Here is some info I thought some vets would like to know and I hope people will catch on....

N2F---- in pregnance

onlytimewilltell

This is so true. I don't recognize the person my husband has become.

Kag, With G-d ALL things are possible.

AMEN!

This is our mantra isn't it Queenie?

How much strength in just that one statement.

You have come SO far girl.. I'm so proud of you.


(((((Queenie)))))

Yes dude, it is our Mantra. And it's a good one.

This means ALOT to me, thank you.

I want to brag just for a moment. I completed my AA 9th step last night and started on my 10th. My sponsor spoke with me for about an hour and a half, asking me many questions and listening to me. She told me that I am no longer the person who walked through the doors almost 11 months ago. I have changed in so many ways.

And she is right. I live in a world where G-d leads me now and I feel safe with him. Yes, I have those down moments, I cry and wish things were different, but I feel alive inside and just know when those dark moments happen, it will pass, I just have to feel the pain and keep walking.

The promises of AA have materialized in my life and I am SO GRATEFUL to G-d, but I also acknowledge that I did the work too because G-d worked in my life.

I't an amazing day in the PNW and this GARDEN GODDESS is planting those flowers.

VERY IMPRESSIVE...LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE ANOTHER MB CLASSY LADY ON OUR HANDS!!!!

Way to go, I'm so proud of you! I knew that since I haven't been hearing from you that things were going great!

Love you!
Rin

You think I would know that by now. My son is an example, he is a miracle. The doc's said he wouldn't walk, talk and would be severely MR. He is a bright, happy, soccer playing 9 year-old. I NEVER gave up on him. I am not sure why I am giving up on my M. I almost feel like it is the right path to do so.....?

Queenie,

I'm very proud of you girl!! You are a person who has come a long way, and right in front of our very screens. Keep up the good work - you are my inspiration.

If you are truly asking, you are asking the wrong people. Ask G-d and wait for an answer. It's been almost a year since D-day for me. There are days that I would LOVE to just have it all OVER, but then I remember that my best thinking got me here and I am healing from the messes I created in my life. G-d's word is he hates divorce, so that is something he NEVER desires or says is the right path. What he says and Johnstwin reminds me of this all the time, is that he will take this and turn it into good.

As a BS you have the right to say that you don't want your M and can walk away, but Mark mentioned this to me, can you honestly say you can walk away for the rest of your life and be ok with that choice. No judgement on our part, just getting you to see your own truth and path. I will support you with whatever you choose.

Without a doubt giving up on our M are the way easier route. Not to mention in my case, not giving up could be a futile attempt. I just have to walk in FAITH every single flipping day and pray that what I am doing is what G-d wants and that one day, the pain will be gone and my future will be unfolding to the blessings G-d has for me on the other side.

Chai,

If it wasn't for my growing relationship with G-d and his working through all of you on here, I would simply be dead. I will NEVER forget those dark nights and days when I couldn't imagine a life without my H. I can now. I don't want it, but with time, I can.

Today I was reminded why I need to stay out of the drama of WH. The person who works at the store bumped into me and told me how happy he seems, blah blah.. I think a sledge hammer wouldn't have hurt so much. He was bragging about how he is making the most money he ever did, funny I didn't see it on the paycheck he deposited into my account this afternoon. In fact it was less than two weeks ago.

But my point, it sent me on a tailspin of pain and sadness. I had to work EXTREMELY hard to not let it take me down and it took a long time. The good news is, it wasn't as bad, I recognized it immediately and began working at correcting it. So much so that I for the FIRST TIME in my LIFE, I took my car to a car wash place and washed it myself. I missed a few spots, but Believer, this GODDESS made her car shine.

Chai, my inspiration and is knowing that I have some many of you on here who care about ME and pray for my M to be restored. I just don't feel so alone then.

Hi Queenie
I know you do not know me but I always wanted to say hello!!
I am always looking for a new post on your thread!
I have been reading for a long time and did not want to post until I started reading your thread as well as hopeandpray, Kag's,and LASunshinegirl.
You have no idea how you girls have changed my life!!
I am a FWW and it is very hard to take 100% responsibility of our choices, we always want to blame it on our spouse too. Well, I was like that until I came to MB.
By reading your story (all of you) I have come to really understand that it was my choice. Even though my H has part on the situation our M was before the A, that is not a justification for what I did. That very understanding has brought me healing.
I have come to understand just in part by reading your story what a BS goes through. I have laughed with you, I have cried with you, I have prayed with you and for you, my heart goes to all of you when you are down.
You girls have helped me to be humble, and to appreciate my H more. I was always complaining to God and telling him that my H did not awknowledge me any more, that he was not affectionate to me any more and bla,bla,bla. Until the day that I was reading LASunshinegirl's story I started to cry and felt unworthy that my H is still with me.
Now, the first thing that I do when I wake up is thank God for my H. I love him so much!!!
I wish he could believe that!!
Well, I wanted to say hi to you girls, and to let you know that there are a lot of people out there that do not post on a regular basis but that are reading your stories. You are making a difference on peoples lives!!
I admire you all, for all that you have been through!! You have endure sooo much!! but at the end you will overcome this.
Remember;
Comit your way to the LORD; trust in him and HE will do this. Psalm 37

Blessings
Angie

Thanks Angie....hope you don't mind Queenie that we are temp hijacking your thread

My life has been very challenging, first with my son and his many, many surgeries and close calls. And now this. I have grown in strength and wisdom along the way. What I have learned most is to try and have faith that it is for a reason and to reach out for help from family, friends and even emailing 'strangers' who seem to become friends. This latest trauma have brought me even closer to my family and friends. I am not good at asking for help and being less than in control. This has been a HUGE lesson for me.

