Oh, man. I love memories like that. I wish I could pull up one for Valentine's Day.

I went in for physical therapy yesterday, and my therapist (who has heard my whole story now) said "Well, I was going to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day, but maybe Bah! Humbug! would be more appropriate." Pretty much summed it up for me.

Today is better. Glad to hear things are good for you!

The basketball season is over! We lost to the undefeated league champ last Friday night but played well. The boys scored 28 points in the 4th quarter in a pretty furious but ultimately futile rally. We finished 3rd in league (my beard is safe!) with a 14-5 record. I get a couple weeks off and then we start the work for spring and summer.

I have received a few calls and messages from the parents of another high school that want me to apply for their head coaching job. I have coached almost all of their freshman and sophomore girls in the program. They had a BAD year and the new coach quit midway through the season. What a squeege. The JV coach took over but he really is not qualified and lost every game from then on.

DD20’s season ended as well. Her team was a few games below .500 but I think she did a great job considering her talent and attitudes on that team. She was transferred to a new store at work and is getting promoted so she is feeling pretty good right now. School seems to be going great too. We had a nice dinner last night. She has yet another boyfriend but I really like this kid. He might last 2-3 weeks!

Got on the bathroom scale this weekend and realized the infidelity diet is really over! Hopefully I can work a few pounds back off with the back yard garden and patio projects I have on the board. A lot of plants are already peeking up around the mulch.

Amazing to think where I was at this time last year! Someone here posted to me a year ago that I had no idea how well I would be doing right now. Must have been “Betrayed Nostradamus”.

Not much news overheard from Mordor Springs. DD says Wayzilla is pretty short and cranky when they do talk. It seems she is the one who goes to Gollum’s lair every single weekend and at least half the time is a babysitter for a 3-year old. DD told me she has now had two accidents with her new car since the divorce. The Karma Bus does have a sense of humor. Since the divorce was final she:

- Bought a 50-year old house in a redevelopment zone with a map of her home on the city web page under the bulldozer treads.
- Her bonus buy used refrigerator crapped out in the first month.
- Her neighbor ran over her chain link fence with a backhoe.
- She has had two accidents with her new car and ongoing brake problems.
- Her company closed the Mordor Springs facility and is struggling to survive.
- She gets to travel 145 miles round trip each weekend to baby-sit and lap dance.
- She had some kind of “wonderful news” at Thanksgiving that apparently evaporated.
- She didn’t feel “Chrismassy” last year for some reason.
- She spent Valentine’s Day alone.
- She seems to be stressing her finances.
- Her daughter barely talks to her or sees her.

I wonder if this was the plan? She told me she had a plan. If this is it she needs a new planner.

Cheers to all from the dark side of former planet Pluto.

Good morning, chris!

The opportunties just keep comin' for you, don't they? Good for you!

Glad to hear that DD20 is doing well, too. Onward and upward!

Those waywards - they have quite the brains for planning and reasoning, don't they? The cleanup of the messes they have made for themselves will go on and on and on.

I haven't heard much more about WH financial difficulties and he did pay CS this month. However, Bab's is receiving notices at her BH's house that her doctor bills are headed for collection and her BH got a call from her auto insurance company that her new Jeep is no longer covered.

Poor thing......NOT!!

Fox

Dear Wayzilla

Good, but not quite big enough somehow. It needs to be a Godlike Nelson whose voice reverberates and shatters windows and stuff.

Ah Chris,

Your talent for description of Mordor Springs is amazing! The icing on the cake coming from BC! Nice guys!

I aspire to the land of peace you are maintaining on the dark side of Pluto. I'm getting there slowly.

Kudos to you, my friend on everything you have built for yourself!

So,,,,are you going to go for the new coaching opportunity?

Hey Bugs Bomb!!

I got a call from a couple of parents from the other school where they want me to coach their girls team yesterday wanting to get together tonight for a couple beers. I assume they will make a pitch. Here in Colorado, parents are about 30% influential in coaches getting hired and 97% influential in coaches getting fired or quitting.

In truth I am pretty convinced I will stay with the program I am at and coach my boys next year at the JV level. I owe the head coach a lot for how much these past months have helped me in my adultery/divorce personal recovery “gig”. If this was a year later, well….maybe. It is very nice that people have that kind of thoughts and confidence in me.

On the Wayzilla front, I got a letter in the mail from her yesterday. Inside was the registration and tags for DD20’s car. For whatever reason, the Post Office decided to forward it to her at bulldozer barn. The registration portion visable through the envelope window was in both our names. She never opened it but wrote on the envelope, “Please get this corrected.”

