I totally agree. I really know who my friends are. The ones who call and check on me all the time. The ones who come and get me to take me to lunch so I will eat something. The ones who hauled me to the hospital twice.

And I def know none of my in-laws are my friends. They have been incredibly rude. My lawyer had to tell WS to call them off. It just stinks.

I know how much it can hurt to find out that your friends aren't your friends. But, take a look at this for something that might help you change your mindset:

Make a Difference!

Who has blessed your life lately, Sunshine?

There are not enough ribbons to hand out. My friends and family have been so great. They have stood by me the entire time and just been there. I can't thank them enough. Whenever I think of WS and the damage he has caused, I think of all the positives that have come out of it. I am blessed with wonderful friends.

Today has been kinda hard. My cat has kidney failure. Today he is having a really bad day. I'm thinking this week I'm going to have to take him into the vet. He's in pain and there is nothing I can do. My other male cat is 17 and has arthritis and diabetes. He's not doing well either. I don't know what I'll do without them. I'll still have my 2 girls, but I favored my blue eyed boys.

It makes me angry that WS doesn't even care enough to call and find out about them. My intermediary told him that they were both not doing well.

This next week is going to stink really bad.

I'm so sorry to hear about the kitties. It's so hard when we have to say goodbye to pets. I can't believe your H isn't concerned enough to call!

I sure hope the kidney failure isn't related to the pet food contamination last year. One of my sister's cats died soon after that, it could never be proven but it was kidney failure, and another friend's cat was also affected.

I'm sure you've given him a wonderful long life.

That is surprising...since he is the wayward. So far my inlaws have been supportive. Of course when I file and their 'golden boy' gets screwed up the wazoo....their tune may change.

I am vacationing with my sister-in-law and my boys this summer. I do want my kids to stay in touch with their relatives, they seem relatively sane compared to WH.

I have gotten closer to my own family and my friends have been amazing. Of course they were MY friends to begin with. Some mutual acquaintances have help WH out and it makes me sick. How can they 'support' and adulterer and family wrecker. I don't understand society today.

May be opportunitites for new friends without WH pulling you down. Join a new group or take more classes. I just signed up for a therapeutic writing class. Sometimes having kids is an advantage, I am friends with most of their friends moms.

Hang in.

Yeah, his family has never ever liked me. Probably because I never put up with their gossip and clicks.

I got my date for trial. July 2nd. Could they have made it during a hotter time of the year in AZ? My friends have all come out to say that they will come and be with me. So I should just rent a suburban with 3rd seat and we all drive together.

My friend Angie said she keeps wondering everyday when WS is going to wake up and realize what he has done. I tell her I wonder the same thing.

I keep forgetting what day it is. I have this stack of discovery paperwork to fill out from the lawyer. I don't know how I'm gonna get through it. Everything is so jumbled up and nothing makes sense. I keep wondering when he's going to call and tell me it was all a cruel joke.

LA,

I am right there with you, gathering all the financial information for the lawyer. Still having dreams about WH, waking up expecting him to be there. After 23 years together feels like someone cut off my left arm.

My friend and family are holding me up. I am trying to stay as busy as possible. House projects, kids, my volunteer work, gardening....but I am feeling very sad today. The wishing it wasn't so...

I spent the entire day applying for jobs online. Hopefully something will come up. My apartment seems empty. Even though I still have 3 cats, I am missing Sebastien terribly. I know it was the right thing to do because he was suffering, but I hurt so bad. My intermediary said that WS said he was sorry about the cat.

And I still haven't filled out this discovery paperwork. I just keep putting it off.

{{{{{{{{LA}}}}}}}}}

I am praying for you girl. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Are you taking care of yourself?

Yes. I have been taking my vitamins. I used my gift certificate to Burke Williams yesterday. I'd had that certificate for 4 years. I got a massage yesterday and then went to the movies to try to get my mind off of things.

This is the longest time I've ever gone without speaking to my husband. But I know calling him would be bad. I'd have a meltdown and the whole week would be ruined.

That discover paperwork is still staring at me. I haven't done it yet.

Katrina is walking around the house meowing for Sebastien. She can't find him. How do you tell a cat that their little brother isn't here anymore? Sounds sappy, but they know something is wrong.

{{{{{{{{{{ LA }}}}}}}}}}

Oh girl... I don't know if it helps but... about the same time my xWH was divorcing me, one of our cats died. I remember how I felt back then.

Just hang on, I know it's rough right now but I'm here to tell you that you will come out the other side of this and things do get better, they get so much better. I wouldn't take xWH over DH for all the money in the world. It hurts right now but all you have to do is live through it, just hang on.

I'm trying to hold on. When I do sleep, I've been having some horrible dreams. I wake up and then I'm up for the day. I had to go to a dream interpretation site to try and figure out if they all had a meaning.


Spent yesterday applying for jobs online. I hope somebody calls for an interview. Maybe if I was working full time again I could get my mind off everything.

I haven't talked to WS in so long. I reread his old emails from 3 yrs ago to present and I try to see where they changed if I missed something. Some clue. I truley believe that the OW is who pursued him. Me not being there made it possible for him to stray.

(((Sunshine))), I'm so sorry about your cat. That must have been a big blow.

LA,

I lost a cat in the middle of plan A, it was the same night I was going to go to plan B but had to put it off....The kids and I got some kittens from the animal shelter last fall and they have been a delight. One helps me type.

Ok, this may sound weird but I am a big time new ager....there are animal communicators that could 'talk' to Katrina. I used one to find my neurotic lost cat(thought no way will I find this cat). One hour later after talking to the animal communicator I went out back and there he was! I was floored.

Before I had kids I was board president of a local humane society. I really understand the bond between owner and pet companion.

You are SO STRONG, Sunshine!!

And you are getting stronger every day!!

It feels so good to get stronger!!

I like to see you stronger and feeling better. You'll continue to get that way, too. I didn't believe it would be that way for me, but it was! And is!

And will be for you as well!

I am trying. Tryng to hold it together. Doing as many job applications online as I can and trying to keep busy. Today I just went to the mall and walked around. Looked at dresses and wondered which one would be appropriate for a divorce trial day. That sounds horrible, but I want to look my best that day and just show him that I can keep it together. July 2nd isn't that far away.

No it doesn't!! Of course you want to look your best! Wear a pretty blue dress and you'll make a TERRIFIC witness! Mr. Gray's XW informed me I need to wear RED for the final court appearance.

That would be a good color for you, too!!

You'll be fine. Everything is going to be fine. No worries, Sista!!