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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 51
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 51 |
Please help... I finally exposed. She is PISSED, says its over, everything I expected, but i can't think straight enough to know what to say to her. PLease help!!!!!!!!!!!!! My thread: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...ID=#Post3337535
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 638
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 638 |
Batten down your hatches.
Who did you expose to?
What did you say?
How did your wife find out?
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 51
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 51 |
Exposed to my mom. WW found out by snooping my email. Was honest with WW, did not apologize. Now she is pissed, have a firestorm waiting when I got home from work. Need ANY advice on how to not let her tear me apart emotionally
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 638
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 638 |
Did you tell your mom about your EA and how it might have contributed to the state of your marriage?
My concern is that if you left that out your wife is going to feel that you've were not honest and that your were shirking your own culpability.
Whatever was in the email, you need to get yourself calmed down. Do you usually have this strong a reaction to your wife's anger or is this a recent development?
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490 |
Ok, first of all...CALM DOWN.
This is very normal. Most WSs spew the same stuff after exposure.
Just tell her that you are doing everythign you can to save your M; that M is made for TWO and not THREE, and the only way to get OM out of the picture is to expose this ugly fantasy to the light of day.
DO NOT LOVEBUST. Tell her you are sorry she feels that way, but you are doing everything you can to save this M.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. 
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 51
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 51 |
I exposed all my faults as well as hers. She says it over, we're done, don;t bother cuz there is nothing left. i don;t believe her but don;t know how to respond either.... Somewhere I saw a thread on what to say when you get the firestorm after exposure, but i can't find it....
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 638
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 638 |
Maybe this is the thread you were looking for? MB thread There seems to be several folks inputting on that one in regards to exposure fallout. jmwc95 wrote, "Okay, a sh!tstorm is about to descend upon you and you need to know how to deal with it. Just lovingly detach and refuse to get drug into a fight. Key phrases to disarm the situation are, "I did what I thought I needed to do to save the marriage," and, "I'm sorry you feel that way." Do not apologize for your actions and walk away from any venom spewfest. "
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 638
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 638 |
SG, just checking it to see how you are.
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