Ok.. to make this short.. we dated for 7 years.. before we got married i got into some financial trouble which im still in.. ive always been independent and am self employed... i spent most of my 20s with this man and now ealry 30s, i want a family.. we kept both homes and either o us wanted to move.. he lvies close to his job and i lived close to mine.. he was acting weird past 2 months.. he finalytold me he was not happy, so trying tosave our marriage i wanted to know why and what i can do , he wanted some time.. he calls me todayt to tell me he watns a divorce but i dont want one..

ive ben trying tosell my home for 6 months now and i think i have a buyer.. he just feels its not going to work and i want a family now..
we get along great and never really fought about anything major..i dont know why he would want to walk away from everything just like that.. he says he will stil help me out etc but i dont get it ..

so not only am i losing my home, my financial status is horrible now and i just lost my fther .. this just topped it off.. i started therapy and he does not want to go( of course) ,...waht do i do> i dont want to be married to someone who doesnt want to be with me , but i feel like we need to really try to make it work,, i dont want tobe a statistic.. help!!

I'm sorry about your loss.

Don't agree to the divorce without marriage counseling first. Not just one visit, but at least several. He owes you that much. You probably have a 70-80% chance that he is having an affair - physical or at least emotional (sees someone else he'd like to get with but hasn't yet).

If you're having money problems, I think you're better off selling your house anyway, and getting your bills paid off. If you can't move in with your husband, get a small apartment, live frugally, and take this year to get your finances in order. You'll be in a position of power a year from now if you can do that and make clearer decisions.

People will tell you that living apart like you do is almost certainly doomed to fail. Marriage Builders wants you to spend at least 15 hours a week together doing fun stuff - not tv! Very hard to meet that, if you live apart. And too easy to fall into traps of other people if you don't have to come home to your wife. If you do stay together, you need to insist on one home.

So you got married but do not and did not live in the same house? That would ruin even the best of marriages.

But from everything else you said, all signs point to the presence of another woman.

AGG