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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 58
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 58 |
If you don't remember my story D-day New Years. A going on for 6 months. Promised no contact. A month later D-day #2. Agreed to no contact letter and I exposed the affair. Since then we have tried to move on. He has been loving, supportive, accountable for his whereabouts. I still snoop. I checked our phone bill on line just now and found that he made 2 calls to her this week. We have been actively working on our marriage and I thought making progress. My question is when a spouse is willing to stay home with his family do I throw him out to start plan b?
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496 |
I am so sorry. False recoveries stink.
How do you feel? Obviously this means the A is still on going. Has your WH learned anything or is he just playing the game? What does he know about MB principles?
Personally I'd be going into plan B sooner rather than later. I would be losing my love for him rapidly after a false recovery.
BW(me)
DDay EA 4/05
DDay PA 6/05
In recovery
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,306
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,306 |
Sorry tx, that sucks.
It comes down to what are you willing to tolerate in your marriage? Its about you, your boundaries, and what you are willing to do to enforce them. Your H was obviously not serious about his efforts to recover the M. More of the same will likely get you more of the same.
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 58
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 58 |
MG- I feel more angry than sad this time...I had thought we had been making real progress. Ironically he knows MB maybe better than me. His parents are in family ministry I got a copy of HNHN from them. He knows this is wrong. Its insane that he doesn't stop
Tyk-I think you are right about more of the same.
Funny thing is when this started I felt like I had to take responsibility for our marriage too. The power of plan A though is I know I'm doing my part to fulfill his needs so there is no more excuses.
BW-32
wh-32
M-10years
2 boys-2 yo and 8mo
Dday 12/31/07
NC-3/28/08 after many broken attempts
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,306
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,306 |
Have you exposed the A to his family?
If you could, post a link to your story in your signature, it would be helpful for those of us wanting to catch up.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643 |
Its insane that he doesn't stop He is in an addiction and is only concerned with his next fix. I'm sorry you are hurting. Having people understand doesn't help when you are walking through it, and this won't mean squat either, but this too shall pass.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
Let him know that you know about the phone calls ASAP.
See what he has to say.
At this point, if you are in RECOVERY, it shouldn't be considered SNOOPING.
You should OPENLY have access to ALL PHONE RECORDS.
Have you been following the RECOVERY RULES?
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
Here you go: RECOVERY AFTER AN AFFAIR Click on the above...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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