I'm posting this on every discussion site I encounter. Feel free to copy it, if you would like.
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“It was a victimless crime. He only hurt his family.”

Is anyone else struck by the cruelty and hypocrisy of this statement??

Every upstanding citizen and every politician claims to fully support Family Values - but when it comes to adulterous men like President Clinton, Senator Craig and Governor Spitzer, suddenly we’re all supposed to look the other way and not be concerned because it’s a “personal matter.”

Since when is destroying a family – which never asked to have the cruelty and torment of adultery dumped on it – “victimless?”

Since when is destroying a family – which subsequently disrupts everything from the people you work with (who miss many, many hours and days of work because they’re in divorce court and/or in treatment for suicidal depression) to your children’s friends (who suddenly disappear because a cheating parent ripped their family apart and moved them away) - solely a “personal matter?”

Adultery is anything but “victimless.”

Adultery destroys families. It destroys lives. It risks the physical, emotional and financial health of every family it touches. It is a huge factor in domestic violence and causes endless amounts of sheer misery for everyone it touches, including the youngest children.

The #1 threat to The Family is adultery - yet I have NEVER heard one politician say one word about changing the cultural attitudes which tacitly allow a successful man to reward himself with some adultery. Even though his family suffers the torments of h*ll, the rest of us silently look away and are repeatedly told we should not care.

Because, after all, “He only hurt his family.”

Considering this is on the front page of almost every paper...pasted all over the internet and will most likely result in his resignation today...I don't see anyone looking silently away.

The #1 threat to The Family is adultery - yet I have NEVER heard one politician say one word about changing the cultural attitudes which tacitly allow a successful man to reward himself with some adultery. Even though his family suffers the torments of h*ll, the rest of us silently look away and are repeatedly told we should not care.
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You are right. I suppose I have heard some politicians (or their wifes) talk about morals and values etc...but, the general attitude still seems to be that adultery is a 'perk' of the business (politics).

Yeah, I saw Dershowitz express this exact thing last night on the boob tube... I guess he was never cheated on. Then again, he defended von Bulow and OJ, perhaps those were victimless crimes too (or at least the victims were too dead to disagree)....

AGG

Good job Mulan!
I think our society in general is so desensitized to the act of adultery...it is so devastating to the family..I have no idea how anyone could say "It's a Victimless Crime" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I can't believe that I'm defending Dershowitz here....but...

The "victimless crime" of which he speaks is PROSTITUTION...not ADULTERY. They are not the same thing.

Prostitution is a crime, adultery is not. I, for one, would reverse that...

Prostitution is far from a victimless crime.

Stir it up <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Start a debate where one is not intended...


Read the posts above...See if you can discern the meaning I intended. Please understand before responding.

Agreed, they are not the same thing, and I realize he was talking about the former (even though Spitzer made it a point to bust up prostitution rings)... But, Dershowitz went on to mumble that in the entire world, we are the only country that concerns itself with the private lives of our politicians, and we shouldn't care about who sleeps with whom and should just focus on how they perform their jobs. So, I think he was alluding to both aspects of it.


I agree.

AGG

I understand where Dershowitz was headed...BUT, prostitution is often described as a victimless crime....

I've never heard of adultery being referred to that way...1) Adultery is NOT A CRIME; and 2) and even if was, it certainly isn't victimless...

The comment about 'private lives' is the standard liberal complaint that America isn't Europe. We don't tolerate personal behaviors that Europeans do...That's basically how it goes..(the argument, that is)...

Specifically, the victims are the wife and kids in this case..of course, there are no laws that characterize it that way, and I am aware of that....IMHO for many reasons, the fallout of a married person engaging in soliciting prostitutes is so damaging..For that reason alone (and for many other reasons) I could never see prostitution as a victimless crime.

Just responding to your actual words. You would make prostitution legal and adultery a crime.
I seem to remember you once posting that adultery shouldn't be a crime.
But I guess if I read between the lines and wave a magic wand over your posts, your words will mean something different than what you wrote.

Perhaps your words should be clear to avoid this type of misunderstanding.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I am wondering what would be worse - to find out that your spouse was having an affair, or that your spouse was visiting a hooker... Both make you feel like crap, of course, but I wonder which would be worse for the BS. Thoughts?

AGG

wow...I think both would have their own unique problems...I think a hooker removes the emotional issue associated with affairs though.
I think there are a few people on this board that have dealt with both.

A pretty darn shortsighted and stupid reliance on their ethical facades.

This kind of fuzzy thinking bugs me no end.

And besides, so what? Do we blindly follow Europe or China or the Middle East in everything else too? If not, why this? Do I have to think like a Frenchman and have multiple mistresses or somehow I am not an enlightened man?

Read the NYT articles, or Reuters or even this one in the BH News:

http://www.al.com/news/birminghamnews/wire.ssf?/base/news/1205223308118910.xml&coll=2

This was more than sex and prostitution, money is involved. Lots of it.

The guy is a total hypocrite, adulterer and all around scumbag and he probably always has been.

As far as I am concerned, no one who’s personal life is as screwed up as these politicians lives are has any right to run even the smallest aspect of mine. I give them no authority to tell me what to do in anything whatsoever if they can’t keep their pecker in their pants or their hand out of other peoples’ wallets.

If they will hurt their families with such impunity they will certainly harm me and mine when it is also to their benefit.

Ethicists generally agree, politicians must be held to much higher standards. How they conduct their private lives, how they act towards their own spouse and family is a strong indicator of their honesty and compassion in general.

Their public lives are always facades, what they do when they think no one can see them is who they really are.

ed: clarity

The damage is not caused expressly by visiting a sex worker...The damage is caused when the married person engages in *ANY* extra-marital ugly-bumping...Prostitution is just one of many, many possible scenarios.

I'm so tempted, but will refrain from taking the earlier bait about the world's 2nd oldest profession...

As far as MB is concerned, the issue here is that a married man w/children engaged a prostitute. If it doesn't involve a married individual, or someone about to be married, the issue as important to marriage-building as the weather on Mars.

Unfortunately I can answer that. When I was pregnant with my first child, my H went to a prostitute when he was in the throws of his addiction.

For me and it's just MHO, this TIME hurts way worse because then he seemed sorry. This time he walked away and blames me for it.

I agree, adultery should be a crime.

I'm not so sure about prostitution. To me, that's tougher since so many are likely forced or coerced into that line of work. (Think pimps, addicts, slaves, children...)

However, if prostitution is made legal, then betrayed spouses should be able to collect damages against prostitutes that take on married clients, regardless of knowledge of their clients marital status. I.E. it's understood that some clients will be married and lie about it, but the prostitute is still liable for damages.

Actually, neither should be a crime, and I do know I've said that repeatedly on many fronts as it concerns prostitution. Legislating behavior is ludicrous, stupid and fruitless, as thousands and thousands of years of futility have proven. Sadly, some even today, have not learned that lesson.

That being said, if a choice MUST be made, adultery universally harms, prostitution does not(universally)...Therefore the choice is logically simple.

[quote: As far as I am concerned, no one who’s personal life is as screwed up as these politicians lives are has any right whatsoever to run mine. They have no right to tell me what to do in anything whatsoever if they can’t keep their pecker in their pants or their hand out of other peoples’ wallets.]

Amen!

TT

edited to add: someday ill figure out how to do this fancy quote feature for real... until then, ya'll just have to deal with my weird versions of a "quote" while I try to figure it out... every time I think I got it finally (like now), I go to my post and it looks funky...

sigh <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />