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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 22
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 22 |
Been married over twelve years and have three kids. Recently found my wife has been communicating with two old boyfriends via email, harmless stuff, but still caught me off guard. One is married another single. She has not been totally forthright about it and says I am being weird. Should I be worried or am I over reacting?
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 200
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 200 |
I know others here may have a different opinion, but I don't think contact with an ex-bf is always sinister as I am friends with one of my ex-bf and it is purely friendship.
When you tried to talk to your wife about your concerns what did she say? If you have expressed disapproval in the past, that may be the main reason she kept it from you. You'll have to approach her in a way that doesn't make her feel she needs to be defensive. Do you know much about her past relationship with the ex?
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2 |
I'm close friends with an ex bf. The important thing is never to discuss the state of your marriage with them. Far too dangerous. Ex bfs can become affair parters more easily than other opposite sex relationships as there are fewer barriers.
A good rule of thumb with all relationships with the opposite sex is never to say or do anything that you would not say or do in front of your spouse.
This means that she needs to include you when she meets up with them and allow you to read all her communications.
If she will not do this then she is playing with fire and you need to fight for your marriage.
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 22
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 22 |
She dated him before me and they were somewhat serious....she cut him loose and he was always more into her than she was him. We had similar friends so this is how I know this and she told me the same. He may still have feelings for her as far as I know. I just find it odd that after years of not talking she tracks him down and connects....again, it may be harmless but it really caught me off guard.
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