different interpretations i guess.

i don't get that from him.

mlhb

I don't think Digits did move out on this family. They still live together I think. The wife is moving out with the kids.

Digits, I understand you want to finish school, and I told you before that I support that. BUT, you need to take another option for school. Your girls have to come first right now. If a judge sees what your schedule looks like he is going to see that you DON'T have any time for your kids. You need to show him that you do have time, EVERYDAY. Put school on hold right now until this is sorted out. THEN, do an ONLINE college so you can be there with those girls.

You don't even have a legal separation. She can't just up and move those kids in with another man 200 miles away. YOU need to be consulting a different attorney.

Can anyone put up some helpful website for fathers in need like this?

mlhb

http://www.themenscenter.com/National/national06.htm

The following site offers support if you are going to represent yourself:

http://www.mychildcustody.org/?gclid=CJDqw_uA05ICFUU2FQodhhUFHw

it's pretty clear to me as well...I take it the sane as S&C.

Honestly, if he doesn't want to stand up for his kids ad put them above EVERYTHING else, I don't really blame his wife for leaving. I am not here to counsel someone about how he can have a more convenient drive to see the kids that he allowed his wife to take from their home.

medc, you know i am usually behind what you say 100%. i am all about saying it as it is. however, in this situation to say you don't blame his wife for leaving? she is leaving because she is in her second affair. i don't care what the dude did he doesn't deserve that. i agree, school needs to be put on the back burner right now, or at least done online so he can be home with the girls. but wow, to say you don't blame his wife for leaving (when this is affair number 2) is pretty harsh. he sounds like he loves his girls and he just wants a better life for them. what i think digits needs to realize is is that he needs to work his life around his girls. there are ways around it.

i just don't see him as a big jerk like you guys seem to think. you haven't said he is one,but your posts are pretty harsh to me. he is here begging for help. he has no money for a lawyer. i get that. thank GOD above my parents paid for mine the first time around. he says he knows what he did wrong in the marriage (and nothing is wrong enough to ok not one but 2 affairs). i think digits is open to suggestions.

he is in panic mode and needs help not to be told " i don't blame your wife for leaving you" wow... a bs being bashed because he is going to college full time and working full time to try and make a better life.

wow

mlhb

Digits,

Please don't take what I said as bashing. I'm trying to give you a wake up call!

Your girls are in danger and you must protect them!

Girls are much more likely to be sexually abused by a boyfriend and a step dad than by their real dad. Don't let her put them in this risk!

Protect them. I know you love them and you're committed to school. That's a long term goal for sure. But don't let her do this with your kids or you will be really screwed when she files for custody out of state.

I DO blame his wife for having an affair. I don't blame her for leaving. Usually when I see a parent that doesn't put their kids as a TOP priority in their lives, I am also left to wonder what type of spouse that parent would make.

YOU interpret that it sounds like he loves his girls...I look at this as a man that just doesn't want to be too inconvenienced by a long trip. He is WILLING to let her take the kids...just not TOO far. His panic mode is about WHERE she is taking them...not THAT she is taking them.



This is simply NOT true. I am critical of what he is doing because he is allowing his kids to be taken and is MORE concerned with his schooling than his children leaving. That, IMHO, is sad and pathetic. I know a single mom of 4 that works full time, manages a household and still manages to work on her degree through internet classes.

MLHB,
I am all about helping fathers or mothers that are willing to stand up for their relationship with their children. I have no time anymore for parents that basically hold the door open for their spouse while their kids are being removed from their home. To me, I have a job...protect my child against all harm...even if that means his mom.
There are posters here that have talked about how good their life is...how much more at peace they are now...even though their kids are living with the enemy. Digits is more concerned with an education...and putting on a dog and pony show regarding finishing something he started...than he is his little girls. Sorry, that doesn't work for me. The JOB he STARTED is being a DAD and he has NO PROBLEM relinquishing his duty there. That is the one his kids will judge him on...not that daddy got his degree at their expense.

Sorry, that's just the way I see this. We will need to agree to disagree.

MEDC

High Five!

And the only expiration date on that job is your last breath.

MEDC,

I don't necessarily disagree with you since you have explained in more detail what you are talking about. I am, as I mentioned before, one of those single moms,with 2 kids, working full time, running the household, running to sports, and finishing my degree full time online. That is why I told Digits that online should be his route.

I personally am never at peace that my kids even have to spend any time with "the enemy" as you put it. Luckily, me exes schedule is such that my kids really don't have to spend a lot of time over there. Usually about one over night per week and maybe a weekend about every other month. THANK GOD.

Digits, if you are of the thinking that being a good day means bringing in a bigger paycheck because of that degree, that is not the case. My ex always thought he was a good dad because he worked hard and brought home a good paycheck. BUT, his ambitions meant that he never got to spend time with the kids. AND his time was all they wanted, especially my son. He is so starved for a male figure at this point it is not even funny. Finish your degree online so you can spend time with the girls, or put it off until this is all sorted out. They would rather eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner and be with you then be with a babysitter or worse yet, their mother and om and eating lobster! kwim?

mlhb

ok, ok I LOVE MY GIRLS! And i have no means of not being there DAD. I came here for advice (and a kick in the [censored]) because I don't have a clue what the hell im actually doing. I know I WANT my girls and to be a dad but i also want my wife back.

Let me explain, 8 months ago when she first had her emotional affair that she wanted more of, i broke. She said i never made her feel like i cared about her and that i didnt want to be with her. BS, i didnt everything i possibly could around her worked my butt off to get us by. Nothing did any good, i lost my job. And after that everything else came crashing down. I've been trying to pick up the pieces for some time now, and we were finally working together getting back on our feet. Her and I and something snapped again and she wanted nothing to do with me, she wanted to go out with her friends, rather be anywhere but home. I dont know what happened i dont know why and ill probally never know, but all i know is im still attached to her and i just can't let go.

Now she's up and left, mentally and physically gone from me. And right now i dont have a pot to piss in, i moved back in with my parents because i dont have ANYTHING, we sold our stuff to try and get by.. im driving a $400 car and the apartment we had is empty, she left last night. So where do i stand? I dont have my own place right now, im barely getting by, and truly i dont know whats best for my girls right now.

Together me and her were getting back to what we wanted and this [censored] happened and now by myself i've got nothing. I've got to pick my [censored] up completely. Alone, depressed, belittled, And i don't have a clue why i'm stuck under the rock. To be honest, im terrifed that I could actually put them more at risk if they were with me right now. I loved my family, and now its all gone.

BTW i love school, and I starter going to school to show her i could be something in life, i constantly get belittled no matter where i go or what i have.

YES i want to be dad of the year to my girls, no if ands or buts.

First chance you get, go see your girls.

Don't tell her you're doing anything other than visiting. Then put them in your car and take them to your parent's house.

You have every right to do this until there is an order saying you can't.

You filed a motion in court that they not be allowed to leave the state, so that has to be ruled on.

Access the website links I provided. They offer help for dad's to represent themselves.

Get your girls!

Miss a few days of school to get this straight.

Forget your W for now. Protect the girls.