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I think it's great! Good for you, Amazin!
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Thank you Lala for your encouragement.
I'm tired of the drama and I want some peace.
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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I usually stay out of the Plan B letter editing threads, so take my advice with a grain of salt. On the whole, I think it looks pretty good. This is not to punish you but to protect me from any continued torture. I would avoid using the word 'torture.' Sure, it's true, but the point of this letter is not to heap lots of guilt on the WS. I am doing this so that I can protect the love that I have left for you and keep it from turning into hate. I don't think you need to tell the WS this. However, I have never done anything to deserve the suffering that you are putting me through. I would take this sentence out for the same reason as avoiding the word torture. I think it's good that you separated exposure from the PBL. I hope the exposure went well.
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OK... One more time... I tried to really re-write this as a love letter this time.
My Dearest Mrs. Amazin,
I remember our courtship and how we met. I remember talking on the phone for hours until you fell asleep. I remember our first date at the square in Ft. Worth and our first kiss. I remember Thanksgiving at your mother’s house. I remember all the paper hearts in our bedroom, in our house and on our cars. I remember how I proposed to you at the Italian Inn. I remember how I proposed to you again for the kids because they were chanting “Ask, Ask, Ask!” I remember our beautiful wedding and our honeymoon in Cancun. I remember a time when you were passionately in love with me and my heart longs for those days to come again.
On our wedding day I made a promise to you in front of God and our family to faithfully love and cherish you, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and in good times or bad. I have kept that promise in the past and I plan on keeping that promise in the future.
I am writing this letter because I want to protect the love that I have for you and keep it from turning into hate. Your extramarital affairs have hurt me deeply and I do not want to see you, talk to you, or have any contact with you from now on.
I have made plenty of mistakes in this marriage and I own every single one of them. I gambled away a lot of money. I was selfish. I made independent decisions about our finances, our family and our life without talking to you or taking you into consideration. I neglected to meet your emotional needs. For all of these and many other mistakes that I have made, I am truly sorry.
I will always regard Step Daughter and Stepson as family. If Step Daughter wants to come over and visit she can call me directly or ask one of my kids and they can ask me. There should be no reason for you to have any contact with me. If there is something that absolutely must be communicated to me, you can do that through my brother. His number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.
I still have hope for us, our marriage and our family. Forgiveness is possible. Regaining the passionate love we once had for each other is possible. Recovery is possible. The answer to all my prayers would be for us to have a happy loving marriage and a blessed family. I am willing to avoid the mistakes I’ve made in the past and create a new life for both of us that will meet your needs. But I can not do that until you end your extramarital affairs once and for all.
I want you to know that there is a way home. There is a pathway to a new marriage. This path would require changes in both of us. If we stray from the path in one direction or the other, our chances for a new marriage are minimal. Together we can create a marriage in which other people of the opposite sex will never ever be an issue. They would have no place in our marriage. We can create a marriage based on honesty on many levels; financial honesty, emotional honesty, honesty about where we are and who we are with. We can have a marriage in which we give each other our undivided attention and our emotional needs are met. We can have a great marriage if we avoid being the cause of each others unhappiness, by making a small lifestyle change and getting some marital guidance. I can only be married to someone who values these principles and who would eagerly embrace this lifestyle.
I hope that someday we may have a new marriage. I want us to be able to meet each other’s emotional needs and to avoid doing anything to hurt each other. We can build a new lifestyle in which everything we do makes us both happy. Then there will never again be a reason for us to separate. I want to be your best friend, someone who is always there for you when you need me. And I want you as my best friend. I loved you the day we were married and I continue to love you right up to this day. I just cannot see you, talk to you, or help you as long as you are seeing other men.
Love,
Amazin
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Can i use some of it for my plan B letter?
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday 
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Amazin,
I think you did a great job with this revision. I'm guessing that since you exposed and were able to take that element out of the letter that it was easier for you to write.
I love the paragraph where you recall the good memories of your marriage. I think this is important for a wayard to hear because they tend to rewrite the history of your marriage and turn it into all bad.
I wish you the best!
BTW this is Victoria38, I changed my screen name because I wanted one that was more descriptive.
BW 38 (me)
FWH 42
Married 7 years
DD 6
SD 15
11-2006 H said he wanted a divorce and walked out
3-2007 I told H I wanted him back
3-2007 to 4-2007 D-day's
4-2007 H moved back in for good
Today-In recovery, but a long way to recovered
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Amazin,
I think you have it...
Might want to wait for input from a Plan B expert or run it by your MB coach (I forget if you've been working with Jennifer or Steve and could look, but I'm lazy, yanno...)
Praying for you, Bro!
Mark
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Yep. I think the opening paragraph is great.
At the risk of nitpicking, the final paragraphs sound a little redundant. It seems like you could tighten the final three into two or maybe even one paragraph, but they're your words, and I think that they are good ones.
