How the heck are you supposed to recover when your mind is continuous presenting you with triggers and bad memories. It has been two months since dday and I'm a wreck. Every day is an emotional rollercoaster. My FWH is a trigger in himself. I just want to run away sometimes.

I understand how you feel. I feel that way too, still. I am 8 months out from D-Day. I am still learning myself. But this is part of how and affair is one of the most painful things that a person can experience. I am sorry you are hurting. I can tell you that it is not quite so bad over time. I found over time that there were moments in my day when I actually didn't think about it. Those moments come more frequently now but my thoughts are still dominated by the affair.

MU,

This is tough at this point, but accepting that you aren't going to forget this happened to you any more that you are going to forget other significant things that have happened during your life is a part of the process.

Fortunately, recovery doesn't require amnesia, just making all of the right efforts to build a better marriage with your FWS and that takes time.

Over time you will find that you won't be triggered as often and that you won't even think about it every day. It took me more than three years to reach that point, but mostly, I am doing fine now.

Mind you, I still get really pi$$ed at FWH when I do think about all the pain we have both experienced for him to be the man, so to speak. Thankfully, it usually passes so fast that I don't even end up LBing him.

Who

It's been 9 months for me and I still get those reminders and triggers every day.
If you're lucky you can turn them into a joke.
For instance, my son fosters dogs for an animal rescue service, rescuing them from the pound before they are put to sleep and giving them a temporary home while they try to find them a permanent home. It's a wonderful thing this group does and I'm very proud of him.
I was visiting him for a week and had just gotten there when he got a phone call about a dog that needed a home.
He went and picked it up. When he brought it home I asked him what her name was. He said I don't know but it's on her collar. I looked down and read her collar...her name was the same as the OW. I said Oh good God!
When WH called the next day I told him about the dog and her name. I then said "You'd be very proud of me. I haven't kicked her or called her a B---- once".
We both got a good laugh out of that.
Of course then I had to spend the week feeding, walking, and petting a dog I couldn't bare to call by name.
It does seem like I'm constantly getting my nose rubbed in it. The pain has yet to go away.

Terry,

Loved the dog story. I can remember a few years ago, FWH and I were lounging around and a movie came on where in the first scene, it became clear that one of the lead females shared a first name with OW.

FWH calmed said, well I don't know about you, but I have no desire to sit here and watch any movie having to here ******* over and over again.

Who