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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 54
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 54 |
Hi all,
My H and I need to send OW a NC letter, and I need some guidance on content. Does anyone have advice borne of experience, or perhaps a sample letter they would be willing to share? I want to make sure that we give this every chance of success.
Thank you!
E
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
Short is best.
OW,
I have chosen to end this affair and return to my family. Out of respect for my wife, and how much my actions have hurt her, I am ending all contact with you. Do not contact me again, either.
WH
Then you send it, and keep watching to see if he resumes contact later. There is a high rate of false recovery (most WS's have at least one, sometimes more), but even if it happens you can still successfully recover once true NC is in place.
Congratulations - even being willing to send the letter is a huge step.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Dr. Harley's letter from Surviving an Affair: [from SAA, pg 58]
OW, I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk to you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that BS did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay BS for the pain I caused her, I will do my best to become the husband she has been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.
Sincerely, XXXXX
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 54
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 54 |
Thank you so much--these are excellent ideas. I will definitely draw on them and adapt to our own circumstances. I am glad that H has agreed to this, but am prepared for some backsliding, unfortunately. I also suspect that OW will be enraged and possibly vindictive. I'll keep you all posted.
With relief,
E
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