When we had the final settlement it was agreed we would retain joint ownership (she did not want me to “win” the car and I was not giving DD’s car to a wayward) of this vehicle until DD was DD21 and capable of all the monetary requirements of vehicle ownership. In the meantime I have carried the insurance and registration fees and unfortunately much of the maintenance for DD.

She probably thought that it was the registration to the POS Subaru she signed to me and that I was too confused, wanting and helpless without her to get the title reassignment (that I got 8-months ago).

So…..I took out the registration and tags and returned the envelope she wrote on with the following note:


To clarify, I understand that by “corrected” you now desire to be removed from the title of DD’s Focus.

I will make the title available to DD so that she can obtain the necessary title signature from you required to relinquish ownership of the vehicle some time in the near future.


This should be a real test for her. Someone who never admits to making any mistakes must either admit her mistake or sign the vehicle over to me.

HA HA – Nelson

By the way, it is interesting to see how much Wayzilla’s handwriting and signature has changed over this past year. I don’t even recognize it when I see it now. Has anyone else ever noticed this?

You could also add this P.S.:


P.S. FYI: There is also now an additional PITA charge for transfer of the title under the new "WWSK" statute.

(PITA= pain in the [censored], WWSK= WW suc*)

Oh well, what the heck was I thinking? I pulled the letter out of the mail and discarded it. In a year it won't matter anyway and it would only encourage Wayzilla to make icky-pukey-nasty contact. That would cut into my sock drawer reorganization time, plastic fork inventory and other more important efforts. Why bust up a near perfect Post-D Plan B?

I read Lexxy's excellent post directed at Eye's WW and can see Wayzilla's future in so many of her descriptions. It is a terrific post. Sad too.

Sorry for the interruption. Back to the dark side.

Had a great dinner out with DD20 last night. She is doing very well. I bought her a full tank of gas when we were done and I think she was more pleased with that than dinner.

Afterwards I went to help a friend who is entering a spring basketball league with sophomore and freshman girls. I taught them the fundamentals of the motion offense I ran this year with the boys and they were very, very impressive. They picked it up much faster then the boys did and asked a lot of good questions. At the end one girl (a freshman who scored 255 pts on her varsity team!!!) said, “Wow, I wish we had run this. This actually makes sense.” The girls really are smarter than the boys at this stuff. The girls want me to stick around and help coach the team for the league. I probably will.

I decided to go ahead and at least talk to the school that will have the head girl’s coach opening next week. This made several parents there very happy. I doubt they will offer me the job though with only one year of high school experience but it does not hurt to look at the opportunity. I still have my JV boys next year if it does not work out. That boy’s team will probably be very good.

DGS and I took a 6.5-mile hike last Saturday and then got dressed up and went out to a Jazz club. Very fun. At 12:30 we got the trio to play the In Crowd and the last people at the club got into it just like Ramsey Lewis’s original 1966 live recording in DC. It was pretty cool.

The divorce has been final 9-months today. No new Wayzilla sightings. DD has only seen her Mom two times since Christmas. How strange.

The Rat Pack is on the boards today! I spotted Foxy, and guy, and now you. Must be something in the water. Oh well, back to my pipettor tip arranging...

Well just be sure to position the pipettor tip at least 5mm above the Petrifilm plate while dispensing. You don’t want to contact the plate and get a bubble in the viscous sample.

Arranging pipette tips. . . now that's about my speed today! Or maybe washing NMR tubes.

And, glad to hear that DD20 is doing well. She's a great girl who deserves better from her mother. I hope she gets it some day.

I have really enjoyed the Forgiveness thread this week. I really do want to reach a point someday of reasonable forgiveness so I can at least look back on the best of our 26 year with the appropriate fondness it deserves. Reading everyone’s input truly gives me a tug to try to work harder towards that and how much more complete my self recovery healing will be if I can get there. I do know that I can only go so far as I will never receive any regret or repentance from Wayzilla but it seems a worthy goal. It does not change my current stance however that I am in Plan B for the rest of my life with Wayzilla.

That’s why this place and these people remain important to me still. The personal recovery process after the death of a 26 year marriage is challenging to say the least. I simply would not be doing as well as I am without all the perspectives and collected wisdom here.

DD20 and I had our weekly dinner date the other night and had a great time. We were at the restaurant for over 4-hours talking and laughing. She is doing pretty good and growing up fast now. Again, boys seemed to be the major topic. Yuch. I prefer basketball but what can a mother do?

We touched on the things that were, the things that are and the things that will never be and for a couple minutes she teared up a little. I encouraged her strongly to start contacting her Grandfather (Wayzilla’s dad) who is really getting to the final end of some serious heath issues. I don’t want her to carry any regrets because of her Mother’s immoral choices.

