I don't know if I should reply here as it's the first time I've posted so apologies if this is in the wrong place. Last night I found an email from my husband to the OW giveing explicit detail about the time they had spent together the previous day. We have already attended an initial counselling session, I found out about his A on 06.04.08 and he told me it had been going on a few weeks. On the 13.04 I opened an explicit photograph from her on his mobile when he promised me he wouln't contact her again but refused to call her or text her in front of me to tell her this. On the 16.04 I found evidence of another call and text. He said they didn't email but I knew that was a lie and found the emails yesterday. We had a huge row, I confronted him immediately and then we talked about leaving and starting afresh. How can we rebuild this, I've booked another counselling session with his consent and he tells me we can fix this but I don't know if I believe it anymore. I 've seen recommendations for Keyloggers, should I do that, or will that destroy any chance of us rebuilding trust?

Welcome to marriagebuilders. I hope you don't mind that I copied and posted your thread here so it won't get mixed up with the others.

By all means, get a keylogger. There are ones online that you can install for free - Spector is one, I think.

When in an affair the wayward spouse acts like a drug addict. They need their drug (the other woman) and will lie to you about contact. So protect yourself and do some checking.

Also please don't have blow outs with him. You need to remain calm and pleasant. Plan A is the starting point. This is where you show him what a good wife you can be, with no disrespectful judgements or angry outbursts. It also includes exposing the affair, if you find it hasn't ended.