Hello MB-ers,
I've decided that I am going to text the number that keeps coming up on H's cellphone (discovered many texts back and forth on this past Valentine's Day). I am going to pretend I am him. Does anyone have any advice? What should I say? I don't want to screw this up, but I can't continue to go on any longer without proof for my own peace of mind.
Thank you-
E

Why text? Call it from an untraceable number and see what happens. Don't give up the fact that you are looking at his cellphone yet, see what you can find out first.

Keep watch on his texts for a while. Sooner or later he will forget to delete something.

I don't know anything about your situation, E, but if this text phone number is all you have, I see some problems ahead. What more can you tell us about your suspicions?

I'm concerned if you DO text a message to that number right now, you're staking everything on this exposing the whole sordid thing...but what if it doesn't? Have you thought it out completely? What if you get no response? Does that prove he IS or IS NOT having an affair? Have you considered putting all your cards in this one basket may simply have the effect of driving the affair further underground?

May I suggest an alternative? If you have the financial resources, hire a private investigator to find out whose number that is...and tons of other information besides? E, have you used all the resources suggested in the "Spying 101" thread? There's a link to that thread just below in my signature area. If you haven't read through that thread, I urge you to check it out now.

LH

I've been having suspicions for some time--her controlling attitude with him, her refusal to acknowledge me at all as his wife, her ignoring me at social functions, the text messages I found, and a few other things that happened all make me feel scared about the nature of their relationship.

If I text her and get no repsonse, then I am no worse off than I am now, am I? or am I? If she told him about "his" text and he had no idea what she was talking about, he would of course suspect that I had commandeered his phone, and then things would get more complicated and posisbly ugly.
*sigh* You're right, this is not the way to go about things. I don't have the funds for a PI, unfortunately, so maybe I should proceed with the GPS tracker or the voice-activated recorder... But again, what if I don't find anything out with these methods, either? At some point I am going to have to tell H why I am so upset and distracted all of the time. Otherwise I'm just a liar (like him maybe?).

I tried calling this and some other numbers I have found and only get a direct to voice mall messaging system (no names, just the same number(s) read by the machine).

I thought if I could set a trap maybe she would fall for it. But now I realise this probably is not the best way of setting out the bait! Too much at stake.

IF I were pretty sure that this number was OW, I would text it.

I would say something like:

"Hey, text me something I'll like."

or just, "Thinking about you..."

Something really short that invites her to text back, but not something too provocative in case it's not the OW.

What is the relationship with this OW? By that I mean do they work together, is she a neighbor?

Back when I was in spy mode with my H I was able to trick the OW using yahoo messenger. All I did was use a phrase that H used and she replied back with I miss you sexy. It was all over then. I replied I miss you too , when can I see you. I will spare you all the gory details. Let's just say when I showed H the printed transcript he did not even try to deny the affair.

This just means that anonymous calls are being rejected. I'm with sexymamabear. I think you have little to lose if you send a text with just 'hi' and see what comes back unless you are worried that he might catch you with his phone in your hand.

Alternatively, you can make a note of the number and call your spouse's cellphone from another phone spoofing her number. You can do this standing in front of him on the house phone (he will never know it is you calling) to see if he answers the call or you can do this when you know he is alone.

With the former, if he answers in front of you he is innocent, if he is guilty he will send the call to voice mail or disconnect. Either way, you will just hang up.

With the latter you will listen for a moment and see what he says when he answers after her number comes up on his phone.

Either way, you won't get caught as you will not speak and it will just look as if her pocket dialed him by mistake.

I did it this it was an eye opener.

Mamabear that is a great idea! You actually made me laugh, because I could see how your mind was working--"wise as afox, meek as a dove"! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

They are friends from college (she is a year younger), but they never hooked up, according to him. She is also an attorney, and has been instrumental in getting him coveted positions in our area of the country. Also he is godfather to her child, and he used to live w/her and her H for a time after law school.

how do you do the spoofing thing? this intrigues me

Oh I think I remember your story from previous posts. How does her husband feel about this relationship? At the least I think she feels she is more important to him than you are because she knew him first. If I were in your position I would also be concerned not only because they may be having an EA/PA but at the very least she is disrespectful to you. Your DH should not be condoning that.

Spoofing is great, I put something about it in the Spying 101 thread. You have to buy minutes. Google to find a firm, there are several and I don't want to post an ad.

Then for each call you get to choose a 'from' number before you dial. You can also have a 'from' name but I haven't used that as I only used the service to dial his crackberry.

You will need to test it carefully so that you have everything working before you start.

Then decide what you want to do - see his face when the call comes in or hear his reaction when he answers.

In my case, I spotted a cellphone call and then used the search function on the backup of his handheld to find out who it was. When a dress size (large) and her birthday (old) came up, I had enough to confirm what i needed to know.

But I used the spoofcaller just to test him after 'NC'. Of course he failed.