So my question is this? How can the betrayed one feel expected to give desire and love to betrayer when betrayer seems ignorant or doesnt care to items such as cell phone still in name of lover and doesnt want to quit job. My wife still can be contacted at work from lover although he no longer works there. She works very late at nite and the only phone we have is the one cell phone that she won't even leave at home so me and my kids cannot do anything in an emergency.I am the one suffering so many emotions and i can barely bring myself to talk rationaly with her and she still yells and cusses at me. She likes to turn it around like everything is happening to her. I tell her what is keeping us from reconciling is the phone because its in his name although she bought it. She downplays it as just a phone. I still feel she is talking to him. I gave up drinking and many things for her in the past so that she would't use it against me. I have no friends anymore and I dont' See my family from my mother side hardly. She constanly accuses me of cheating when she is the one that has admitted it and still has the gall to tell me!!! She sleeps with the phone with her all the time and never lets it go at all. She is very touchy when i need to use it.So i have to wait till she is asleep and even then i have to be lucky that the phone comes out from under her.I know she is trying to come back to me in the sense of the heart but i can still feel her bad vibes and she will not let the phone go until she can get it in her own name. I tell her that until the hurt is stopping I cannot give her anylove at all and she cannot give me any. She doesnt accept or understand this or want to or just doesnt care and will talk to me later like nothings wrong. This is only very little of what has been happening Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have much more to say But any help!!!

Work it or Leave it??? single choice
	Leave permeantly?
	Work it out
Votes accepted starting: 03/09/08 03:37 AM
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Sounds like there is still contact. The phone needs to go - it is a hurtful reminder of the affair.

Do you work outside the home?

Next time your wife is asleep, and you get your hands on the phone break it into pieces. Then be a man and tell her that there will be no place in your marraige for any affair phones. WW must get a new company and phone number.

While this would make a point to his WW it would only be a temporary fix. She could just get another phone. It is the actual number that needs to be changed and the name on the account. I would suggest he look into the plan she has and see if the name and number can be changed. In this case if I were him I would call up the cell company pretending he is OM. Then change both the name on the account and the number.