I think FH you don't even understand what a personal attack is.


This is laughable FH. It really is.

I say first things first and you respond with that. Just laughable.

t/j Bigk mail for you

If you say so it MUST be true BK.

I didn't realize that you had such a limited view of God.

I now understand better where you coming from.

MB first, God much later, if at all (I assume for non Christians?). It crosses my mind what Nathan would have said of that?

I doubt you understand a single thing FH.

Probably not. But it's comforting to know that you know everything. "All hail bK!"

Hey, Hey, Hey you two don't forget why your here. I don't think tigerswife needs any more conflict in her life.

Ok, so basically I would just like to say that I AM a christian and have been my whole life. If there is one that thing that I already know, and have know through this whole experience- it is that I DO need God. It is not a question of that. I wasn't the one who turned away from God , my family, my church. I guess I'm saying, tell me something I don't know. I came here for support and help getting through this. For advice from people who have been there. God IS a great comfort and his scripture definitly gives guidance but I believe he also has purpose in our trials and suffering. That is so that we can be there and help others through when the hard times fall on them. God is a great place to start. Reading the bible and attending church is a great place to start. But, then what? Are we not supposed to be able to lean on brothers and sisters in christ? Did God not create wonderful minds like Dr. Harley's? Did he not have great purpose in doing so?

TW
Make sure you take some time and read on this site. There is tons of informateion that will help; whether it is the Basic Concepts or some of the Questionaires take time to read them. It's a huge step that both of you are here and willing; so please take some time read and ask questions. There are many good people here to help.

Lean on your brothers and sisters. We will be here for you. God created the Body of Christ for that purpose.



So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me...

Thank you sexymamabear. I was getting a little distracted by the arguments going on in this thread.

Well, I don't think I am quite to the point of feeling like I know EVERYTHING and that I can start to recover. I still get a nagging gut feeling that there's something else I don't know. In the past my gut has always been right. Someone on this board suggested a polygraph test. I mentioned it to WH and he said he would do it although, up until last night he has always said no way. So is this something I should seriously follow through on?

thanks for your help tw. i have read your story and it is similar.

i dont have friends anymore becuz of my situation.
i just cant trust people anymore.

TW,

How are things going?

My husband has been posting to your husband. We noticed neither of you have been around for a couple days. I hope you both are doing OK.

I continue to pray for your family.

Hi sexymamabear. My H got discouraged the other night because he wanted to talk and I guess there weren't alot of people on. Things have been pretty bad. I have been very upset and he has been angry. He is saying that I am taking things here to seriously and that its just people here that don't know our situation. He insists he is not blameshifting. He is very adament about the fact that if it were not for OW, he never would have cheated on me. Last night was the worst night in a long time. We fought alot. I was very angry and he ended up saying he wanted to die and waving his gun around. I was VERY scared, hurt and angry. He didn't point it at me but he pointed it at his own head and then swung it around in the air. When things finally calmed down a bit, I told him this behavior was unacceptable and COMPLETELY unsafe. What if it went off accidentally while he was waving it in the air? This has caused me a major setback. I feel like if I try to be strong and stand my ground, it always ends up taking the suicide route. I don't know if I am being to hard on him. I just know that when he acts that way, I don't feel like being with him is a good thing at all. He says he either wants to be with me or be dead. I still want to try and make this work. Am I doing something wrong?

TW

That situation is NOT GOOD. It's dangerous and I would leave the house. I'd even call the police.

Talking suicide like that sounds like total manipulation on his part, basically tying your hands so you won't change the status quo. He needs IC big time and you need to stand your ground and maintain your boundaries. This dynamic must change.

By all means call the police, once you are in a safe situation. Do not stay there with him at this point.

I still would totally like to see you both succeed together, but he has to get help for that illegal and abusive behavior (brandishing, threatening suicide), and you have to be out of the way for that to happen. I can't emphasize to you enough how very serious this is. Get outside professional help immediately. Don't wait.

Prayers with you,
Neak

TW,
If this situation has escalated to the point of your H waving a GUN IN THE AIR?? it is time to remove yourself. This sitch sounds extremely dangerous. Do you have any friends or family you can stay with at this time??
Sorry, I haven't read the entire thread, but this sounds extremely unsafe. Your H needs counseling.

This happened about 6 years ago, except at that time he didn't have a gun so he went to someones house that we know that had a gun when they were out of town. He made it clear to me that he was going there to kill himself. I called the police. They intercepted him and took him in to mental health. They released him the next morning. I am not concerned that he will try to hurt me with it. I am worried about him hurting himself. I don't know if he seriously would or if he is just doing to for a reaction/attention. Either way, I am really worried. We have spent several months since D-day with the guns hidden because of him saying he was suicidal. Over the past few months I started feeling ok about letting him know where they are. Now this. I don't feel I need to call police to protect myself from him, but I do feel he may need personal help.

He does need personal help. If the police are smart, they will revoke his gun privileges, also.

Maybe he is just doing this for a reaction, but I hope you won't take the chance with your life. A boundary enforcement for this would be that you will not allow him around you until he has gotten help for his problem, and is safe to be near.

If he is out of control and unstable (and anyone waving a gun around is definitely out of control) you are in danger of being hurt. Please don't discount the fact that YOU could be injured in this situation...I urge you to remove yourself. Once you are out, you can call the authorities to get help for your H..You have to think about what could happen if the gun does go off..and he is exhibiting dangerous behavior that could result in serious injury (or worse) for both of you..

Well back then he didn't have any. The guns are hidden from him now. Thats a start.