Here is my story,<BR>Married 22 years to a lovely woman, caught her cheating on me, confronted her, denied it, found 500+ minute cell phone bill, long distance calls from hotel while family on vacation,love note to OM, and she brought our kids 7 & 12 to his house and interacted with OM's kids building relationship, I've told her if she sill wants to see OM she must file papers, called my bluff did not file and said did not want to see OM again, she wants me to move out, so does her mother & brother, I said I am not going anywhere I did nothing wrong she should leave if she needs time apart, I do not want her to take kids with her even if it is for a week at a time, I have been reading the forum for nearly 2 weeks hoping to find a similar situation but to no avail, Now I am asking for some advice from true people who are living my nightmare, Please help!!!

Here I am!<P>This happened to me too!<BR>I have 3 kids (7yo girl, 10yo boy and 17yo stepson[never adopted])<P>My wife found an Internet affair about December(98) and was discovered 1st week in April(99).<P>I was devastated! <P>She filed for divorce at the end of April, I counter filed (end of June 99) since I was not going to allow the OM to become my kids father!!!! That was her game plan.<P>In mid June she brought OM into my house while I was on a business trip... and had him play daddy for the day! Total disgust! <P>I made it clear that she was going to be in the biggest/ugliest custody fight she could dream of. I went to a "father's rights"/"custody" web site for loads of help...<P>I know this was <B>extreme</B> love busting... but there was no way in hell I was going to settle for being an every other weekend... child support paying... alimony paying... DAD!<P>My situation worked out because of a few extenuating circumstances...<BR>1. W found this guy in next state over.<BR>2. My stepson was old enough to know his mom was being a total "jerk"... He hated (and still hates) the man(OM) who broke up our family. He will not move out to the state of OM under any circumstance. I raised him since he was 3yo... and knows me as his "real" father! He has high morals!<BR>3. All my children are tight-knit. There was no way a judge would separate oldest from the 2 youngest!<BR>4. Our state frowns on adulterers dragging kids of state to live with OP's. They need a "better" reason!<BR>5. I had a great judge who gave me restraining orders...<BR> a. OM <B>not</B> having overnights with my kids<BR> b. OM <B>not</B> allowed into my house anymore<BR> c. cancel a vacation my wife was planning to have with OM and his kids! <BR> (I didn't even ask for (c.))<P>Soooo... my W gave up custody battle in mid August. She moved out to OM's state (I gave her $10,000) to get started [she claiming that she would live alone.] She lied... lied... lied... and now OM has moved into her apartment. BTW... lying seems to be the most prevalent trait of the betrayer! BTW... gulability seems to be a most prevalent trait of betrayed!<P>She moved out 7 weeks ago and has little contact with me or children... but gets to have them go out there every other weekend... But... the restraining orders are still in effect... so OM leaves on those few nights... stays with his mommy!<P>I'm in Plan A now...<BR>Still trying to make up for "love busting" (custody fight)...<BR>I think I need to be here a while...<P>If you want to contact me on this... email me at imherczeg@yahoo.com<P>Jim

Had a very simular situation. <BR>First, Mother and brother are irrelevant. She's been telling them stuff and preping them. Don't waste your time with them. Blood is thicker than water so those two jokers are going to take her side no matter what.<BR>Don't move out. Stay in your home and be a father. She wants to break up the family then she will have to leave. Try to be a nice as you can and keep the kids out of it. <BR>In the mean time forget about the mom and bro.<BR> What does her father think???

Jim (NSR),<BR>You da man!<BR>Way to fight and win..