Hi -
I/We really need help to save our relationship/marriage. I have 4 children 3 from a previous marriage and 1 (age 2) to my husband. From the word go there has been issues about how mr husband talks to my children and how he always is on their case. He rarely praises them. We constand argue about this. My son age 11 now goes to counselling to help him deal with his emotions. This became more of a problem when our daughter was born. He is totally in love with her and this is great i just wish he would share some more of that love with my other children. He constantly puts her first above everything, which means that she always wants him and not me. But is great with me when he is not there. This is ok but he can't function when my daughter is around which means no attention for any of the other kids they are in the way or should be away from their sister and obviously no house work gets done! At the moment i am not standing for any negative tone in his voice i snap at him and tell him to to stop speaking like that which has a negative affect on the kids (its mainly my son who gets it) as they dont listen to him when quite often he is correct in telling them off but they only hear 'a nasty voice'. i dont know what to do.

I have been recently disgnosed as bipoplar which must be very hard on my husband but as he says i've always been like this whats changed. He doesn't support me or is positive in any aspect of my life including work (i'm a mental health special needs teacher). I havent been able to handle the way my husband is or life in general and i have been put on medication to help stablise my moods this has left me very low and being in despair.

I do want my marriage to work but we are constantly at each others throats argueing and not getting any where.

I can only think of my husband to leave to give us space but he will not under any circumstances leave his daughter. And says he will never leave. I just think it will give us time to think and want each other more, i would not stop him seeing his daughter obviously he has not mentioned seeing my other 3 children even though we have been together for 7 years.

HELP i dont know what to do.

Your marriage needs a lot of changes, from both of you. Please read the material here about what a good marriage should be and see where you can make changes. Starting with not arguing - why should he change if you aren't?

You have to get your marriage in a good place, where you both are not Love Busting, and are meeting each other's Emotional Needs, before you can even approach his attitude about the kids. Read up, and let us know what you think.