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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Need help quick - restraining order? VETS?

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Need help quick - restraining order? VETS? #2042528 04/15/08 12:50 PM
Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 213 K Kag Member
Kag Member K Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 213	If WH drops boys and insists on speaking to me should I threaten him with a restraining order? Previously, before things got heated with visitation, he dropped them in driveway and drove off. He drops my oldest off often after soccer practice and games. It is really impracticle for me to be gone on all of those occasions. [list] BS-Me 42 WH 41 D-Day 8/2/07 (right before our anniversary) Married almost 20 years Plan A 8/07-9/21 Recovery-false 9/21/07-2/8/08 NC broken 12/07-2/8/07 implemented Plan B 2/8/08 Plan D 5/12/08 DS 11 DS 8 with special needs[list]

Re: Need help quick - restraining order? VETS? Kag #2042533 04/15/08 12:54 PM
Joined: Jun 2002 Posts: 2,956 C committedandlovi Member
committedandlovi Member C Joined: Jun 2002 Posts: 2,956	Quote If WH drops boys and insists on speaking to me should I threaten him with a restraining order? Has he threatened you or struck you? I don't think that you can get a restraining order with the cause cited as "breaking Plan B". Are your children old enough to get themselves out of the house to meet him on steps or in driveway. You can watch to make sure they get in the car ok, you don't have to speak to him to do that. Watch from a window. You are not obligated to open the door to him. Send the kids out to him. What's he gonna do....bang on the door til you open it? If he does that and refuses to leave...call the police. Editing: The kids can walk up to the house without him. Don't allow him in when they come in...bar the door. If he shoves his way in, again, call the police. committed Last edited by committedandlovi; 04/15/08 12:56 PM. Reason: adding content

Re: Need help quick - restraining order? VETS? committedandlovi #2042578 04/15/08 02:38 PM
Joined: Jul 2001 Posts: 5,247 L Lexxxy Member
Lexxxy Member L Joined: Jul 2001 Posts: 5,247	Don't be available to talk. Be in the shower. Be in the bathroom. Be in your bedroom with the door locked. Your boys are old enough to get themselves inside the house without you standing guard. Don't be standing by the front door waiting for him to come in. Or have someone else present. A friend, a neighbor. You don't have to be gone, but someone else can run interference to keep him out and away from you. Even talking to him about a restraining order is breaking Plan B.

Re: Need help quick - restraining order? VETS? committedandlovi #2042695 04/15/08 06:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 213 K Kag Member
Kag Member K Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 213	Quote What's he gonna do....bang on the door til you open it? If he does that and refuses to leave...call the police. Editing: The kids can walk up to the house without him. Don't allow him in when they come in...bar the door. If he shoves his way in, again, call the police. This is what I am afraid of....don't want a scene in front of kids. [list] BS-Me 42 WH 41 D-Day 8/2/07 (right before our anniversary) Married almost 20 years Plan A 8/07-9/21 Recovery-false 9/21/07-2/8/08 NC broken 12/07-2/8/07 implemented Plan B 2/8/08 Plan D 5/12/08 DS 11 DS 8 with special needs[list]

Re: Need help quick - restraining order? VETS? Lexxxy #2042696 04/15/08 06:56 PM
Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 213 K Kag Member
Kag Member K Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 213	Quote Even talking to him about a restraining order is breaking Plan B. Still seems easier than hiding in my house. Or getting a neighbor involved in the drama. I just want him to stay away from me. Lawyer says I can't call police if he comes in until I file for D. He says I need professional help since I won't talk to him. [list] BS-Me 42 WH 41 D-Day 8/2/07 (right before our anniversary) Married almost 20 years Plan A 8/07-9/21 Recovery-false 9/21/07-2/8/08 NC broken 12/07-2/8/07 implemented Plan B 2/8/08 Plan D 5/12/08 DS 11 DS 8 with special needs[list]

Re: Need help quick - restraining order? VETS? Kag #2042701 04/15/08 07:08 PM
Joined: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,819 S sdguy038 Member
sdguy038 Member S Joined: Dec 2005 Posts: 2,819	Quote He says I need professional help since I won't talk to him. This is the kind of FogSpeak nonsense that Plan B is supposed to protect you from. Why are you communicating with him?

Re: Need help quick - restraining order? VETS? Kag #2042702 04/15/08 07:10 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,306 T Tyk Member
Tyk Member T Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,306	Sounds to me like your Plan B is working. WSs tend to not like Plan B very much, it removes thier control, and thier cake. Keep it up, enforce your boundaries and keep the phone handy to call the police if you need thier help. Unfortunately, the way the legal system works you can't get a pre-emptive restaining order.

Re: Need help quick - restraining order? VETS? sdguy038 #2042717 04/15/08 08:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 213 K Kag Member
Kag Member K Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 213	Quote This is the kind of FogSpeak nonsense that Plan B is supposed to protect you from. Why are you communicating with him? Came thru my IM [list] BS-Me 42 WH 41 D-Day 8/2/07 (right before our anniversary) Married almost 20 years Plan A 8/07-9/21 Recovery-false 9/21/07-2/8/08 NC broken 12/07-2/8/07 implemented Plan B 2/8/08 Plan D 5/12/08 DS 11 DS 8 with special needs[list]

Re: Need help quick - restraining order? VETS? Kag #2042721 04/15/08 08:21 PM
Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 1,026 J Julie2U Member
Julie2U Member J Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 1,026	Originally Posted by Kag Quote This is the kind of FogSpeak nonsense that Plan B is supposed to protect you from. Why are you communicating with him? Came thru my IM Kag, your IM is a SPAM FILTER, and she just delivered SPAM! Do you see this merry-go-round of crazy?? You've got to decide if you want out of it or not. If you do, if you TRULY DO, then get out - at all costs. But only if you want to, it's up to you. LIFE IS GOOD

Re: Need help quick - restraining order? VETS? Julie2U #2042729 04/15/08 08:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 213 K Kag Member
Kag Member K Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 213	When you are right you are right. Don't know if I want to stay completely dark. Makes filing a whole lot easier when I hear the crap. The crap only comes thru occasionaly via email via my IM. Also makes letting go a lot easier....who needs such a jerk? [list] BS-Me 42 WH 41 D-Day 8/2/07 (right before our anniversary) Married almost 20 years Plan A 8/07-9/21 Recovery-false 9/21/07-2/8/08 NC broken 12/07-2/8/07 implemented Plan B 2/8/08 Plan D 5/12/08 DS 11 DS 8 with special needs[list]

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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Need help quick - restraining order? VETS?

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