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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 17
K
Junior Member
Junior Member
K Offline
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 17
I am sorry that I am posting so many questions but I feel like you all may be able to give me some helpful advice.

My husband and I separated in December of last year. Well since that separation he has asked me for sex. I did it because I am still his wife. But I felt used and unappreciated because it was like he just used me and went right back to hating me.

He got what he wanted and then went right back to ignoring me and yelling that he wanted a divorce.

He makes me pay for everything, including the bills at our home and our kids necessities. I just had a baby on 2/5/08 and he refuses to come home and help me. He offers no financial support or help for the bills or the kids.

I had a c-section, so I am not supposed to be doing anything physical. Yet I have had to work nonstop from the time I got out of the hospital...now I am on the verge of collasping due to stress...yet he is relaxed and hanging out with friends and living with another friend guy.
Am I being used?
single choice
Votes accepted starting: 02/26/08 01:00 PM


Jesus save me!
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
G
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
K, of course this is not loving caring behavior. Your husband is sending you clear signals he doesn't care about his family or you in the way you need him to, nad that most husbands and fathers do.

Mourn this man, and move on. Get help from friends, family and the church.


Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 715
A
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Posts: 715
Based on his past violent behavior, I'd get a restraining order if you can. Either way, definitely no sex......sex is for someone who loves and cares for you.


3rd marriage to an awesome wonderful man since 2008.

3 children from first marriage, ages 16, 18, 20
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 17
K
Junior Member
Junior Member
K Offline
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 17
One of the other posters said that he was just using me, also...even though we are man and wife. I didn't picture it like that because I thought that maybe he was using that to make up with me...but that was almost two months ago when it happened and he still hasn't come back home. So yes he was using me. I just feel cheap eventhough we are married.


Jesus save me!
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 184
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Posts: 184
kizzypooh - Man and wife or not, you are not an object. It seems to me that is how he is treating you. There is nothing that says you have to give him sex on demand. If its something you want to do for you, fine. However, if you're doing it under the theory that just having sex with him in and of itself will bring him back to you, in my opinion you are fooling yourself. Also, sex like this sets up false expectations, which it seems to have done for you based on your comment of "I thought that maybe he was using that to make up with me." In my mind, that would be the difference between sex and making love. I think you expected the latter and he was there for the former.


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