How do I Watch/Bookmark/etc... a thread???

:eek: heh.

Look at you, loving the new emoticon choices. Woohoo!



Okay, to watch a thread....go to MyStuff and click on My Watchlists in the drop-down menu...then you'll see where you can watch forums, topics and users. There will be three tabs at the top for each of these...and you can change your view, accordingly.

I'm gonna be out of pocket until Sunday...good to know you're reading and posting. Listen to your heart a bit and see if there's anyone who you can post to...I think it's been one of the things missing in your personal recovery.

Then again, what do I know?



LA

Don't ask me why, but I think emoticons are cool. They're cartoony, artsy... fun... I don't know. I like them.

WW seems to be taking things harder lately... not that I'm minding her business. She says things though. That elude in obvious ways that "I can't be trusted." and "she's been through too much." and it always leads up to her seriously asking with a smile and a laugh if I'm "ready to sign those papers yet." She said it all in front of DD last night. It was an awkward moment... standing in front of DD and having WW holding me accountable for things I'd done in the past that we had gotten through, and things I'd done recently that I know she hasn't moved beyond. DD I could tell was bothered by all of it. I was fumbling words, things were coming out wrong... I tried to listen and repeat when I started bombing and she kept going. All casualy, like it was all obv. to me that I'm a cheater and a liar and have always been no good. Like I should see things the way she does and no that there is only the one obv. outcome. Sign the papers, take that step to free her and spare her from her pain. I won't do it. I believe with everything that I have that we have a shot at getting through this and that I should hang on to that. I have this feeling that she's teetering... unable to file the paperwork, but in that self induced trap where I was... where you feel like things are so insane that you can't take it anymore. You're like a stick holding a giant boulder back and then... snap... and the rock starts rolling and crushes you and everyone in it's path. I don't know... that it bothers her this much tells me that she really truly cared, and very well still does. I almost think she wants me to help her... is begging for me to, but can't ask unless it's to ask for what she wants and not what I can give her. Not that what she wants would necessarily help anyway. I felt like she was dying to reach out to me last night, but too afraid to do it. Like she would have hugged me and cried if she could have.

DD saw what was going on. She started telling me goodnight and saying that it was time for me to go... an 8 year old, smart enough to try and trick her Daddy into leaving to fix the situation. Amazing. Love that kid. To pieces.

Is there anything I can do? Should do? I feel like I should have tried to hug her last night. That seemed like the answer at the moment... or maybe I was picking up a vibe from her? or I should have done something. It just felt right to try and do anything, but I threw the moment away wondering what was right. I know it was because I was afraid. Of making it worse. Of not knowing how to make it right. Afraid that maybe I wasn't seeing things clearly and was going about everything all wrong. I'm not quick on my feet when it comes to thinking under pressure. I over analyze, debate with myself, and then start to stumble because I'm unsure of myself. It's worse with this situation too. I'm still pressuring myself over this. Not to the extent that I was 2 years ago... I'm not flipping out like that now... but it's still not coming naturally... easy. I've made improvement. OBV! but I've got work to do... and when she DJ's me, I sometimes get offended and act that out, or sometimes am hit with the reality of what I've done and pick up a sense of hopelessness. Still hanging onto the idea that I have to make the marriage work. That's been the hardest thing for me to try and let go. It seems I haven't been able to shake the feelings that I get over not having control over her part in in our being together. I tell myself I don't want to control her decision. I know I don't have control. and I know I don't want it... but wanting the marriage to work to the point where I'm afraid it won't seems to have me playing the part of the control freak anyway.

I've been trying for quite a while now not to cling to that. I haven't had much success that I've seen though. I either find I'm fooling myself into thinking that I have, until I see her again and then I know. Or I find myself pushing and tearing myself away... and then getting angry or by being angry and that's not helping me at all and I know it.

I feel like I should be talking to her more. I'd like to be able to have a handle on myself and how I am. I always think I do, until I'm put to the test... and that's when I come away knowing I'm still climbing that hill, trying to get to the otherside. Forcing myself to my goal isn't getting me there. I'm just running in circles. I haven't found a way to let go of the fear of not being with her. That would be a big step. A huge step... I know what it's like to be able to do it. The idea is there, the feeling of having done it before is there... I just don't know for the life of me what is holding me back from taking it??? I'm using anger as a shield. I'm hiding safely behind my progress. I've buried myself under hopelessness and guilt. I really haven't found the way to acceptance. I'm still pushing through the brush, and haven't quite made way to the edge of that jungle yet. I know that the way out is there, but I haven't found it. I'm still too caught up in thinking that we were meant to be together, that this canbe fixed, and that I need to make what I've done right.

