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Post deleted by Imagination
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Have you filed a legal separation yet? I would do that immediately and get an agreement that he never take your DD around his sleazy affair partner. This is how waywards normalize their filthy affairs, by bringing the kids in and introducing them to the affair partner. Unfortunately, it teaches your DD that adultery is an acceptable alternative and exposes her to unfit adults.
So, I would not allow that to happen if I were you, unless you are court ordered.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jun 2005
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she can have that put in there but it doesn't mean he has to sign it that way. if he doesn't agree to sign it than that agreement means nothing. then she is stuck.
i don't know very many wayward spouses who would agree to sign a document stating that the kids could not be around the affair partner. i know mine would not have. bottom line ended up being that there was nothing i could do about what he did with our kids when he had them. i kept ow away as long as i could but once we signed the sep agreement, he had them right there spending time with her.
all i have been able to do is be sure my kids know the truth and raise them with morals and pray that when they spend time with him, all of the morals i have taught them aren't being pushed out of their little brains by seeing how he lives.
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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mlhb, we have several cases here where it was included in the separation agreement and approved by a judge so I know it is possible. Even so, I would require a court order and a sheriff with a big gun before I would allow my child to be corrupted by an affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jun 2005
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oh trust me, i managed to keep them away from her for a good amount of time. but he never would have signed a sep agreement that stated she could not be near them and, here in NY anyway, unless i could prove (with actual pictures or something) they had been having an affair, no judge would have forced that to be in the agreement.
i managed to keep her away almost a year. my ex was getting ready to go to iraq so the kids counselor said it would be too much for them to deal with daddy's new "gf" and deal with him going to iraq. counselor told ex to wait until her returned before introducing them. by then my kids knew (they had known anyway) that gf was actually ow and to this day know very well how they got together.
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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Joined: Jun 2005
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it is sad but sometimes, most of the time, the laws in our country do not protect betrayed spouses or their kids. the law is not always morally correct in my opinion.
here in NY it is still on the books as a crime to commit adultery. heck, my ex broke that law many times and should be in jail by now for it. but they make it so hard, like you actually have to have time dated pictures of them in bed together to prove it. in order to file for divorce on the grounds of adultery you have to prove the adultery with actual physical evidence. i think it is ridiculous.
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Imagination, why did you delete your post? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
I would just reiterate my advice to do everything in your power to protect your children from the affair. Instruct your atty to do everything in his power to prevent that.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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