I posted a reply to a topic along these lines.

My chief complaints were removal of threads without explantation, and the Mod's style of asking posters to contact them "off-board" which leads to an overall feeling of alienation for us "outsiders".


What happened to that thread?

I am personally very close to leaving this board permanently because of the new "changes."

They removed it!

The MB Moderating staff found it necessary to remove the thread in question alltogether.

Unfortunately it escalated into harrassment and attacks, even moreso after it was moved to the "Other Topics" board.

The owner of the Topic {KeepItReal} received the same response from the Moderators.

Berlin

Seems that the 'changing of the guard' has some glitches. I haven't noticed anything specific, but the VIBE around here is off. Also, some frequent veteran posters have all but disappeared. It's a little disconcerting.

I don't believe it's some great conspiracy, just change and all that entails. New MODS, new styles, takes some getting used to, and takes we board posters speaking up when things ARE off (Like Lexxxy here)

I agree with you Lexxxy,

I also posted to that thread. It helped me to put those words down about what I liked about this forum and what I see happening as a change in the forum. The difference could be in part (like other posters on the removed thread said) that old posters leave when the board is down like it was for a few weeks. I felt that this thread was helping the rest of us rally and determine what it was we needed to do to make the forum more specific to the needs of people who come here for direction. This board is/was unique in the regard that it offered an action plan.

What was wrong with that thread moderators?? Can it be put back? I thought we were managing our thoughts well on that thread and it may have been helping us to know how to respond to those in need here. Am I too harsh in my responses to the posts here? My thoughts on that thread that is now gone were as critical (meaning evaluative) as any posts on that thread. Are you saying that we should not be doing that here??

Lake, did you see when the self-proclaimed "Evil OW" chimed in? She & another poster got a different ball rolling in that thread. It pretty much went downhill fast from there.

I agree Lake and SL.

I understand there are a few instances that need moderation or editing by the Moderators. But since the "new" board there have been 2 threads that disappeared, which I find disconcerting.

Since I didn't keep up with that thread immediatly after posting, I am left wondering what was said after I made my comments. Was something I said interpreted harshly?

Couldn't it have been edited instead of removed? I think there were valuable comments made.

I did read a post from someone that was weird--probably the self proclaimed that you describe. I tend to ignore those types of posts--my "planned ignoring" I would only respond if they coninue to post and I feel they are hurting newbies. I did not even know that the thread got moved. Last time I looked at it on this forum, it looked healthy from my point of view. I still think it was a useful thread. I wish it had just been edited and then maybe locked if necessary as I thought it was helpful for many of us in figuring out how to fill the gaps related to some of the seasoned veterans who are no longer here.

i was not even aware that we had new mods. who is new?

mlhb

And I am totally CLUELESS since I've been gone all weekend...

YUCK...

No one talked UGLY about ME or MARIAH did they?

Seems like I should get the opportunity to find out if they did...

This is the same as saying I Am Woman....

Whoops...I really didn't say that did I???

Mimi- No one talked ugly about you.

Changes are always uncomfortable, and we will all get used to the new board. It is much different, and I am assuming the Harley's have a reason.

I started out on other boards and this is the very best. All of the answers are HERE.

And the newer people can help each other. That is a sure sign of recovery. I would urge them to read the MB stuff first, though. It is fairly simple (but not easy, like JL says), Plan A, and changes in yourself, exposure, the affairees can't work together no matter what the excuse, and then Plan B - dark with no contact no matter what the excuse.

Hmmph!

Okay for you.

Outstanding advice, B. As always.

One small observation, I think there may have been a Mariah Carey diss in that shutdown thread late yesterday.

Well, it's no wonder why it was shutdown, then!!

Looks like Brooke's thread disappeared, I'm guessing that is the thread being referred to?

Given the controversy my words caused there, I wish it were at still visible, I hope that what I said didn't cause it to be disappeared.

In my opinion, in the last few months before the changeover, the MB boards had degenerated into to quite disrespectful and personally insulting behaviour that leeched into even the good threads, and also offline to real life and other boards.

See I learned from Dr H. that disrespectful communication is ineffective communication. Even if I don't care about politeness, I should keep communication respectful simply because its more effective to get controversial opinions exchanged that way. MB proved that in recent months.

The board administrators clearly sought to end the disrespectful communication , and have been very effective in that.

The problem is that it seems almost any kind of righteous direction used to confront waywardness or evil has also stopped.

MB is now probably a pleasanter place to chatter in than three months ago, but at what price ?

Almost all the old guard of vets who saved my marriage and life, have left this place as a result.

I can only hope that a new breed of righteous, respectfully confronting vets will arise soon, and restore these boards near miraculous support capability for troubled marriages.

May God bless these boards.

How do WE know this is how come folks aren't here?

Do people have INSIDE INFO. that others don't know about?

This is being said repeatedly.

Where is the INFO to back up this report?

If it is TRUE, I, personally, REGRET that folks that encouraged me to SPEAK MY TRUTH, just LEFT..it FEELS like ABANDONMENT of a PLACE that they BELIEVED in..

So maybe they DO NOT BELONG here..WHOMEVER these PEOPLE are..

Some people keep in touch off MB. I have personal knowledge that this is a main reason for departures.


I guess they have made that call. Others will likely follow.

I haven't been here for that long. The thing that I really like about the boards are that AFFAIRS ARE ALWAYS WRONG, and if someone needed a swift kick, they got it.

But, heres the IMPORTANT PART. IF that swift kick was UNWARRENTED, well then the vets and others would come in, AND IN MOST CASES, the situation would be battled out and settled. The mods were here to watch out for vulgarity and spam. THE MEMBERS decided what was UNFAIR ATTACKS, not ONE MODERATOR.

Well, that has seemed to have changed. I have posted here and DEFINATELY don't see myself as a holier than thou attack artist, but I got a post RIPPED apart with deletions. WOrds like "emotionally retarded", "immature", "loser","not easy on the eye" and "lazy" were deleted. My post looked like a government document revealed through the right of information act!

Now, I could have been wrong. I doubt it, but I could have been. I thought the spouse married to a complete.......(can I say it?) Well, lets say the husband "was NOT a winner". NO vulgarities, NO personal attacks to the poster. IF I was wrong, I fully expected others to straighten me out, not have my post riddles like I was posting on "MARRIED TIMES BEHIND THE IRON CURTAIN".

I guess the direction the admin wants is all fluff and no substance. And YEAH, sometimes it IS appropriate to be tough.

If someone DOESN'T want REAL OPINIONS, why have forums? Really, why? So they can pretend that everyones opinions are respected? Because thats what it seems like to me.

BUT, again, I realize the TOUGH job mods have. I appreciate how much work they have to do.I realize they give a lot of their times. But I always thought mods were like umpires, the sign of a good one is that you don't really notice them that much until you really need them. Its ALL ABOUT THE GAME. But, it appears that the vigilance has begun its journey down a slippery slope.

God, there is gonna be ARGUEMENTS among posters. Tempers will flare!!! Opinions will differ!!! As long as they aren't MFING each other, LET THEM WORK IT OUT!!. I've seen harsh words between two posters that I've held in high regard since I've been reading here. They yelled and ragged at each other in the past, and they will in the future, AND GUESS WHAT? The world didn't end, AND it added color and a TOUCH of real life to this board. I have learned a lot from BOTH these posters and I would HATE it if they stopped posting because they got their hand slapped every other day. Please don't make this board "THE MARRIAGE BUILDERS, STEPFORD STYLE"


And you know what REALLY stinks? I'm gonna submit this and I really don't know if it will be pulled or not! That is NOT good.