I made a post once where I said that it keeps coming back to this. Looks like I'm making it again. This time I'm not frustrated about it though. This time I'm saying all this... because I know. I see what's there. See the truths, and my fantasies. I'm standing at point A, and I see point B. I'm not beating myself up because I'm not there yet.

I'm wondering what it is that keeps holding me back. Why if the answers are so obv., why have I not done more? or is there more to do? am i running out of answers, things to try? I feel like I'm chained to the idea of this having to work. I really want it to with all my heart... and wanting it feels right. It compels me to come here and learn and tells me it's ok if it doesn't work out. That I tried and loving her just the same regardless of the outcome is ok, but if it works out then that's ok and everything is ok because regardless I'll be ok. That need though... that thing I'm chained to... doesn't feel like I'm chained to my marriage at all. Feels like I'm chained to the actual need for it. The need tells me to be afraid, to be angry, to be uncertain... to tear myself apart and anyone in my way. To manipulate to control. I find myself doing it at times, even when I'm trying not to... or sometimes questioning if I am.

I feel like my need feeds on her emotions, actions, words. but I'm unsure if my need feeds on them, or if they are my need, or a part of it? Thinking about it... I think my need is her. All things her. To be with her, have her accept, to have our life back, to be with my kid through her, to have her be ok. To fix it all. Didn't I already know that though? I guess the question really is... how do I get past this. because I've thought it over alot, and I've found that I'm waiting for two things. The marriage to be fixed, or for it to be dissolved. and I can't guarantee that the latter is going to make any difference. and that's how I know that waiting for those two things is not the answer.

Really. I just know I'm stuck on something. But. I. don't. know. what. I suppose maybe I do though... it's just been a long time coming... and began when I met her, or maybe it has been going on since the day I was born. Gonna take alot of thought to piece this one together. Meh. It'll keep me busy and give my nogin a good workout.

What do you think about the term... "soul mates"? I'm curious. I don't know what I think about that, not that I'm looking to form an opinion based on yours. I guess I'm wondering why I'm so fixated on this other than to say that I love her and DD in a way that I can't begin to describe.

Anyway... I'm going to stop posting for now. My wind has started wandering all over the place and I'll just keep posting and not get any work done if I don't quit now. I'd be babbling on for a while about everything and nothing if I kept going. Random thoughts on paper and all... not a bad thing, but not good for holding a job that actually requires some work to be completed.

You talking about posting here all the things I want to say to her? Thought I'd been doing that indirectly throughout the last two years? and by writing her letters? She's due to receive another one by the end of the week if I can make the time. Thanx... for helping. I'm not sure what it is that is missing... if it's that or what. I feel like it's something more profound than that though. Going with my gut on that one. I don't know. Hoping my senses, my instincts and my sources aren't all misguiding me. You excluded ofcourse.

I'm not cryptic, dangit.

I understood you to say that there are other threads you watch...that you read...and you were wanting to track them, maybe this one as well, in the new layout...

I thought you would finally begin to post to others...because you're reading their thread(s)...

Which would be the part I have felt was missing in your recovery...your advancement...for a long time.

When you share your stuff...you know your stuff better. People teach to learn...students learn to teach.

Share and be shared with...practice your lessons, what you've learned...into habitual communication. You've turned down that request from me more than twice before...

And I'm asking again...believing that's part of your journey as it was mine...doing that here on MB affects how you also communicate with WW, DD...everyone else, as well. Do so on other threads...the one(s) that resonate within you, akin to your journey...if you feel moved to say something...say it.

A missing piece...

Oh, and I'm back, btw.



LA

Oops... sorry, I just misunderstood.

No, that's a cool idea actually! I forget that I can post in just more than this thread sometimes... Over the last two years I've gotten caught up in my own life so much to the point that I've in away forgotten that there's more out there than just what's going on with me. Make sense?

I have had concerns about it previously, posting in other threads... probably still do. The big one being that I don't know my stuff as well as I'd like... and I don't want to lead anyone astray, or post something totally off the wall that makes no sense and doesn't help anyone? Hmmm... I'd really like to do it... I guess I'm tossing it around because I've not always been the best teacher, and my writings on the internet as in real life tend to ramble on and aren't always coherent? Though I don't suppose you'd be making the suggestion if you didn't think it was doable. Time has been my other issue, but I've been thinking that I might be do for another break from posting in my thread anyway?

