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Hi,
I thought I would start a new post to get some opinions on whether this is Plan B or Plan G for gone.....

Most of you have probably seen the above thread and my story, 6 months of Plan A has got me nowhere, I see her 2-3 times a week and sometimes she can be very loving. She swears she wants to be with me and not the OM but she stays living with him but just needs "time"

So anyway it is time for Plan B, but for career and money reasons I need to go to the UK for at least 3-4 months maybe longer so 7000 miles away if the WW stays here which I think she will...

I am so scared to lose her completely, but I know the chances of her leaving him anytime soon while here and in Plan A are near to impossible.

SO basically I know what I need to do but is it Plan B or with the distance will that be it, finished?

Her friends interestingly have said to me once a few months ago when I found out and once yesterday when I mentioned going to London that I was clever to do that and she would follow me. I dont know why but thats what they have said.

Anybody got any experience with long distance Plan Bs, do they ever work or is it Plan C D E F G etc... :-)

""if the WW stays here which I think she will...""

Spike, my friend, why do you continue to think she will stay?

Her friends are leaving, correct? YOU are leaving and taking all your support, validation, and $$$ with you.

Her friends say you leaving is clever of you! They say she will follow.

They, as we here in the halls of MB, see you in a much brighter light than I think you see yourself.

Being a BS can be very emasculating (for the boys)and the BS's self esteem going right down the toilet. So I don't think you think that highly of yourself right now. I know I didn't when I was in those shoes.

So you really believe your WIFE will rather stay with this loser, of whom she refers to as a sh*t, than to go back with you, her HUSBAND?

I still think you should set the date for your departure, let her know that she is welcome to join you. Then at the appointed time you get on the plane and go. If she does not follow you do PLAN B, with the letter and the whole 9 yards. Until she emails you asking for a one way ticket back to the UK.

Also remember plan B is more about healing the BS, healing you. To get away from the drama and heartbreak of the day to day rollercoaster crap she puts you through.

AND WHERE DID THIS COME FROM??.....""but for career and money reasons I need to go to the UK for at least 3-4 months maybe longer""

3 or 4 months??? And then fly right back to the black hole that you are in now?? I bet once you are back in the UK, involved and productive, your outlook will be much different.

Remember what Bob Pure said to you way back when he said "What would you do if you weren't scared?" Or something like that.

Stop being scared. SUCK IT UP AND GET ON WITH IT!

kirk

Your plan B will be better by leaving. Distance will make it more effective, because it will be easier for you to stick to it.

Besides, what other choice do you have? Do you want to keep doing what you're doing now? You know that won't work.

I don't really know your situation, but it seems like the perfect opportunity. Take it.