I just think I may be on a different trajectory and leaving my 20 year M behind. I am grateful to SH for pulling me through the first 6 months and KNOWING I gave it my all through plan A and recovery(false). I can leave in peace. It isn't what I want but seems to be what the universe is telling me. Just like I certaintly didn't want a son with multiple medical needs but there it was and I moved through it and got to the other side of seeing it as all good.

I am so glad you were able to embrace MB. I think maybe the WH side just don't get it(sorry guys) My WH is HATES MB. He read all the books and think they are cr@p...his situation is unique...HA

Hi Angie,

You can only imagine what your post has done for me. Being in AA, the 12th step is carrying the message to others. If I and many others have helped you with understanding and recovering your M, then G-d is truly working in my life by blessing and helping other people and that's what I hoped for.

Please keep posting and telling me about yourself and how you are learning and growing and creating your M to what you want it to be. I'm am so glad you are at home working on your M. And more importantly, so is G-d. Your H has been through a lot and I wish you the best and doing the work to completely recover your M. I'm glad you are reading and opening up to us. You have a wealth of knowledge that can help us BS and give us hope that one day our WW's will come home.

[quote] Remember; Comit your way to the LORD; trust in him and HE will do this. Psalm 37 [p/quote] There is NO OTHER way for me.. NONE....

And that's why I am going through this. I truly with all my heart and soul believe that G-d would have continued hunting me down until I sought him out. Fortunately or unfortunately it took this deep of a sadness and destruction to bring me back to his fold. But in his fold I stay and when you and someone else tells me I am helping them, well, it just reiforces that G-d has a purpose for my life and I am letting him guide me.

I hope to talk to you often and Shabbat Shalom,

Queenie

Kag,

Even with OUR SITUATIONS look totally hopeless and bleak. We can still have OUR RELATIONSHIP with G-d and walk in FAITH that whatever he HAS PLANNED for us is better than we can ever imagine. You know, you have experienced it before.

If you want your M, then walk in FAITH. We don't know what we don't know and we just have to keep walking, ESPECIALLY when it looks the worst.

I have to somehow with G-d finish this out keeping FAITH that one day my M can be restored. I truly believe my WH is on the path of self-destruction and I can't live with myself that I gave up on him, like everyone else. I just can't.

As you know, G-d will give us what we need and we just need to rely on him with ALL OUR HEART AND SOUL. It's the ONLY WAY.

Shabbat shalom y'all.

Queenie,



Yep! He will give us what we need and also what is best for us, even when it isn't what we want.

When people’s lives please the Lord,
even their enemies are at peace with them. Prov 16:7 (New Living Translation)

Good Shabbas, Queenie.

Mark

And this is where I HAVE to TRUST the Lord, no ifs ands or butts about it. Because he has plans and knows them.

Good Shabbos Mark....

(((Queenie)))

Hey I just wanted to say I've been watching ya. Thanks for your offer for support back on my thread. I am back now. And joining you in the "Plan B" club.

You have been doing so good in your Plan B mode. I am amazed at your growth through all of this. You do remind me of me. You throw EVERYTHING out there. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It was one of the reasons I was unsure about posting still. I have a way of letting it all hang out, IYKWIM....

Anyway, keep up the good work. I am glad you got your front porch so beautiful. Now it is a reflection of you....

Not2fun

Will hold each other up as we go along, ok?

I'm glad you are back, open and front. It's so hard to really know what to do, but there are so many on here supporting us. They can't all be wrong.

This whole SITCH humbled me to the ground to where there was no pride and no more left to go down. This is my M I am fighting for, I may still lose, but I am going down with a fight. And I would love for my WH to find me on here and read about what has happened to me and the growth. But that's not my story today, so I get to just keep walking in FAITH.

Wh showed up at YS's game for about a quarter, actually not even the whole quarter, and I honestly think he got chased off. He was gone at halftime and I didn't see him the rest of that game or my OS's game. I wonder what happened. Oh that's right, Plan B, I don't get to know.

And actually that's just fine with me. I really struggled today emotionally with it, but I have been through this sadness enough times to keep focusing, change what I am doing and let time go by. And sure enough, as soon as my boys were playing, I was busy scorekeeping and happy that I am in their lives. Not to mention it was beyond magnificent weather today and my tan is glowing again.

My porch isn't totally finshed, but it will be tomorrow and then the bright flowers will be a reflection of me.

I'm going to go visit your thread and catch up on ya. N2F, we really need to hold each other up now.

Amen to that one sista....and we also need to get Serenity here. Honestly, I think at this point she needs to tell her WS about her knowing about the emails. I don't know how she does it. I have seen my WS emails with her and they are so beyond painful, I cannot bear them. It takes MAJOR withdrawls from my love bank....

Anyway, you HAVE grown tremendously. I am proud of you. And who knows what will happen, but you will survive either way....

not2fun

Hey N2F,

Yes, we need Serenity here with us as well. We have to keep each other held and supported no matter what.

Today was one of those days where I almost didn't want to survive. I miss him so very much, I miss having a complete family. But it was just my stinkin thinkin and I let it run it's course and then shook my head and put on some hard rock and roll in my head.

I have grown and changed. I am not that worthless piece of crap that came to these boards almost a year ago. I still have a long way to go to think that I deserve better than WH, but I also don't deserve his absolute disgusting behavior of treating me like crap. If nothing else, I am a human being and just as common courtesy should be treated better.

I can not even imagine what reading those emails would be like. I never had to face those. My WH TM back and forth with OW and it was my boys' who saw what they wrote. It made them sick.

Only G-d knows what will happen and I have to keep remembering that, one day at a time or simply one second at a time when it's hurting so bad.