Meh. I'll tell you what. I'll go ahead and start reading other threads, and stop trolling my own. If I see something that I can post that might help, or just find a place to chime in I might just do it if I find that what I have to say makes sense and doesn't appear to be DJ-ish or anything along those lines. I think you're definitely right in that it possibly could help me out... one of my worries too is that I'll jump into someone elses thread and start going on about my own problems and take away from what they are there for.

I'm not usualy reserved about posting on the net. I came here... I guess this is just serious stuff here, and everywhere else is just the net. Everybody does and says whatever they want on the net. This is different... and maybe I'm afraid of messing up because I take this so seriously. Bah. Pbbbttt. I'll just do it.

Hey... I don't think we can lose threads anymore... w00t.

Woot is correct...no more lost posts...I love not getting the time-out message that I'm no longer valid.

LOL

What if everything matters, btw? What if everything in your life, on the net, is real?

Thinking about not posting on MB? How'd that work for you before?

Have we talked about how you feel being betrayed, btw?

LA

Well the net is real, obv. I see what you mean though...

Lately I find myself occasionally wondering just how much everyone I know accepts me for who I really am? Then ask myself how much I let that carry over into how I present myself to other people? Then I wonder just how much of what I'm thinking at that moment has to do with the situation with WW and how I perceive her to be viewing me as of late? Then I ask myself why it matters, and how come I'm just not myself regardless? Then I question if I'm comfortable with who I am? Then I come to the conclusion that I might not be having all of this inner turmoil if I'd stop worrying about others look at me and just lived my life the way I want to and stop worrying about pleasing everyone. I might actually loosen up and treat people with more alot more respect if I didn't feel so obligated to make everyone else comfortable. Then I realize that I'm trying to control how people feel about me and I think to myself... What am I doing with my life? Time for a change.

That change is coming a little tough though. I find myself going to extremes. Either pleasing everyone alot, or being pretty selfish with my time and looking at everyone else as an inconvenience. Or doing both at the same time. Haven't found that medium... my center... though I know if I had, I wouldn't have to try anymore. I would have already reached my goal. Guess sometimes I get frustrated because I know what it's like to be there, but can't comprehend why I'm not getting immediate results if this something I've previously had. Why isn't like riding a bike? Then I wonder if I'm just that messed up? Then I stop wondering because I know I'm not messed up... and that asking myself that question means that there is just something that is frustrating me... which is that I just don't have the answers, and am pushing too hard for results... I'm not letting all of this come naturally. Trying to control something I don't have control over again... maybe. and again, I'm not sure... so I'll relax for now and take things as they come.

I was thinking that I should take some time to process and think again away from here to digest. You have caught my attention though. I do remember what happened the last time. and I think you are right. I don't think a break from the MB is what I need. I think what would do me some good is to not focus on my own problems, and start helping other people with theirs. Not pleasing, but helping... I could see where that would help me to get rid of some of this "back and forth" I've been experiencing lately. Whether it's been about myself, my family, my friends or especially WW which all comes back to me anyway.

How I feel about being betrayed? Please explain... sounds like something I might want to post about. Just to air some things and get some feedback... I have some ideas, and feel pretty positive about them. Maybe I'm missing what you are saying though.

Still can't figure out how to put a topic on watch...

Oops... It's right in front of me.

Is it possible that I'm digging harder than I need to be? I've always liked being nice to other people, I've always enjoyed helping others, I've always appreciated treating people with respect. So maybe I'm just finding all of these things hard to do because I'm pushing myself too hard... and not doing any of these things for myself (and being focused on WW). I'm sure you've probably already told me this... but it was one of those things that I needed to sink in and kind of figure out on my own. I guess I'll continue to work on stopping the stuff that's got me down, and work on continuing the stuff that'll pick me back up.

You'd think this would be easier? Though I guess these things are never easy.

Taking another break? or waiting for me to post in another thread? I'm actually going to attemp to start doing that today. Work has been busy... we're buying out another company and in transition. Haven't had time for much of this, but I'm trying to make time today.

