Im not sure why he is doing this. He has moved out and moved in with the other woman. Hes living with her right next door. Ive tried to be civil and let him come over and see his son but he uses coming over to see our son as an excuse to come over and fight with me. Last night he called 20 plus times and left 5 nasty messages. He was looking in my windows and just plain out harrassing me. I dont understand why he is doing this to me! I was forced to call and make a police report. I cannot have him doing this and he is just getting worse every day. I dont think plan B is working it is just making him more bitter, mean, and obbsessive. Is this normal?

I hope one of the vets jumps in because I'm not sure I can be of much help. But my guess is that he's doing one of two things 1- throwing a temper tantrum because he wants to continue the affair but also wants to stay connected to you (cake-eating) or 2- Being deliberately nasty in order to get you to accept an uncontested divorce that he's already asked for and been denied.

Honestly, if it were me and it was option 2, I would give up on the marriage and call an attorney. But even if it's option 1, you can't tolerate this sort of thing. As I understand it, the purpose of Plan B is to protect yourself from his awful behavior until he gets his head on straight. What I would do is get a restraining order and/or take a vacation with your kids at an undisclosed location for a while.

M2E,

You ARE in danger, and it's GREAT you made a report. Document, document, document!

Contact domestic violence hotlines and find a women's shelter in your area. Get yourself and son SAFE! Please!

YIM

You didn't give him the response he wanted. The 'oh my god, H, I can't live without you, I'll do anything you say just please don't leave me, I don't know what will happen to us without you, you're everything to me, please don't leave!' response.

Sound about right?

Tell the police you want an order against him.

Thank you so much for the responses! I wasnt sure if calling the police and making a report would screw up plan B or not. I think Im to the point where IM in plan C and I dont even think I want him back anymore after all he has done and is still doing. Hes outright stated he wants nothing to do with our 19 month old son and will not be there for the birth of our second son, due in August. I really do think its just time for me to move on and focus on my children and being happy now. Everyday he makes me realize how much better off me and the kids will be without him. He has not contacted me in 3 days, since the officer told him not to. So things are looking up! He still is coming outside whenever he hears me take our son out to play which is annoying but I can deal with it as long as he doesnt say anything to me. Hopefully he will just go away and let me and the kids be happy now.

If he is living next door you are not in Plan B....If he can look out the window to visit his kid you are not in plan B. I do not know what your finances are like but it is time to get out of the neighborhood if you can.

Next door?

Affair partner is next door neighbor?

Get Out!