Hi!
Two months ago, I discovered my husband’s 6-month infidelity with a coworker and I’m devastated. As you all know, feelings of pain, anger, resentment and even love play out at different times in what’s become an unbearable roller-coaster.

When I’m angry and thirst for revenge, I plan all sorts of things to do to my husband and OW (they're not longer seeing each other... that's what he says...). One thing I think a lot about is contacting OWH to make him aware of the exemplary wife and mother he’s wasting his life with. The thing is… they have two kids, and that’s the only thing that actually stops me from making the final move (I have a letter ready, I know their phone and address, it’s just a matter of making my mind).

Nothing would make me happier than seeing her go through at least a bit of what I’ve had to endure … but I’m not sure I could have peace of mind knowing that their kids would have their share of suffering as well.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

You owe it to him to tell him.

You should have done it immediately upon discovery.

Telling him would help save both your marriages. Once it's out in the light, there's less chance for the A to continue, or start up again. So you'd be doing everyone a favor, despite the hardship.

Have you read the rest of the material here on what to do?

Thank to al of you for your advise.
Catperson, what do you mean by whether I've read the material here on what to do? what material are you talking about? is it specific to how to reveal the truth to the other person's spouse?

Thanks!

Yes, there are 'rules' to follow on how to deal with an affair, based on Dr Harley's experience. Start reading all the articles and links you can find here regarding affairs. It will help you to learn how all the people who have experienced this before you have found the best way to achieve success. I'm not sure how specific it gets, but after reading, you can post here what you think you should do, and the experts (veterans) can tell you if your plan will work or not, and offer advice on how to tweak it.