DD and WW are in Florida. I knew they were going, but didn't know they'd left until a day or two after they'd gotten there and have only received a message saying that they were there, with "no idea of a return phone number and we'll call later..." and they haven't. I missed not seeing them this past weekend... and am a little saddened that I haven't heard from them. Makes me wonder if they don't miss me? I dunno. I'm trying not to think about it, and hoping they have a good time.

Also... if you don't mind my asking... Where would be a good place for me to look around and start posting? Any suggestions?

Thanx!

Not taking another break, nor waiting for you to conform...

however...I sure signed on in a hurry after seeing your post in GQII, didn't I?

Hmmm.

I don't know what I've been doing. Thinking most about first, do no harm. Wondering a lot. Reading. Following. Pondering.

When I don't have a response in me, I don't make them up. So me not posting to your thread doesn't say a thing about you, does it?

Know what struck me in your last couple of posts? That you're stating, not demonstrating. Moreso, at least. You say what hurts instead of acting out your hurt. Am I close?

So when I asked you to share your feelings about you being betrayed...it was a question. An inquiry.

I couldn't remember if we explored it.

Now it seems like you're aware of your own expectations...and you might find some hidden expectations...maybe...I dunno...if you continue to share and not act out.

My hope is your work is a healing distraction...and you're processing your stress in a healthy way...something different than before.

(I liked your post on GQII, btw.)

LA

Ironically enough you did. I didn't necessarily expect that you were waiting for that, but I did somehow have this feeling that if I posted elsewhere you'd show up. Funny how that works?

I wasn't thinking that you weren't posting because of me... or that it had anything to do with me. I guess I just like it when you post. ... hmmm seems I'm using your posts as a security blanket. Afraid of being left to my own devices, or just afraid that I won't have you to guide me through all this? or just afraid? Your posts are a comfort for me. Don't know how to take that. Not going to worry about it. Especially since I've not been posting as much lately and it hasn't been bugging me. I still come back regularly enough though... and that's cool. I'm blabbering.

I'll have to read those posts and check. I know what you mean though. Sometimes when I post I get all worked up and the words just spill and when I'm done I find that I have to actually take a deep breath and calm down. I'm assuming that those must my demonstrative posts... I've been noticing a transition in the way I feel lately, but I hadn't seen it in my writing. Thanks for pointing that out for me!

I m better aware of things than I had been previously. I also find it easier to act on thoughts than it was before too. Before I had the thoughts and the intentions, but not the follow through. I'd get "caught up in a moment" and then after it was over I'd wonder what on earth I was thinking at the time, or during it I would have to literally stop myself because it was like lashing out had become a necessity. Almost like breathing. If I tried to stop, I'd start panicking... like I was going to drown or something. Quite literally it was just like that.

Don't know if we did? 2 years worth of posts... hard for me to remember everything we've discussed. Thanks for all of your time though!

Makes loads of sense! Posting in that other thread was like a breath of fresh air and felt entirely different than posting here. It just felt right, and so did the words. Easier to help someone fix their problems than do deal with my own...?

Meh. Work is not much of a healthy distraction. It's a distraction sure... but I spend alot of my day fielding internet banking customer phone calls, which generally end up being impatient customer complaints... and to be honest it's not a real pick-me-up and get me through the day kind of experience. Good thing I have alot of patience for that sort of thing... though at times it can be a slight downer.

My healthy distractions come when I'm taking a nature walk or hike, or building a Magic deck, or working on my art. Things like that. When I'm doing something that is fun, and working toward something at the same time... That's when I feel most at one with myself and relaxed. Especially on those walks. I have this huge affinity with nature.

Thank you! I liked my post too. Was the information presented accurate? That was my largest concern. To me it seemed right... it didn't come out forced so it seemed right to me. I just want to make sure primarily that I didn't give someone bad advice. I don't want to contribute to the demise of someones marriage or anything like that.

I'll look around and post more when I have time.

Having some issues with something lately? Reading your post, it felt like you were reflecting on things while you were actually posting... ? They say that this part of the internet is devoid of feeling. That it's hard to discern what someone is actually thinking or feeling when they post... so they say. But I find that alot of posts read like a piece of literature. If someone is putting feeling into what they are writing, you can get a sense of that when your going through it. Not by just what is written, but by how as well. Emoticons and punctuation aside.

