Sorry that I have been gone for so long. Things are better for me, but I am on the third go round for hormone replacement therapy for menopain, and well, it's been a bumpy ride.<P>Please write me, those of you who helped me so much before, and update me. <P>Have any of you seen the movie on Lifetime "The Price of a Broken Heart". It aired for the first time last nite and it is great. Helps you sorta understand why you need revenge, if you do need it. And I am one person that has needed it. I promise that if the OW ever makes any contact with my H again, I will sue her for Alienation, even though she has nothing. I want to let her know and to let the world know about her. I want her to feel the humilation that she causes to others and I want to look her square in the eye while I do it. <P>Peace and I look forward to hearing from you all. <P>UBU

Ubu,<BR> Well, it's about time, wait right here while i go fix me a cup of coffee, see how important your post is to me I started answering before I've had my coffee. BRB<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

ok, I'm back, what do you want to know ? I haven't hit Bozo upside the head with a skillet yet. I am trying a new craft for Christmas, doorstop dolls made out of two ltr. soda bottles. I think I'll make some of them Brides with lace dresse's, some angles and some in the "country " primative way.<BR> You my friend sound a good bit better.<BR> I'll have to find out when that movie comes on again, I want to see it too.<BR> So how goes it with you ?<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Hi Deb,<BR>well, beside the estrogen patch, nothing is really new. My 24 yr old and her boyfriend had been staying here while they found a house. He works for a dance company and they travel 7 weeks in the summer. He just got back last week. Anyway, we have been helping them move for the past few days. That's great. I like living with the two of them better than her alone. Somehow she turns into the same person she was at 16 when he's not around.<P>As for the H and I, since we called the OW, I have felt much better. My friend who would work with me on writing a serious/humorous book about being left, is going through a tough time. I gave her my copies of "After the Affair" and "Surviving Infifelity". They are more appropriate for someone in the middle of dealing with the spouse leaving for the OW. Mine is so different. she needs validation so badly. I have encouraged her to look at this site, but she may not. Her H left her for his nurse. This OW had been to their home on numberous occasions for office get togethers and such. I can see how much harder that would be. This movie I told you about will be good for her. She has an alienation of affection suit against the OW and I know that the rest of her H's office will testify in her behalf. That movie airs again on Wed, tonite, I think.<P>So, you have found a craft to occupy your time. If you make a groom to go with the bride, put a knife in him somewhere or sew up him mouth so he can't say the things that our lame H's have said to try to redeem themselves at our expense from time to time.<P>Gotta jet. Time to haul into my office. I will check back through the day and see how you are. <P>Peace<P>UBU

UBU<BR>It's good to hear from you. You sound like you're making progress.<BR>I think you better stick around a bit. Deb needs some cheering up and I think you might just help a lot!!!!!

So, things have been bad for you, Deb. Tell me about that. I know that it gets old to tell again, just a brief. I can't read all the back stuff. Would lose my mind. But, I want to know.<P>How are you wasstubborn? Things any better?<BR>I guess for me, I will never get the depth of feeling back for my H. I am not interested in him physically now at all. I am not sure if it has to do with the hormone replacement stuff, or the increase in my wellbutrin, but he just holds no interest to me. And neither does anything or one else.<BR>So, that will probably get better after the culprit drug is found and I make the necessary adjustments, cause honey, that is one of lifes last pleasures that I am not willing to give up yet and goes a long way toward healing. But, if we never have sex again, I guess we would survive. I don't think I could run him off with a pitch fork. He is very good to me and very understanding. He has been reading about menopause. His lapse in judgement just came at the wrong damn time.

ubu<BR>I think maybe you could be tired? Body and soul has been through a lot and you need to just take a break. Give yourself a chance to recover from all this. it will come back with time. Don't you hate that word TIME on occasion? It is a four letter word isn't it?<BR>The last month has been tough for me. The OW called H in July because she "needed" something. It had been three months since they had contact (supposedly). my H kept it from me, jumped for her, then lied and lied when I confronted him. I found out by checking his cell messages. Anyway we still haven't really resolved things.<BR>Things have been very upside down since then. I'd like to have him give me that closure. Did it feel good to get that phone call out of the way?<BR>That movie sounds very appropriate to my state of mind. I wonder if I can get it here.

