I am in a very committed relationship, with a wonderful woman for last few years. While in couples counseling, she starts to have EA with someone she sees occasionally for work. After about 4 weeks it goes PA, and I catch it and confront her about it. She denies anything, so I wait and confront her again 2 weeks later with proof.


She cries and admits it, says he was a predator and she is sorry. Counselor tells me she feels worse about it than I will ever imagine.

I wait 2 weeks and ask her she tells me its over she "laid it all out" to him. Of course I find out a week after that they are still phoning each other a couple times a day, and she says they are "just friends" and INSISTS they haven' been physical since I caught them. ( which I beleive)

I tell her that I cant tolerate her having a friendship with him and since she cant quit her job it needs to be strictly business with him, not even about the weather.


10 days go by and she says "its just business" and they see each other at meetings and then talk for 15 minutes after about how are you doing, are you ok etc etc. I say that is not business is it?

She says his wife found out and they are in counseling now....

I tell her now for the 3rd time she cant talk to him, and she reluctantly agrees its a disrespect to me and his wife would hardly agree to it.

Will she break it off? When? How much longer do I have to wait? Its killing me.


PM

She needs to leave that job. If it's her boss and a large corp complain to human resources that should get OM fired.

Her after meeting chats are not business, they are personal.

WW's are known to lie. I would bet dollars to doughnuts that the OMW does not know about the affair. You must expose the affair to OMW and WW parents ASAP. Expose without delay and without telling your WW first. Expose then sit back and wait to see what happens. Odds are the OM will through your WW under the bus.

What TheRoad says is correct...

You need to expose the affair to OMW and family now...my bet is that the OMW does NOT know because your WW is still talking to him.

Don't be fooled and don't be a fool.

Good Luck

If you want a reasonable chance of reconciling your marriage, then all contact, including business contact, must cease with the OM. It may mean your WW needs to apply for a transfer (if possible) or get a new job. As long as they can even see each other, the addiction will continue, and the temptation will likely overwhelm them eventually.

Even if she tells you she is only dealing with him professionally, your mistrust, suspicions and paranoia will eventually eat you up alive.

In the meanwhile, you may consider implementing a Plan A. If you haven't exposed the A, do so.

PM3675ny are you still there? We'd love to know how things are going for you. Hope they are going well, but we'll accept you either way!!

RMW