My husband moved out about a month ago in with a friend for one night and then with his girlfriend. He has been lying to her as well as me for about 2 months now. We have been sleeping together and they recently started sleeping together. Just over the past few days reconcilation has come up and he is unsure about what he wants to do and who he wants to be with. We have 2 small babies 19 months and 6 months old. The homewrecker is a 23 year old coworker and my husband is 31. He said with her it is no responsiblity and he likes that. He said things about her drive him crazy as well but he is still living with her. I went to talk to my lawyer earlier this week for a consult about divorce. Do I believe that WS is really thinking about coming back home? or do I go ahead and file for divorce? I want to be with him and save our marriage and our family. I dont think they will last and he tells me that he sees there are changes in me and says the biggest thing is that he has to see that he will fall in love with me again. I am on such a rollercoaster of feelings Idont know what to believe anymore. He called me this morning to say he was thinking about me as well as last night after he left here to go back to her house on the way there he called and said I appreciate how well you are taking this and I am not saying we are getting back together but if we do I dont want you to hang your head in shame. I dont want you to care what other people think. Does it sound like he is just keeping his options open to see if it doesnt work out with her? I dont know what to do. any advice???

Oh, he is for sure just keeping his options open, right now. Plan A is the starting point for you. Read all about it and start practicing it.

Have you exposed the affair to your friends and family? Shedding a little light on the affair often ends it. Also be sure to let their personnel office what is going on.

I have and nothing from him he used to talk to his mom about 4-5 times a week and in the past 2 months maybe about 3 times. I told eveyrone and he isnt really fazed by it. is taht all plan a is about>? just exposing to his family I have read the plan a and b about 3 times and plan b is just cutting off any communication which is really hard since we have 2 kids. I still love him and want to be with him and wish he would wake up and see a 23 year old cant offer him what his family can. He seems like he is going thru a mid life crisis or something. this is out of the blue my family and me are all shocked and so just dont know. plan a obviously didnt work except maybe that the past 2-3 days he is thinking about he is unsure of what he wants. I know I want him back. He has plans about a wedding that he is going with her in june so obvsiously should I give up??? I am not ready to but not sure how much longer I can wait around for him to wake up.

Plan A takes time, and try to remember plan A is about you, not him. The carrot and the stick. Expose the A (stick) while showing him what a wonderful person you are (carrot). Try to unconditionally meet his needs while working on yourself.