DD has still only seen her mom twice since Christmas and they only talk on the phone every 3-4 days. DD initiates about 5 of every 6 calls made.

On one of those calls recently Wayzilla told DD that she and Gollum are “actively looking” for ranch property down around Mordor Springs. Of course she has no money to purchase such property so I guess she is relying on Gollum to fulfill her life-long fantasy of having horseys and chickens. It still sounds pretty wayward fantasy-like but who knows. I assume giving DD this info was also to indicate that she believes (or wants DD to believe) she and Gollum are long term and certainly implies marriage down the road. Cue the Hindenburg!

Oh, and Wayzilla told DD she was looking into buying an Audi (right, like she can afford an Audi). That made me laugh out loud and DD looked at me funny wondering why. I told her about the survey I read from a German Car magazine that identified Audi as the #1 car (41 %!!!!) owned by the cheating wives who responded. She laughed too and said she would never look at a woman driving an Audi the same again. Oh in case you care, people driving GM products don’t seem to cheat very much according to the survey. Watch out for BMW’s!

Have a great weekend MBers!

Well, I have a Scion tC. Teenagers and midlifers who never got to own a sports car as a teenager own those, but no cheaters, as far as I'm concerned. The car is not expensive, and the one's you've mentioned so far, ARE, so I can't AFFORD to be a cheater, apparently.

On forgiveness, well, I don't know if it's my place to forgive PWC. It IS my place to not dwell, to let go the anger, and to heal. Just my perspective. Every time I define what forgiveness is to me, I see someone asking for it, in my mind, and I don't see PWC doing that, ever.

I sure hope that DD20 and WZ will heal their relationship someday. It's going to be very difficult, to say the least. DD20 witnessed one of her parents being flogged nearly to death by the other, not to mention her own pain over the break up of her family. No matter how old you are, that's gotta hurt. She's got a lot to let go of.

Good to read you, Chris. Have a MAHVELOUS day!

I drive an 11-year old Subaru wagon. Not exactly a chick magnet.

I hear you loud and clear on forgiveness SL. At times its very definition seems to exist in a fog of its own.

But I do feel there are levels of forgiveness. It is going to take a long time but I would like to pursue it at least as a goal. Forgiveness is absolutely not necessary, but I think it will help in personal healing. If not speed it up, at least make it more fulfilling. Hey, all I got is time so why not?

Finally a topic I can pipe in on.

What's up Amigos, just steppin out to say hi

I drive a GMC Sierra, so sounds like I'm a pretty safe bet

On the forgiveness thing, been thinkin alot about it since the divorce is just a few weeks away, mid april sometime

realized I still have a lot of love for her, realize we are 2 completely different people that probably should have never been together, so will probably never be together again

she's been steadily covering herself in tatoos and piercings, which just ain't me, plus she's still with OM2

so no interest in ever getting her back, but have finally found a place I want to be with her

don't think I've fully forgivin her, but I'm really at the point where I see us moving foward seperate but together with DS, not dwelling on the past at all, not tryin to be her friend either, just happy where we've gotten with this mess, it seriously could have been a lot worse

I still see a lot of bumps in the road for some of my Amigos, I wish you all the peace and happyness we all deserve

Take it easy peoples

Hi Chrisner! and all. Betrayed Cajun....that's me! LOL. Geaux Tigers. Mais chere, how come dat?

I don't believe in buying new cars....especially not Audis. I drive and old 'stang...but I can put the top down on gorgeous spring days like we've had this week and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world!

chrisner....I'm so glad you stuck around here....I still just love reading your stuff....I think I've mentioned before that you "missed your calling". You should be a comedy writer. Your wife is crazy for leaving....beauty fades....humor lasts forever. My H was pretty....but I married him because he was funny.

Oh and hey....what do you think about all these new toys?

I'm driving a black Honda mini van and am proud of it!

Chrisner, you're an inspiration on personal recovery and I hope my DD5 grows up to have as good a relationship with as you share with your DD20.

I see myself doing as you do with all three of mine.

Forgiveness is indeed a process, but I've come to understand that forgivness isn't mine to give but that of a higher power. All I can do is as silentlucidity said which is make the conscient choice to just let go of conflict.

It's a good thing to finally get to a point where you know it's better to simply not argue about something that is trivial in the big scheme of things.

Your dissertation on a WW's obsession with sippy cup cleanliness is a good example of the trivial things that one just needs to let go of.

Thanks so much for your contributions to this board.

You've made me laugh a lot since you've come on board.