I don't visit the forum much anymore. I don't feel I can really help much and there are many here who really know and can express them very well, getting right to the heart of the problems.
I admire them and I thank God for them, because they really are a huge help when you wander in here not really knowing what to do.
I still can't be unemotional about all this infidelity. Not here and not in real life and that's much more difficult. It's everywhere!
I've just been taken out of my job and part of the reason I'm sure, is that the woman I studied with in university is the big boss's lover. We hadn't seen each other much for maybe 15 years when I came to work at the main building in 2005. And now we cross paths every now and then, but I'm sure she had something to do with it. Formally it's a sort of promotion, but it may also be considered a punishment. Time will tell. I am happy actually, but I still feel "messed with", which is the negative aspect. And that's not the only case around, unfortunately.

I've been in plan B for 3+ years and that means that my feelings for WH have been put away "in a little box" so I have no idea what I feel for him. I've only seen him 4 or 5 times in all these years and during those minutes I am indifferent. The advice is to get a divorce and just carry on with my life. Very logical and good advice. But the results of asking for a divorce are non predictable (I live in south america) and most probably not favourable to me financially. On the other hand since I am a catholic I will not remarry so I don't really need a divorce for anything.
And I don't want to be the one asking because that's a tactic WH has used all his life in order to avoid responsibility.

So basically that's my situation. Dr. Harley told me he didn't have much hope. He thought it was more of a "mistress" thing than an affair. I KNOW that OW is a predator, from her own words. She's been heard to say "get an old man with money" like she did. Typical. A cliche. And he fell for it even though we had talked of situations like those many times.

The devastation for our families is huge. But there is nothing I can do except not contribute to making it worse, standing up for marriage and faithfulness hoping that my daughters (21,21 and 19) will get the right message.

I hope to use the knowledge that I have acquired to help others but that is difficult because the texts and even this forum are all in english and this is a spanish speaking country, so I can't use any of it. Reading other people's situations is very important.

have you evr listened to Dr. H? I find him fascinating to listen to.

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