Please help
I have been married 13 Years.This week after long build ups we had a huge fight (boose were involved & a "cheap woman)it ended up he hitting me.
I left the house,walking in the streets looking for help,because he refused to give my cell to me to phone someone.I got help and phoned a friend.The next day (on my birthday)I had to begg him to send my children to me,eventualy he did.That night I went to get some clothes ect for us.He then ask if we can talk,I said no,then he has the odisity to ask me: not even sweet talk.
I knew if I had to listen to him then,I would not have left,because I always "forgive"him. That made me think is this why he is hurting me so much,because he knows I will go back to him,no matter what he does.I've been trough affairs,all kinds of abuse,lies and the list can go on.
Can something like this works? Please tell me your thoughts on this because I dont want to make a mistake.
Even if all of this happening I think I still love him.

Over,

I'm sorry you're here. And I'm sorry you're going through this.

If he's abusive then you should not be in the house. So in my humble opinion you did the right thing by leaving.



If you mean "do the Marriage Builders principals and lifestyle work?" Yes it does work and there's lot's of success stories on this message forum testifying to that. Are there guarantees that this will work for you? Nope... But it does work and I think there’s still hope that your marriage can be repaired.

I think the first question you have to ask yourself is. “Do I want to save my marriage?” If the answer is yes ... then you’re in the right place...

We (The other people here and myself) need some more background information... can you give us some?

Amazin

Over - there is no excuse, not booze, not anything else, for physical abuse of a spouse.

Was this the first time he hit you? I tend to doubt it from what you have written about always "having to forgive him."

So if you want to remain married to him there are going to need to be some real changes in each of you.

Are you willing to make changes in yourself?

Do you think your husband would be willing to make necessary changes in himself?

I'm pretty sure I read in one of the articles here that MB doesn't work for alcohol and other drugs and abuse.

Whatever you do- you should protect yourself and your kids from him. He has uncontrolable anger issues if he hits you and that is SO UNACCEPTABLE and illegal. We'd all like infidelity to be prosecutable but it isn't, spouse abuse IS. Don't let him do that to you. Find help as in an agency that deals specifically with this sort of thing.

Let's see... there was booze involved (alcholic?), a cheap woman (adultery? or prostitite?), children, and spousal abuse. You mentioned you "always forgive him". Doesn't sound good. Your priority should be protecting your children from having to see any more of the above activities and then protecting yourself. MB won't work when there's abuse or alcohol. You "think" you still love him. Many abused women still "love" their abuser.

Do you have family or friends you can stay with? Are their any shelters for abused women in your area? You need to get a RO and stay away from him for awhile until you can figure out whether his abuse, adultery and alcohol use is worth the price of your children. There is NO excuse for physical abuse. EVER.

Is he an alcoholic?

If you want help to get out of this horrible situation...it is available to you.
Are you wanting to get away from him and just don't know how? I will work with you to make that happen if you are ready to act.
If you plan on continuing to forgive his horrible behaviors, then there is really nothing we can do for you. Bottom line is...you have to decide...do you want this to stop or not.

I will ask fireblossom to check in on you.