Yesterday was a very bad day for me. It started by us not going to church because of the sat guy coming to fix the dish (neighbor cut wire by accident when trying to help with weedeatter), then right after the sat guy left around 1230pm H took off for a study group with ppl from work at the classroom (he first told me it was at the barracks). The study session was only supposed to be for an hour. H left his phone at home so I had no way to get ahold of him when it got 5 til 3pm to find out what the heck was going on. H always called me if things were going to be awhile and would always call if he forgot cell phone to let me know who or where I could call to get ahold of him. However this time he didn't do either. H got home right before 3pm and could tell I was upset. When I asked what happend to 1 hr he told me that he left around 1pm got the the classroom at 130pm then left after 2pm then stopped to get a haircut.
Just to give a background: H is the BS, I am the FWW. We are in recovery and have been doing real good but ever since my H made the statement of a revenge affair it's been eatting at me. Full story in Thread "Just told husband and son not his" in General Questions on pg 2.
Not to mention that I hit my nose on our sliding glass do so it is bruised. How that happend was funny but stupid. So I had a terrible headache topped with my H being gone for 2.5 hrs for a "1 hr study group" But I understand that sometime ppl lose track of time and stuff but he always used to call like a stated above. On top of the fact that I looked through his cell phone for a name I would reconize to call and find out what was going on, I found all these females numbers from back home and here that I had no clue who they were. When I asked about the numbers he told me either he didn't remember who they were or told me it was girls from work or girls he had to get ahold of to get info from about bike crap or something like that.
I am probably over reacting but then after he got home instead of helping me he just went to bed.
Ever since d-day when he told me all the details about his flings right before we married I am obessed with the OW and I can't stop thinking about him with them. I know they were before we married but it's bothering me all the same. How can I make it stop? Him going out to have a revenge A haunts me and everytime he is gone that is all I can think about no matter how hard I try to stop. What can I do to stop the thoughts? Please help!

Just be glad he's still there at all.

He didn't do this to you, you did.

I know he didn't have the A I did and I am GRATFUL that he is still here with me and working on our marriage. I want to forget about all the details that he told me and want to forget the pictures he showed me of 2 of the girls but I can't. I do not hate him or am mad at him for his flings (before M) but he just told me about the details and all after d-day so I guess it is just because it is all fresh in my mind. I want it all to stop! The thoughts of him with them and possiblity of him with OW now. Is it just going to take time for the details to fade and not be so fresh in my head or is there some trick I can do so they don't pop up at all. I am no where near trying to shift blame for what I did so please don't think that like others had before. I know the difference in before and after M. I just want the thoughts to stop! I know my H is going through alot right now and he is a wonderful man for sticking with me through everything. We have read HNHN and are reading LB, we plan to read "How to survive an affair" next. We are doing great but at times I feel as if I am not giving it my all because of the constant thoughts in my head about "revenge A" and the constant thoughts of whether or not he had an A with one of the girls back then when he ran into her during our separation (after M). He tells me all they did was talk but it bothers me all the same beacuse I didn't know til after d-day that, that "girl" he ran into (that he always made the comment that if he wanted to sleep with her he could have) was one of the girls he slept with before. I know it's all in the past and if something had happend it doesn't change how I feel about him now. I just truely want the thoughts to stop and be able to move on with my H. Any advice on how others have learned to deal with the thoughts?