FWH had a LTA and we are about a month into recovery. I have posted on my single thread lots, but nobody seems to be writing back.

I was out of town for the weekend (at my parents) and when I came home (to the H and kids) I have just felt numb. We haven't had time to spend together due to work schedule, but I don't really feel that strong desire to be together. It's not that I mind spending time with DH, it's just that, I don't feel like I care if we do or not at the moment.

Has anyone else had this feeling? I just feel very apathetic about the whole recovery...whereas before I went home for a couple of days, I was very proactive with it. DH is still working hard at it, making time for us to spend together this weekend and checking in all the time. I just don't feel like I care right now.

What is going on with me?

ACT AS IF...DO IT ANYWAY...DON'T BE CONTROLLED BY YOUR FEELINGS!!

Thank you mimi...at least I know someone is reading. I feel like I get little feedback at all here anymore.

I will try to just keep doing what I know I should be doing until the feeling comes back.

Thank you.

htm, I haven't posted I guess cos you have so many threads, I was intimidated on which one to go to. I have limited time to come here, so I tend to go to the threads I remember. Are all your threads in one section?

Yeah, same here.

It MATTERS what you NAME your threads.

I responded because I KNOW you...

But to get the HELP you need, say EXACTLY what you are asking about....

Like..NEED HELP WITH NUMBNESS...I don't know..something like that...whatever your issue is...

When I was in the midst of it, I SCREAMED out with thread names like URGENT HELP NEEDED....

You gotta keep your story on one thread, so that we can follow what is happening and can catch up with what's been going on.

Stop posting on all your different threads and stick with one.

That really will make a difference.

Thank you...I will stick with the one I have. I can't figure out how to rename the main thread now (with the new board format)...it's called Recovery between Work, School, and Soccer? and it's on the General Questions board. I have really done most of my posting there.

When I post a new reply with a new title, it doesn't show up anywhere but if you look at the thread itself.

I have one other thread, but it has become something of a discussion between me and another BS.

I really need and value the support I am finding here. It is such an isolating experience...this is my only real retreat where people understand and I don't have to explain.

Thanks.

May I suggest you bump that thread with an update to you situation?

I remember feeling the same way you are feeling.

I finally got to a point where I felt like it just didn't matter anymore. I had reached the end of my rope and it was time for someone else to just handle it all.

Kind of like being a zombie....just existing. Not going one way or another...not feeling one way or another.

Woke up one day and said.....well....I'm not going to get yesterday back....so I better make the best of the time I have now. H WAS who I wanted to be with....but everything that had gone on had just left me feeling numb.....BUT....I was the only one that could fix that.

I could tell him how I felt..and he could do what he felt he needed to do....but the problem with within ME. So...I bucked and said....this has got to stop. I didn't put all this working into saving it to just ruin it.....and yes....it affected my H when I was numb...and not in a good way...though he never showed it. He ended up feeling like I was giving up.

You have to really REALLY know what you want.
When you figure that out.....you take it...and you run with it.
Don't look back.