Hi USB,
I can only imagine your pain....
YOU deserve so much better!
I have read all your past posts and feel your pain and your struggles. Your best friend. Your husband. You have been dealing with this for a long time.
When an Affair happens in a marriage it is a horrible horrible time in one's life. The longer it goes on the harder it is on the betrayed person. In this unfortunate case, that is you.
It really is now all about you. You need to realize how valuable and how special of a person you are and how you deserve so much better. Gather every little bit of strength you have.
It is the only way I know.
Do a great plan B! Stick to it! Go very very dark! Grow yourself, give yourself hope. Hope! Hope!
Stay away from him and don't communicate with him in any way. He can only make you feel bad and then you will dwell on the bad.
Going dark will give you some sense of peace and you will think more clearly. It will give you direction. You have needs as well. They are important, don't look to him filling those needs for you. It is poison. It really is. It really really is. You have to start somewhere. Do a really really good Plan B. Determine how long you will do a really good Plan B. Then follow your plan. I mean follow it with conviction.
While in the Plan B start to do positive things for you. Work on yourself. Take little steps every day even when you don't feel like it. You will be proud that you did. And it builds on itself. Start small. It really does work. It works your mind and gives you hope.
You can't wish him into loving you, you can't make him love you, he has to want to love you. You and your family are the only one's you can really count on. Do it! Start! Be committed in your plan! Its your only way out of the pain you are in.
You just don't deserve this. I can tell by how you write and the words you choose. You are a great person!
