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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6 |
I have been with my partner for 8 years he was separated from his wife for 7 before that He says he will get divorced in June when his youngest son turns 18 after reading some of the books and letters on this site I am wondering if it would be better to encourage him to go back to his wife ? She has never married although she had an affair before they split up.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 243
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 243 |
Miss Brown,open thine eyes wide and take a good look around. Just beyond that misty wall you see all around you is a place called," The Real World ".It can be harsh at times living there but I think you will find it preferable in the long run to where you are now; " The Land of Blinders" .
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245 |
He was separated for 7 years before you met him, and you've been together for 8 years? Why would you even ask about splitting up? Is he still in love with her? Are you having problems?
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975 |
Huh???? She has never married although she had an affair before they split up. How could she remarry when they haven't divorced? Am I missing something here. Who
I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03
Recovered
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025 |
Yes, you should send him back.
He was never yours to keep.
Separated or not, he IS and remains a married man which makes your relationship with him adulterous.
If you are a religious person you must know that there will be no unrepentent adulterers in heaven.
Walk away from him and sin no more.
The fact that his wife cheated on him prior to separation (so he says...not really smart to trust a married man trying to get in bed with you) only means he had the biblical right to divorce her. He choose not to. Married is married.
Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6 |
We are now living in separate rooms in the house we both own.
We hardly speak . I have tried to talk about our problems.
I have no where else to go I am retired. This has become the worst relationship I have ever been in . I am feeling very sorry for myself and cant seem to work out a plan to save myself. God hasn't been very helpful except for fixing my computer.
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6 |
I wonder why she never divorced him, I think as I have never been married to this man I am on the wrong web site.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245 |
Catholic?
What are you doing to strengthen the relationship? Are you trying out the MB principles?
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 429
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 429 |
God hasn't been very helpful except for fixing my computer. Now that's service...God never fixes my computer! Sorry, couldn't resist that one.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 858
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 858 |
I wonder why she never divorced him, I think as I have never been married to this man I am on the wrong web site. No, I think you're in the right place. I think you should really spend some time figuring out what you're doing. How your involvment with this man has effected you and his family. As far as God not helping, that's not true. He's told you that marriage is sacred and that nothing good will come by breaking it. You chose not to listen. Not His fault. Maybe if you start listening, then He will be able to help you.
Me 38
Divorced 8/09
DS 10,6
DD 4
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
If it's a lousy relationship for you, get out.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,578
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,578 |
You bought a house with someone who is legally married to someone else? So if he divorces her does that entitle her to a share in your home? No wonder the man isn't enthusiastic about divorcing her.
Me: 56
H: 61
DD: 13 and hormonal
DS: 20
Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8
Happily married 30+ years
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 243
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 243 |
Miss-Brown may have found another web site as she said she might. She was given direction when first she posted here. She paid no attention.
You simply can't put your head into a lion's mouth without being aware that tragedy may be the result of such a choice.
When you 'select' a married man to be 'the man of your choice, there is no quesion but that this forum is the wrong one.
She hasn't posted in a few months. It's difficult to determine how this story concluded.
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