I am going to start looking for a job. I've decided I need the extra money + I need to have something to occupy my time. I am looking at different things. I can't go back into mortgage because, well, mortgage stinks right now. I'm looking for a night job where I'll have my days free to audition.

I took 3mg of Ativan. Everything seems fine right now. No worries until it wears off.

My intermediary emailed me this morning. WS is not happy. Not happy about not being able to talk to me and stuff.

Me, I just feel kinda relieved. He was kinda rude to Intermediary and to my lawyer.

Things are gonna get interesting.

I think I'm going to be filing married single because he doesn't want to send the tax stuff to me.

He's turned into a dork. :eek:

That's very interesting, that he's not happy that he can't talk to you!!!

Hmmm, I wonder if Plan B might be working? If nothing else, it's protecting you, right?

Well if his feelings are hurt because he can't talk to me or email me, that's his problem. He's hurt me enough. I need some time to make myself feel better.

That's right! And you took power away from him!!

Good for you!!!!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! It feels so good when you take your life back from the infidels!!

I am trying so hard to be positive and keep my chin up. I just got a call from an old acting coach and she even said that WS might be in his little perfect world right now, but it won't last. It will come apart eventually.

But today I am switching my bills to my private checking account and trying to get my name off CC's that he is paying. I'm worried about my credit rating.

very wise to switch things over and get your name off of cc's.

how is the nighttime job search going?

mlhb

Niaghttime job hunt is alot harder than I thought it would be. I won't be working at a convenience store because I'm a big chicken and don't want to get shot. But I have a friend who works for the LAPD as a civilian employee and they have night jobs. Which would be perfect for me. Cuz the benefits are awesome.

But I called the temp agency today and they know that I will work short or long term assignments if they pay more than $15/hr.

Atty spoke with WS. WS seems scared. And I don't blame him.

A friend of mine just emailed me a huge job listing .dpf for all of the openings at all of the studios, agencies etc... It would be so great to work at one of the studios.

I have been praying so much and asking for God to lead me to a job opportunity and I really feel like he has by sending David's email to me.

Received a huge sheaf of papers in the mail from the attorney. I have to fill out so much stuff and do inventory and it's over whelming. I may have a friend come over and help me. I don't want to screw it up.

My old acting coach called today. She said that she's glad I got the bible and that I'm doing the right thing. She even said that the OW will eventually leave and WS will be all alone and will finally have a wake up call. And I may not be there to be with him. This is what numerous friends & family have been telling me.

And all of you MB'ers have been a great help too.

Today is job hunting day. We'll see what happens. I hope something pops up.

I am watching LOTR: The 2 Towers. I want one of those flying dragon thingy's. I would fly it to AZ and fly over WS new rented home and let the dragon torch it.

Sounds evil and mean, but I have moments where if he were around, I could probably stomp on him. Just like that big tree did to that Ork.

Can you tell I'm annoyed tonight?

'bout time!

Keep up the attitude of "you deserve better"! cause you do!

I can't believe how much paperwork I have to fill out. I have to inventory everything I own. I don't remember all of the stuff that I have in the storage unit in AZ. Just looking at all this paper makes my heart beat so fast.

I bought a beginner yoga dvd at Target that is supposed to enhance relaxation with breathing and meditation. It's 30 min's. I'm gonna try it before bed tonight.

I called the temp agency and told them I am ready to work. But to give me 24 hrs notice. And nothing less than $16/hr. Short or long term.

My evil thought of the day: Sending OW & WS a bouquet of dead flowers as a housewarming gift.

Dead flowers are far too nice a gift. How about the manure they grow them in?

Why waste time on them at all? They aren't worth it.

You're exactly right Charlotte. I have been wasting less and less time dwelling on him and the situation. I find that I am able to go hours without it being on my mind. I get going on something else, like my acting and my agent search and I can work on that for hours. Going dark and not speaking to WS has been much easier on my emotionally and physically.


Oh jeez...there is a squirrel fight in the tree outside my big living room window. Cat is going insane. She's got herself smashed against the window and she's chirping and her tail is whipping back & forth. She has watched that squirrel for 2 years now and still doesn't understand that she can't get through the window to it. That and the squirrel is almost as big as she is. He'd probably kick her butt.

We were supposed to file our taxes jointly this year. He threw a fit and said to file married, filing separatley. Well my friend did my taxes that way & I'd have to pay big time. Which since it's community property he would be responsible for too. So my intermediary called & emailed him about this. So he's finally agreeing to go get our taxes done jointly. Together we shouldn't have to pay in.

He makes me crazy. Yesterday was one big panic attack because of this. I really think he enjoys being a jerk.

That's too funny! That must be how it is for some waywards who are being subjected to Plan B. They try and try and try to get to the BS but the glass (Plan B) is so thick that the WS isn't bothered and goes on their merry way. (I know, corny analogy.)

No, good analogy. But right now, I've got double-paned storm windows between me & WS. Not having to talk or deal with him has been so helpful to me. I can actually relax a little bit.

My commercial acting coach said that I need to practise smiling more and to have a smile in my voice. So that's what I'm doing. He said eventually it will just be there. I won't have to even think about it. So that's what I'm doing. Practising my smile.

Note to self: Do not listen to any more Mariah Carey or Celine Dion CD's. They make you cry. Don't cry in the car, people stare at you at stop lights.