My husband left on DDay Jan 1, moving in with his 29 year old girlfriend, after 29 years of what i thought was a happy marriage. We have had very limited contact, occasional emails,texts, and I see him every few weeks for mostly taking care of business-type conversations. We have not been fighting, and he knows I want to save our marriage. Is it too late to go plan A, I have not been LBing, but I don't know if it is useless at this point. Any advice? Thank you. [color:"black"] [/color]

MO,,,

I am sorry you are here and for your situation. But since you are, this is the best place to be. The VETS will help emmincely and the rest will support and encourage you. That is the catagory I fall in.

So, too late for Plan A??? Nope, my WS left also and it is working really well. It would help if you told us more about your sitch though. Are there kids involved? How long has the A been going on??? Let us know the whole story and we can work from there...

Hang on honey and keep you chin up....help is on the way...

Not2fun

The affair started 7/07, with a woman he works with, she no longer works there. I became suspicious of the affair around 11/07, discovered proof, confronted and he admitted affair on 12/28/07. He said he wanted to stay in the M and end A, but on New Year's day, he left, lived in hotel for a week, then rented an apartment where they live together.

Wee have three sons, ages 26,4, 21, who all worked with my husband,I and younger attended college) and who all quit their jobs working with WH when A came to light, rather than watch their father with this young woman.

The worst part, is that my oldest son was in a relationship with this woman when my husband began his affair with her.

I think I want to stay in the M with WH, but am confused as to whether or not plan A will get him out of the fog, or whether I should just move on.

A lot of what I read about different types of affairs leads me to believe thst his is an "exit" affair, especially since the OW is 19 years younger, and that he only made a feeble 3 day attempt at R.
Please advise me.

You really need to do the plans here. Start with a good, short Plan A. Then you can think about Plan B later. Affairs never last, and this one won't either. He sounds like my ex - he had an "exit" affair with a woman 20 years younger, and left without looking back.

Fast forward 3 years and the affair ended and he wanted back. But sadly he waited until after the divorce and I've moved on.

Your husband will be back too. You just need to start the MB program. The fact that they are living together is a plus. That will end the fantasy sooner.

You can text him cheerful texts, talk sweetly to him, and work on yourself in the meantime.

MyOcean,

My WH left on 5/13/07. I found this site a month later and worked a fair Plan A, but I didn't really understand the principles of Plan A.

I went into a modified Plan B and fortunately Mimi and many others took notice and started helping me. I have worked an awesome Plan A when I can with him, though he isn't home and is still living with crack ho with hep C.

I am just about to go into Plan B, a VERY DARK Plan B.

The reason my Plan A was so successful was because I learned that it was about ME. It was about me learning to make those changes in me that I had always wanted to make and becoming the person that I wanted to be regardless of whether WH was home or not. NO doubt it might have been more successful if he had been home, but that' wasn't G-ds plan for me.

G-ds plan was for me to learn about myself, and understand and come to terms with my part in the breakdown of our M and allow myself the ability to change, so that even if my M doesn't make it, I can look back on this and say I did the very best I could.

Please trust the process because there are so many on HERE who have had so much success. Read the threads, seek questions and ask them.

Learn about yourself and most of all remember, have FUN and keep the FOCUS on YOU. What you do in Plan A isn't about WH, though that was a hard one to understand for me. But eventually I got it and did things that I NEVER thought I could.

We are here for you and will walk through with you if you let us.

Warmly,
Queenie