I'm having an interesting day... just a quick aside. My sister (in her 20's) was out drinking last night, something I don't condone, and somehow wound up wandering and lost in the woods 3/4 of a mile into a nearby State Land area at 1am this morning. It took my brother and I almost 3 hours to find her because she didn't remember driving there. He looked for an hour or so before getting me out of bed at 3am. I still don't know if she found her car, and I combed the woods for an hour at 5am looking for it after having already driven up and down the road for another hour looking there too. Gotta be in the woods somewhere... she knows that she drove it through the woods down a steep bank and got it stuck... but where? So many issues... I'm just glad that we found her and that she's ok. It's good that my brother and I really know the area and are skilled at this this sort of thing... and that she hadn't done something worse. So that's how my day started.

Still haven't heard from WW and DD. That's been on my mind alot. More than anything else lately. I've been letting it go when I catch myself thinking about it... getting carried away and reading into it is not going to benefit anyone regardless of why they haven't called.

DD called last night, and I talked to her today. Apparently they are home, which is cool. WW hasn't made a move to even talk to me. I'm not seeing that as a good sign at all. But, again, I'm leaving that alone.

Short for time today.

Weather is really nice, so I'm going to hike the gorge to the falls tonight at a park near work.

They found my sister's car and pulled it out of the woods with my G-father's tractor. No damage to the car until it got pulled out. Hope she learns from this...

TGIF!

Not much to say lately? Me that is... things seem to be going well, and the weather has been warm so I'm thinking about the outdoors more than anything else for the time being. Didn't so much like that post I made yesterday... I couldn't get the words to come out right and thought about scrapping it altogether... but left well enough alone.

The hours in the office go by so slow in the Summer, and weekends whiz by... The thought of working last Summer's "chump change" (<--- pardon the expression) Seasonal job is pretty appealing right about now. I often wonder if I should reevaluate my career direction... If I'm going to though I should get on it sooner than later like I keep saying I would like to. I just don't know what I want to do about that? I guess I just haven't found the right career choice for myself yet... I should find a test online if I can to see what would fit my personality... hmmm.

Looking around... I think I have the longest thread in MB history? or one of them anyway... Not sure what to think about that?

I'm having a difficult time finding places to post where I could do any real good... ? It seems everything I have to say has already been said, or I find that I just don't know enough to feel comfortable saying it. I'm still looking...

So, I talked with WW last night. Thought things were getting better. Turns out she's taken a step toward getting the paperowrk processed and starts school.

She called and left a message this morning and said that she realizes now that she's doing the same thing that I did to her. She said she's not doing it to punish me, but because this is what she needs to do for her right now... go back to school and that the paperwork is just a means to an end.

I have a rebuttal for that. Already tried it... Hoping this will somehow fix itself, but don't know. It almost looks to me like she wants to do this school thing, get the divorce and have me waiting for her when she gets done.

I don't know how I feel about that, or what my decision would be. I'd like to say that I'd wait... til the day I died if that's what it takes. Somehow that doesn't sit well with me as far as doing what is right is concerned though. I feel like I should be putting my foot down, but don't have the guts to do it. I want to see her go to school... but what about our family, our marriage... and to a lesser extent how I feel and what I want... and so much more importantly DD?

I'm kinda stuck right now. Need to look around for some answers, ideas, suggestions. Need to look inside too, moreso than out even.

This is hard. I'm torn right square down the middle. Part of me tells me I'd be a fool for not waiting. Another part of me says I'd be a fool if I did. My reasoning says that I can't make up my mind because I'm in love and care about my family, but care about myself too. Makes sense to me.

Don't know.

I'll get back to this place with an answer after some soul searching. In the meantime I'll keep trying to post elsewhere... and did you still want to talk about that betrayal issue?

You've been non-existant here in my thread LA. That's cool though! I see you helping other people and I'm glad!

I don't think you have close to the longest thread in MB history...just maybe one of the wordiest.

LOL

Hey, that meant me, too.

Still clutching the outcome, aren't you? Even with posting...wanting to determine for others whether your contributions matter, repeat...or don't. Not posting from your own code...what resonates, what shares who you are, your own experience. Because you have honesty, consideration...connection (your half) in your code.

Hmmm. Acknowledges you feel for others, you believe you understand, have been there and felt that...

You want your posts to heal, correct, change...in order to deem them a contribution?

How does this tie into WW's choice to divorce so she can get funding as a single mom to go back to school? She's choosing to tell your DD, by her own choices, that marriage isn't as important as money. Deception is okay for a good cause. And that the family unit can be together without being together--that marriage is just a piece of paper, and doesn't work in your favor, sometimes.

