I think it was Chris Rock who said in a stand-up routine:

"People are only as faithful as their options."

In other words, good-looking people have more "partners" to choose from, making them more tempted to cheat. Of course they've got to have that character flaw, too, but I do believe that attractive people are more likely to cheat because potential APs approach them more often...they don't have to try nearly as hard to find a willing participant, and they may not have to try at all. All they've gotta do is pick which one(s) they want.

I'd take a 5 with integrity over a 10 without, any day of the week.

My FWW is extremely beautiful in face and form. I have always appreciated this, but lately had more silently appreciated it than vocalizing it. She gets hit on multiple times every day. She also has a very strong sex drive. She would often "strike" well after midnight of a very long hard day. While I thought she understood if I took a rain check til the next day, no - she did not. In her mind, what man would refuse this amazing hotness. Indeed. Knowing what I know now, I would rise from a coma and perform if she asked me. 8 Weeks after the A ended she has only initiated twice. I long for the days she was all over me. It's coming back and I will be ready.

While there are at least 10 different reasons for the A, and 100 different circumstances that had to occur for it to have even happened, her perception that I underappreciated her beauty that she worked so hard to maintain was a big factor.

Do I wish she were ugly? No way. In spite of the A that she regrets almost to the point of dispair, she is incredibly beautiful on the inside as well. The combo of inner and outer beauty is breathtaking. While she was flattered before the A when she was hit on every day, it makes her sick now. However, she loves my new verbalization of the appreciation I have always felt.

SBS, we can analyze the what if's til the cows come home. When I worked, My FWH would initiate SF with me at midnight, knowing I had to be at work in a very few hours. I never refused him.
I'm older now, but I have aged well and my adult DS still calls me his pretty mommy. My FWH had an EA with a woman who's husband made an ugly woman his wife! This gal approached morbid obesity didn't have good hygiene and left me saying WTF!!! She wasn't even one of them that you'd say, "she has such a pretty face..if.." I also "took my FWH for granted". Hey, I didn't do anything wrong enough to jusify his behavior and you didn't either. We contributed to the conditions, but a few heart to heart conversations initiated by our spouses could have saved all of us some grief. GF

This weekend my husband and I had a candid conversation about the A. He did the talking. He thanked me for understanding his need for an attractive spouse and for all that I had done to fulfill that need. I've lost 30lbs and we now go running together. He mentioned that it had really started to bother him that during the A the OW had started to pack on the weight. Also she had an attitude that "you will love me no matter what size I am"
I was speechless. First of all I was thinking "you both were idiots" He was an idiot to have the A. And she is an idiot for thinking she could get him to leave me while getting fat. Second, I was overjoyed because this was the first negative thing that he had ever said about her. Its also amazing the difference real NC makes in a WS.

I guess I was mostly happy because after all this time it felt like I had taken back one of his EN's from the OW.

Someone probably already wrote this, but it may bare repeating:

Harley tells us its not so much what someone involved in adultery may look like as much as that person makes the adultery partner feel about themselves.

I've read many a story here where the BS was physically stunning and the adultery partner was the antithesis. Yet the feelings they felt about themselves when they were with their adultery partner eclipsed those physical aspects.

Jo

I've read many times that people frequently "trade down" when selecting an AP.

Maybe so, but one of the two in the A has to see the AP as quite a treat...one is going to be better looking than the other.

Oddly enough the OM had very similar features that I do. We are probably equals in looks. He has a bulkier form than I do and is a bit taller.