I need help. I was here 1 1/2 years ago due to my H A. We are now having a great recovery.

A very ironic thing happened on Fri. I called my sis in law to tell her something and somehow the lines got crossed or something and I overheard her end of a conversation. To make a long story short, she thought she was talking to someone named ****, but it was me instead. She even said his name a few times. This is the same guy that rumors were flying around about at least 4 years ago. She has no idea that I overheard her conversation, but now what do I do. I know her h must be told, but these are the closest relatives we have on my H side of the family. I need some input please.

Flat out tell her husband and OM's wife.

I suggest talking it over with your H.

Her h needs to be told. There is no easy way to do this and yet it must be done very soon. Even if you decide to talk it over with your h...do not be talked out of doing the right thing here. He must be told.

Your marriage's recovery is the MOST important issue in YOUR life, so it is critical to POJA the decision on HOW to tell. But I would not accept the option of NOT telling. IF you husband refuses to tell, then, I would probably tell on my own, stating that I cannot accept being a part of the lie and deception and enabling of the affair.

I assume since you stated the you are in great recovery that means that you actively use POJA frequently in your marriage.


If the two of you can sit down with her and confront her with the BTDT/we understand approach, maybe you can convince her to confess on her own. IMO, that is always best. But if not, then you two must come to an agreement about HOW to tell the BH and OMW.


Let me just say that my SIL did not inform me of my FWH's affair when she knew for months it was going on. It is devastating to me that she (along with other in-laws) was more concerned about "being there to listen" to my FWH's fog babble, than they were about helping me saving my physical and emotional health and my marriage, as well as my children's family.

I recommend telling her BH and the OMW first.

After that, then confront her. Odds are 100 to 1 she won't listen right then, but she will know where you stand on A's, and you will likely be the first person she seeks out when she is ready to end it.