Post deleted by AlwaysHurting

AH,

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please realize that your WH's affair is NOT YOUR FAULT! You are responsible for your part in the state of your marriage; he is 100% responsible for his affair. You may want to repost in Gen Question II where there are more vets and activitiy.

Please break your post down into paragraphs; it'll make it easier to decipher. Also, you may want to add info to your signature line like yours and WH's ages, children gender and age, when was d-day and anything else you feel is pertinent.

Have you read Surviving an Affair? Also, you should probably read up on Plan A and eventually Plan B. Your WH is (what some call) an alien right now. He'll say and do things that your real husband would not do. Once OW is out of the picture, WH will go through a painful withdrewal period and then you can start rebuilding.

I am so, so sorry for your pain!

Your pain is so evident, and I am sorry that you are going through this.

I'm reminded of something that our pastor told my husband when we sought counseling for my husband's EA. He told him that he needed to end all contact with her and recognize that, even though she was not evil, the relationship with her was giving Satan a foothold in his life. The minute we give Satan a foothold, he will exploit it to its fullest with his deception (I think this is exactly what the "wayward fog" is everyone talks about around here). He also told him that it was not his responsibility to "save her"... that God would send someone into her life to minister to her hurts but it would not be my husband.

Have you and your husband sought counsel with your pastor concerning his relationship with this woman?