Hi there everyone,
I am new to this site. I think it's a fantastic outlet and makes me feel like I am not alone.
I will try to keep my story brief and to the point.
I've been married going on 14 yrs and just recently over the past few months my husband has been letting me know in dribs and drabs that he is unhappy in our marriage. I took this as a complete shock because he has never said such a thing. He has done a complete 360 in his ways. He is nasty to me and when i ask him why he says it's in retaliation to the way that i treat him. I admit that i can be mean and nasty at times, but I truly love my husband and i want to change. i tell him this and he doesn't believe that i can. I am extremely stressed with the day to day of taking care of my kids, work and the house that he just doesn't get that when he comes home, I need a break.
Anyway, he has left the home. I have two children and he comes home on the weekends to see them. He has a great life right now because he doesn't have to deal with "his life" during the week and has to once the weekend comes. When he is here, i don't give him any grief and don't want things to escalate any further. but his coming and going has to stop and i don't know how to do that. everyone keeps saying, you've got to be strong. it's hard and i am in a deep depression. i have two children to think about, a house to take care of and the finances. He is living on his own and having a great time. He said he left because he feels that he has no other choice at the moment because he has to get away from me. But in turn, nothing is getting resolved. We recently started seeing a marriage counselor. When he first told me he was leaving he told me that he still loved me, didn't want a divorce but he has to do this to get his head straight, yadda yadda. He was first very adament about going to see a therapist he said i was the one with the problem and i need to change. But now agrees that it's a good idea. But i still have this feeling that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I feel hopeless.
I also suspect, nothing proof positive that there is a co-worker at work that is there for him emotionally. nothing rock solid about what exactly is going on, but his cell phone never stops ringing. which is not uncommon, but more so now. Work-related he says........yea right. the trust factor is gone because i don't believe a word he says. if he wanted to make this work, he would be home making every effort. the more i try, the worse it is. he says i need to change, but i don't know how or what he wants. i have to be a complete idiot to believe that there is nothing going on with this person at work. never in my life did i worry about his job and what goes on there, but it's all i think about. why would he come home to me when he's got something new and exciting at his job that thinks he's the cat's meow. and when i confronted him about this person, he says nothing is going on. I feel like I am married to a complete stranger.
Any input would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading.
