Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 27
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 27
Hi!
Two months ago, I discovered my husband’s 6-month infidelity with a coworker and I’m devastated. As you all know, feelings of pain, anger, resentment and even love play out at different times in what’s become an unbearable roller-coaster.

When I’m angry and thirst for revenge, I plan all sorts of things to do to my husband and OW (they're not longer seeing each other... that's what he says...). One thing I think a lot about is contacting OWH to make him aware of the exemplary wife and mother he’s wasting his life with. The thing is… they have two kids, and that’s the only thing that actually stops me from making the final move (I have a letter ready, I know their phone and address, it’s just a matter of making my mind).

Nothing would make me happier than seeing her go through at least a bit of what I’ve had to endure … but I’m not sure I could have peace of mind knowing that their kids would have their share of suffering as well.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,037
You owe it to him to tell him.

You should have done it immediately upon discovery.


I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
Telling him would help save both your marriages. Once it's out in the light, there's less chance for the A to continue, or start up again. So you'd be doing everyone a favor, despite the hardship.

Have you read the rest of the material here on what to do?

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 27
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 27
Thank to al of you for your advise.
Catperson, what do you mean by whether I've read the material here on what to do? what material are you talking about? is it specific to how to reveal the truth to the other person's spouse?

Thanks!

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
Yes, there are 'rules' to follow on how to deal with an affair, based on Dr Harley's experience. Start reading all the articles and links you can find here regarding affairs. It will help you to learn how all the people who have experienced this before you have found the best way to achieve success. I'm not sure how specific it gets, but after reading, you can post here what you think you should do, and the experts (veterans) can tell you if your plan will work or not, and offer advice on how to tweak it.


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 706 guests, and 73 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
vivian alva, Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson
72,027 Registered Users
Latest Posts
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,523
Members72,028
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0