My boyfriend of 7 years is finishing up his undergrad here in NC this may and will be moving to Miami Fl for grad school for 7 years. I too am graduating in May and going into a nursing program. Realizing I can do nursing anywhere, he convinced me to apply to all the grad schools he applied to. We've done the long distance relationship for 4 years when we started college and things were rocky at times but we got through them. Realizing the neither of us want to be 12 hours away from each other for atleast 3 more years we've considered going to the same school or atleast living in the same area. We got into two seperate schools 13 miles apart from each other in Miami FL. The problem is, neither campuses are offering on campus housing. So we are teetering with the idea of getting a two bedroom apt together. Two bedrooms so that we both have our own room since we'll be in school and we want each other to do well. My parents who have been supportive of this relationship and love my boyfriend have given us full support in the idea. Even offering to give a living room set as a grad gift. My dad says he'd rather us live together because it would be safer than tryin to meet people online to live with. He's even flying with us in the next couple of months to look at some places and get a lease signed. We are very strong christians so we are a little weary for many reasons one being the divorce and his family disowning us for living in "sin". His parents are not happy at all for it because they said they did it when they were 20 and "regret" it, saying they were too young. Now we are both 24 and we have talked about marriage. He wants to wait til he's done with school so that we can have the "financial" security to live a great life. He'll be done with his residency and be well on his way to financial freedom and Ill will have 3 years of career experience under my belt. Some of his family have told us that it would be cheaper for us to get a one bedroom apt, saying we're not really going to sleep in our own rooms. We have thought about snuggling on weekends as a treat for hard work during the week. Not knowing what our schedules are going to be like until we get down there. We love each other very much and dont see our futures without one another. Its a lot to think about and I dont know where to start on making a discision on whats best for us. If anyone out there could give some advice on what they think, have been through that would be of great help. I would very much like to side with my parents as it being a great move, but I want to be able to remove all the worries and fears I have. I have found the best way to do that is get advice from all I know and talk it with him. He was the one that wanted to live together in the first place and I got a little uneasy about it. He's still excited even after his parents, but im the overanalyzer and want to make sure we do whats best for us. Not just because its another great adventure.

We've even considered bunking with maybe one or two more roommates but have not found anyone as of yet.

Go for it or wait? multiple choice, up to 2 choices

Go for it (50%, 3 Votes)

Dont do it (50%, 3 Votes)

Total Votes: 6 Voting on this poll ends: 05/14/08 01:29 AM

Statistics show that people who live together have less chance of being happily married.

Millions of people find safe places to live with roommates. The two of you can too.

I've heard Dr. Harley note that numerous studies have been done on cohabitation. They show that the marriages begun with cohabiting partners have a much higher rate of divorce (75-85%).

This is information I wish I would've known before I moved in with my fiance. She convinced me we should live together before getting married (I am also a Christian and was opposed to premarital sex). Now we're separated because of her infidelity.

I recommend reading the book "Buyers, Renters & Freeloaders," which I think is also called "The One," because it explains the attitudes that are encouraged when two unmarried people live together and how it makes things much worse over time.

If you're already comfortable with not sleeping together prior to getting married, then you should be fine with not living together.

I cant understand why you two arnt married

How much time have you two actually spent together in the last four years?

I have been living with my Partner for 8 years. I have been divorced twice. Mainly because I believe Marriage is the only way to go. He told me he was separated when we met and had been for 7years so I assumed he was divorced. I fell in love with him and he asked me to marry him When I said when he said he didnt know because he wasnt divorced. I am 56 years old so there is heaps of history. We have bought a house and are living together. I am not happy over so many things but I just cant get him to talk do the questionaires or anything. What can I do ? Please help.

Miss_Brown, it might be a good idea to start your own thread with your story, to keep it separate from kmledford's thread and not confuse anyone.

Thankyou I am new to this and posted it in the wrong place. I am still learning how to get around the internet

Back to the original poster...

Since you guys have done the long-distance thing for 4 years, I really think diving right in and living together off the bat might be too much. Maybe you could consider getting your own apartments in the same town, so you'd be close enough to get together often, but still have your own space to retreat to when you want?

After a year, if things are still good, you could then evaluate whether you want to continue living apart, move in together, or get married.