My wife and I have been maried for three years. We married very quickly and did not take the time to prepare ouselves for the jouney. We had very different opinions on sex. Important to me not so much to her. I failed to make her understand where sex was on my list. I made some mentions to her about what I wanted but I failed to comminucate effectively. I felt that she did not care about my needs so I made the mistake and stepped outside of my marriage. More out of frustration and ignorance than anything else. I ended the affair on my own but she found out through my diary. We made it through that time but we never really addressed the issue and continued on. What happened was she began to police me unbeknown to me. When she discovered anything I was quilty before I said a word. We had two confrontations over this after my affair. One was recently involving a lady that I met and talked to very briefly and discontinued communication with to avoid this situation.

Unfortunately, she had reached her wits end and she wants some space to get her mind clear. I have tried everything to show her that I would like to really focus on our issues so that we can be happy. She's been planning to move out for four months but we are still living together. We don't sleep together and there is no affection between us. What I dont understand is that we still cook for each other, we go out, we watch movies together but she refuses to try any options to work on our marriage.

I have just recently found this website and I have read many articles here. I love the hope and the inspiration that comes from the discussions. I guess i'm just looking for some insight. I'm having a hard time letting go and I can't concentrate at work because I feel like i'm out of balance. I keep trying to talk to her but I know i'm making things worse. I just not sure what to do. I appreciate any feedback. Thanks.

Btw I have posted this on another thread. But there seems to be more traffic here.