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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 40
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 40
Id appreciate those who would take the time to read this thank you.

Okay, so it has been about three years since I last came on here. I couldn't find my old posts but to make a long story short my last four year relationship ended up real bad, and I moved on.

I moved on to a woman who I immediately fell in love with. We dated for two years and have bee living together almost a year. Were both in our mid 20s.

I proposed to her a couple months ago and she has done a 180 on me. The issues that at first pushed me away from her have given way full steam. Possessive and controlling are my two biggest issues. These issues were dormant up until recently.

I had an anger problem that I have resolved by either mentally choosing not to get that irate or by leaving for a while, cooling off then coming back. I also help around the house and try to help in what ever I can. All my spare time is for her, I had to fight tooth and nail to go out a Friday once or twice a month.

The problem now is that shes the angry one. We had an argument yesterday, she doesnt like to be tickled, I tickle to cuddle, jokingly hardly brushing against her. She yells at me "Dont F_en touch me, what the F_ is your problem".

I turn off the movie I had rented and proceed to the shower. I let her know that I will not be talked to that way and to please leave the bathroom. She proceeds to throw my clothes into the shower with me. I decide I need to leave to keep my cool so I go out and come back that night.

Next morning she leaves early in the morning and doesn't come back until 7 pm, wanting to talk. "That I BETTER turn off the tv because WE need to talk". I told her based on her behavior I had nothing to say to her. SO she proceeds to grab her belongings and tell me that shes leaving and will be back tomorrow for the rest of her belongings!

I love this woman but her possessiveness and temper have me
not wanting to fight for her. For what? So that things will be twice as bad when we do get married. I feel what she did is a bluff but I will not stand a partner who thinks they can use seperation as a threat to get what they want.

I text ed her that if she did not come home tonight it was a break of our engagement agreement of always coming home no matter what. Its 10:40 at night and not looking like shes coming home.

Infidelity is not an issue,my part or hers(99% sure). Though lack of sex has been. We even tried getting of birth control and it did get better, but because we are both in school she went back on it.

To sum it up I need some advice as to what to do with her NOT coming home. More importantly when, and if I forgive her what do i do about her possessiveness and temper. I know when men do this all ****** breaks loose.

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 40
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 40
Okay so she just text ed me back with "If you had balls you would have been home last night at an appropriate time, instead you were out like a dog with no owner". Yet its okay for her not to come home period.

I replied "So your my owner". This feels like an all time low for me with her. I wont be talked to or treated this way. I need help guys <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
If you want to marry her, tell you will stay together on one condition - that you go to couples counseling together, for as long as it takes until you can both deal with each other in a loving, proactive way. If she is not willing to do that, you should cut your losses.

However. If you do that, please consider getting some counseling on your own, to determine why your relationships end up this traumatic - in other words, what part do you play in the situation? I'm one of those people who believes that a counselor is a trained professional who sees what we don't - and can offer suggestions for making life easier on us. Nothing more. IMO, it never hurts to get more information, especially with something as important as a potential life-long relationship.


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