I wish that your H would get his head screwed on correctly. God, this is so hard for you. When we did the "phone call" to the OW, it went a long way to healing us. Especially him. He was surprised how much it helped him. If you can get him weaned off of the whiney, stupid, clinging, needy,<BR>unethical, immoral, untrustworthy b**ch, then I hope he will make the call with you.<P>The movie is on a channel called "Lifetime for Women" and is on our cable system. I live in NC, I don't know where you live. But, this case that is cited in this movie happened here in NC and the wife was awarded one million dollars and it was upheld by the superior court on appeal. She may or may not ever see the money, but it is like she said, she was able to do something. When something is stolen from you with malice and intent, then you feel so helpless. She took control and won. Yesssssssssssssss.<P>UBU

ubu<BR>I'm in Canada but we have satellite so I'll check it out.<BR>My H has tried to call OW three times but no answer. He thinks she may be on holidays. I suggested she might be in the hospital. Poor little thing is not well you know - she has lupus. I told him if she was in hospital to let me know so I could send her some black roses. Maybe I could deliver them.<BR>I've missed your spirit ubu!<BR>I love how you use words to describe undesirable people!<BR>

Why, thank you. It takes about no time at all to degenerate to the white trash level when I think about the OW. I know that there are some tender hearts out there who happen to be the OP and I don't want to hurt anyones heart or feelings or make them angry, but, if you play on your own playground then you are not responsible when you scab your knees on mine. I guess I am a hard nose when it comes to that issue. And, I have some close and dear friends who have cheated and I have held them and kept my trap shut. But, as for cheating strangers, well that's a different story. If I came into someone's home and saw their VCR and it was so much better than mine, and I just had to have it and it was out of my control, and I stole it, would that be okay? That is how I see this whole issue. Leave what is not yours to have alone and you will not suffer the results. Oh, here I go on my soap box. I am sorry. I deserve to get punished now, so all you on the other side who need to, feel free. I can take what I dish. Okay.

Dear ubu<BR>Listening to you on your soapbox does wonders for me.<BR>Most OP that would read what you said are in a different class than ours. They have enough morals to be here and care about others.<BR>I think when you look at the fact that you and I have been dealing with these particular OWs for years, anyone could see where a litle bit of bitterness might enter the soul.

Amen to that. I have to leave now to go see my psychologist. I guess that's good, huh?<P>I will talk with you again in 1 hour and 1 minutes. See, I can control somethings :-)<P>UBU

Hi,<P>Everything at the dr. went ok. I just have lost my mojo, as Austin Powers,(my hero) would say. And losing ones mojo is a bad thing. It is kinda like losing your blood or something. <P>So, I am home now and will be checking in from time to time. <P>Deb<P>Where are you honey? Did I lose you somewhere? I even iced down a corona for you.<P>peace<P>ubu

ubu<BR>I didn't see Austin Powers and I'm not sure what a mojo is but I'm pretty sure I've lost mine too.<BR>"Of all the things I ever lost I miss my mind the most"!<BR>Deb has me very worried. <BR>Deb!!!! where are you? We're worried. You need to come here and vent and get rid of that depression!!!

wasstubborn,<P>Well, a mojo is a life force. Your juice. And I am sure that it incorporates your mind, so there you have it. For Austin Powers, it was his sex appeal and drive. For me it is that plus a desire to live and thrive. Kinda lika a plant that needs a good dose of fertilizer. Ya know?<BR>For me right now life is in black and white, there is no color.<P>I am going to try to get Deb to post on another line, but, I will not be on all of the time. Look for the post and if you are on see what's popping with her. <P>Here's to finding our mojo<P>Ubu<P>(you know, ubu was the name of my black lab that I had to have put down about a month or so back. She was 15. I have always used her as my id everywhere and it is a tribute to the most wonderful lump of protoplasm that God ever created. Every time I sign on anywhere, she is in my heart. My real name is Jan. Here's to my baby, waiting for me with a sloppy kiss in heaven!)

ubu<BR>No wonder you lost your mojo if you had to put your dog down. I have a golden retriever. 9 years old. She was diagnosed with cancer in her mouth 2 years ago in September. At that time she was given weeks to live. So I have spent the last two years expecting to have to put her down any day. That is a heavy sadness. There is a really neat poem on the net somewhere called "The Rainbow Bridge". It's about where our pets wit for us.<BR>I'll watch for Deb when I can. I'm designated driver for my oldest tonight. Last time i did that I got hit on by the bartender and didn't even know it. Boy am I out of practice!

Sorry about your dog. I loved ubu very much. the decision to put one down is the hardest thing I have ever done. When you get there, let me know. I will understand totally how you feel. They love us so much. I have two other labs named booger and sadie and a husky named chaco. I inherited chaco when a daughter and her boyfriend broke up and I got custody of the dog. It sucks because, while I love Booger and Sadie, they aren't far behind Ubu, but Chaco is only 2 so I am stuck. He is a one person dog and that is me. Also, he is a male and I am partial to females. He pees on everything. I have even seen him pee on Sadie when she was laying down. Can you believe that?<P>Anyway, if the bartender flirts with you tonite, go back another nite and make your daughter be the dd and let the bartender buy you a drink or two. Probably would help your mojo. I know you don't want him, just flirt a little. Can make a little more spring in your step, if you know what I mean.<BR>Now me, I will take all the flirting I can get. I don't want anyone, just want them to want me. Sadly, as I get older they get fewer. Most of my contacts come from other brokers who are primarily male. And bald and fat and whatever. But, we take what we get. Just don't forget to line your lips honey so that the lipstick don't run.<P>hugs and kisses<P>Ubu