We discussed how you all living together, without APs, again would work out so WW could go back to school...stop working with OM, and with some concerted elbow grease and focus, you guys could thrive, in honesty, as a family.

She's said many times she's done something with the divorce and then hasn't...her battle with herself...her own choices. You've danced this dance a lot...when you see concrete evidence (and you look for it) that she has progressed on the divorce, state your stuff...

"I know you're choosing to break our marriage to bits in the name of your own education. And I know you know you could do this another way, that I back your dream with you...and will not support you at the cost of our marriage."

Something like that...break the fantasy justifications in your own head...there are no easier ways in life...just wrong ones guised as if they were...

There is no "nobody loses this way" answers in regards to divorce. Everyone loses something. You know that. Live it.

You choose each day to be what you are--married. You are. And have been. Stop living in what if's...not here yet. You cannot say in highest honesty whether or not you'll want to reconcile after she obtains the divorce. And if she doesn't obtain it...well...you remain married, don't you?

Don't borrow on tomorrow's possibilities. Live today and know what you are choosing and living from right now. Tell your DD you do not believe it's okay to break a marriage apart for personal gain. It's fantasy. When one person in the family loses, they all lose. That you're looking out for your marriage...and you've got a plan...

To move back in, hold yourself to healthy boundaries, make it so that WW can go back to school (and NC with any OM)...and be the family you already are...without deception, divorcing or putting anything else ahead of your marriage.

No rebuttal...no debate. WW shared her stuff...her own perspective...and you share yours. Share in highest honesty to yourself...and if you took on her stuff as a bash against you...some kind of frozen suspension...then catch your own DJ, what you do to yourself...because DJs aren't reality...just seem like it.

WW may be sounding like a wishful child...that everything will somehow turn out okay...evading consequences which are giving her bumps of fear right now...and wishing in fantasy eases them inside her...don't go there with her. Respect her stuff separately from your own.

When you say "I don't know how to feel about that"...hear the lie to yourself...we lie in process, too...we feel and don't feel...if you don't know what you think about something...that's a signal it may not be here, today, to be dealt with--might be in the past or the future...and result in mixed feelings because it's not here.

Why not listen and repeat her message in an email or message back to her? You hear her saying she just realized how she is doing what hurt her so much when you did it...that she believed you were trying to punish her...and now that she's doing it, she isn't trying to punish you...just put herself ahead of you as her partner, the marriage and the family.

Say that you hear she's asking you for a clean slate for the marriage...so that she can have both...her dream and the marriage...feel supported, forgiven, partnered and not stay in the loop of sacrifice (sacrificing herself and making others then sacrifice for her)...that you understand...you've been there...

and you wrote her a really long letter about all that you've through.

Do you feel punished by her? Do you think you've been caught in the sacrificing loop, the extreme Giver and Taker in yourself? Do you perceive her reacting to her feelings instead of living by a principle...just as you did previously?

Since you can't actively POJA with a WW...you can still brainstorm, offer alternatives, state you're not enthusiastic...say that you really feel marital history repeating...and your top priority is to live from your principles, to act from them now...and the highest one is marriage for you.

Be helpless in the face of your own boundary...hey, this is the one you've made in stone now...can't cross it...which isn't putting your foot down...you can't cross it. You understand she's willing to cross hers. You see it.

And you know in your gut that no one can be proud of crossing their own boundaries because of self-deception (higher cause) in the end. Like your EA...you get what you want at a great cost to those you love most...not worth it. Not even a little. Means to an end...which ends precious relationships you can't get back.

That's your gut telling you that you've danced this dance with yourself...hard to watch, isn't it? Was hard for your DD and your WW to watch years ago. What do you wish WW had done differently when you were in her shoes?

Then do it.

Not stuck. Confused. The overlap can be messy. Remains true. You still choose your actions and beliefs from your own code. Doesn't depend on what she believes, thinks, feels or perceives, right?

Stop judging yourself fool or not fool. If you have honesty in your code...then you must be honest. If you have respect...then you must act respectfully. If you hold your marriage as your highest priority...then fear doesn't come into it really...you feel it...and act for your marriage, anyway.

LA

(All stuff you already know...a reminder.)

I didn't have something say before today. Been soul-searching myself...you don't have a corner on that market.



There is no try...see your own sigline.



I'm ready when you are to talk about your feelings/thought/beliefs about being betrayed.

And I'm ready if you aren't.

LA