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I agree with SD on the redundancy, especially pointing out the extramarital affairs TWICE. I would combine the third to last and last paragraphs in some way.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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Thanks Mark... I appreciate your patience with me. I need it! I pray that God gives me strength, self control and wisdom.
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Posts: 1,541
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Can i use some of it for my plan B letter? Feel free to plagiarize all you want... This is what supporting and helping each other is all about...
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Posts: 1,541
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I agree with SD on the redundancy, especially pointing out the extramarital affairs TWICE. I would combine the third to last and last paragraphs in some way. OK... I'll see if I can wordsmith the last three paragraphs.... Thanks for all the help everyone.
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Posts: 1,541
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Ok... One more time... I just took out one sentence, re-wrote another and re-aranged the paragraphs.
My Dearest Mrs. Amazin,
I remember our courtship and how we met. I remember talking on the phone for hours until you fell asleep. I remember our first date at the square in Ft. Worth and our first kiss. I remember Thanksgiving at your mother’s house. I remember all the paper hearts in our bedroom, in our house and on our cars. I remember how I proposed to you at the Italian Inn. I remember how I proposed to you again for the kids because they were chanting “Ask, Ask, Ask!” I remember our beautiful wedding and our honeymoon in Cancun. I remember a time when you were passionately in love with me and my heart longs for those days to come again.
On our wedding day I made a promise to you in front of God and our family to faithfully love and cherish you, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and in good times or bad. I have kept that promise in the past and I plan on keeping that promise in the future.
I am writing this letter because I want to protect the love that I have for you and keep it from turning into hate. Your extramarital affairs have hurt me deeply and I do not want to see you, talk to you, or have any contact with you from now on.
I have made plenty of mistakes in this marriage and I own every single one of them. I gambled away a lot of money. I was selfish. I made independent decisions about our finances, our family and our life without talking to you or taking you into consideration. I neglected to meet your emotional needs. For all of these and many other mistakes that I have made, I am truly sorry.
I will always regard Step Daughter and Stepson as family. If Step Daughter wants to come over and visit she can call me directly or ask one of my kids and they can ask me. There should be no reason for you to have any contact with me. If there is something that absolutely must be communicated to me, you can do that through my brother. His number is xxx-xxx-xxxx.
I want you to know that there is a way home. There is a pathway to a new marriage. This path would require changes in both of us. If we stray from the path in one direction or the other, our chances for a new marriage are minimal. Together we can create a marriage in which other people of the opposite sex will never ever be an issue. They would have no place in our marriage. We can create a marriage based on honesty on many levels; financial honesty, emotional honesty, honesty about where we are and who we are with. We can have a marriage in which we give each other our undivided attention and our emotional needs are met. We can have a great marriage if we avoid being the cause of each others unhappiness, by making a small lifestyle change and getting some marital guidance. I can only be married to someone who values these principles and who would eagerly embrace this lifestyle.
I still have hope for us, our marriage and our family. Forgiveness is possible. Regaining the passionate love we once had for each other is possible. Recovery is possible. The answer to all my prayers would be for us to have a happy loving marriage and a blessed family. I am willing to avoid the mistakes I’ve made in the past and create a new life for both of us that will meet your needs.
I hope that someday we may have a new marriage. I want us to be able to meet each other’s emotional needs and to avoid doing anything to hurt each other. We can build a new lifestyle in which everything we do makes us both happy. Then there will never again be a reason for us to separate. I want to be your best friend, someone who is always there for you when you need me. And I want you as my best friend. I loved you the day we were married and I continue to love you right up to this day. I just cannot see you, talk to you, or help you until you end your extramarital affairs once and for all.
Love,
Amazin
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Definitely very Jenniferish.
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Hey Amazin......
Did ya miss me???? Looks like you were busy while I was out.....hmmmm....good for you. The letter looks "amazin".....and ya know...with all the growing that you have done, she will definately be the one missing out.....
Hang in there....
not2fun
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So, when are you going to send it? How are YOU holding up? What are your plans for Plan B...do you have everything worked out for no contact with her? Did you go take posession of that car YOU have the title to yet?
Whew...I'm out of breath! lol!
Seriously, you know I think you are doing the right thing. But, I want you to really DO IT and make a statement. Acting differently in the face of this than all of her other men in her past may really make a difference.
Just let go of the things you cannot control. Take care of yourself....
PS--the letter is great!
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Thanks Chai, SDG... You guys have been great!
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Hey Amazin......
Did ya miss me???? Looks like you were busy while I was out.....hmmmm....good for you. The letter looks "amazin".....and ya know...with all the growing that you have done, she will definately be the one missing out.....
Hang in there....
not2fun Of course I missed you! Thanks for the encouragement Not2.
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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