Hi! I am wondering if I am an idiot or what! I have been married for 5.5 years now. To sum it up....H came home with Herpes a year and a half ago. A month ago he came home with something else. I had to forgive him for the Herpes because they couldn't prove when he got it. So we have been working through that. Now that he came home and gave me HPV....I am really upset. He says he has had it for years and was misdiagnosed. I never saw it until he recently went to the doctor. He will NOT admit to any foul play. How do I know what to do? And what to believe?

Does anyone have any pointers? I am really upset and an emotional wreck right now. I just don't know what to do.

Hi there Jen,
So sorry you are in this situation, but glad you came here for help.
Can you tell me more about your marriage? Do you have any other reason to distrust your husband or think he might be fooling around? Have there been any other red flags besides the STDs? How is your marriage otherwise? Are thing good between you? Do you trust him otherwise? Is he generally a man of integrity? Character can be discerned from other areas in his life, too.
From what I understand these diseases can often "incubate" for years before they show themselves--usually because of stress or some other illness that is compromising the body's defenses. I've heard of people who have gone for years and years before they have exhibited any symptoms. At the very least, you should be tested yourself to make sure you haven't been infected, and then obviously take precautions if you have sex.
I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Many of the other veterans on this board will likely have much better advice than my own. Just know you're not alone.
E
p.s. Would you be able to talkto his doctor? Maybe that would assuage your fears somewhat...

Herpes dormant? yes it is possible.

HPV? No.

Time to start investigating Jenn...sorry

HPV may not remain dormant, but there are strains that produce no symptoms that can be identified. The strains that cause cervical cancer cause no prior symptoms in women and there is no test for these in men.

The strains that cause genital warts, while giving clear indication that they are there during an outbreak, do not always cause immediate symptoms in either sex.

FWIW, the strains that cause cancer do not cause warts and vice versa.


Estimates are that as much as 70% of the population in the US is infected with HPV.

About a quarter of the US population is infected with herpes simplex type 2, known as genital herpes, though HSV1 can and does occur in the genital area from time to time and HSV2 is fairly common in the areas of the face including the mouth, ears, etc once thought to be the sole domain of HSV1. Either strain can remain inactive in the body's nervous system for years and be activated, often by some stressful event.

HSV1 once thought to be less severe can occur in the eye, causing blindness or even spread to the brain causing herpes encephalitis which might cause death.

Most people encounter and contract HSV1 during childhood. HSV2 usually happens in the teens and early 20s. Having one actually reduces your chance of getting the other but does not prevent it, though first outbreaks can be less severe once the second manifests itself.

A Google search of either HPV or Herpes will give you several hundred thousand pages of things to read.

Mark