Thanks for the feedback Jim!

Gotta keep a sense of humor here...cause it's so nuts.

Forget who it was, but someone here said that the reason she kept her WH around was because she was curious to see what the h#ll would fly out of his mouth next...LMAO at that one...

Like I said, no reponse...last night was kinda busy and opportunity to talk w/ WW didn't present itself until I was back from picking up DD from a sports match, and by that time WW had already had a couple of glasses of wine... I've made it a hard and fast rule that I will not have any serious discussions if she's even slightly under the influence.

I'm going to meet her for lunch and broach subject.

Wish me luck!

How did lunch go?

OK, I'm just laughing as I write this...

So, I don't get an answer at WWs work number all morning and leave messages. She finally calls back from her cell saying she ended up leaving work because she felt "sick to her stomach"...of course she's not sick enough to NOT drive 3+ hours to go over the mountains!

Unbelievable!

I asked her if this was her answer to my question and she said "no, but can I PLEASE call you back, I'm not feeling well..."

Waiting for her return call and sitting here wondering how I'm not going to LB the heck out of her...

Frickin alien....

OK, I'm not laughing anymore...

I'm really trying to think of what to say other than a verbal Plan B letter...

The problem is, without her honesty about what's going on w/ her, she could just as well be spending the weekends w/ OM's M because she's "safe", and the A is long over...

I'm looking for the strength and wisdom to think before I speak and measure my words oh so carefully....

Does the OM live with his mother on the Eastside? Is that what I understand?

She says no, but the return address on the letter from him says otherwise.

So, do I pack up the kids and drive over there this weekend???

Maybe it should come to a head.

BTW I'm all packed ready to go to the westside in the morning.
You want a little chuckle?

FWW just called and said make sure I bring a few books she asked me to bring Mars and Venus in the Bedroom. Said we could read it together boy am I lucky.

Care to stop by Richland and take some photos...?


Absolutely...I have tried to focus on WW and not OM, but if I drive over the mountains and confront WW, OM, OM's M with the reality of WW's family, that would be great from the vantage point of killing whatever R they have.

...on the other hand, it could make me look like a psycho...making them all nod their heads and say to WW "no wonder you want to leave him..."

I have wanted to be face-to-face w/ OM for a long time (but didn't know where he lived until recently), but that kind of confrontation would scare the bejeeezzus out of my kids, I'm guessing.

Maybe I should just ask them what they want to do...

In reality, I'm NOT the Jerry Springer type...and have just felt truly grimy after having any interaction with anything to do w/ OM.

Am feeling a surprising sense of elation at recognizing that her "answer" is actually going to finally free me....!

Unfortunately I don't have to go through Richland from Wenatchee but it would be fun.

I know that I have to return to Wenatchee lots of times to get my house sold and visit my our oldest son here and Grandchildren but to be honest I hate Eastern Wa.

You R correct it would be awful for your kids. Can you leave them with someone?

Sounds like you R Navy is that correct I thought you might be FT. Lewis. Regardless we must get together sometime.

I do wish your WW would comes to her senses. I guess I am becoming one of the lucky ones.

God Bless my friend

Enjoy your drive Jim, it's absolutely beautiful on this side today!

Anchors Aweigh!

Hey all, quick update...or lack of update...

So WW said she'd call, then had to get off the phone the other day (while enroute to OM's locale) because she felt sick to her stomach.

I said I was very sorry she felt ill, but that had nothing to do with her choice to get on the freeway for 3+ hours instead of being at work (claims she went in and then told them she was sick).

I said there was a question on the table that she's not answering...she said she'd call back.

No call....

I text her "When can I expect a call? Was hoping that we could have gotten together before I leave for 2 months."

She calls back 5 hours later and starts in with "didn't you get the part where I had raging diahrea?" (you know, best defense is a good offense?)

I said "yes, and I am very sorry you feel bad, but that makes it just that much more curious that you should choose to drive to OMM's house, rather than come home..."

Her "gotta go"

She texts me with "Don't want 2 argue. At OMM's. She bought tix 4 this weekend so I just wanted 2 get here and rest."

What the heck does that mean??????

I call her straight back - she doesn't answer - and I leave this message:

"WW, I am sorry you don't feel well. You've read my email. You know I need you to be straight with me."

I follow up with a text: "Here's an example of the honesty I'm looking for..."I am with OMM...I don't see OM anymore", OR "I'm with OM right now." It's just not that hard."

OK, I'm pushing...but what in the heck do you do with someone who will look you in the eye and completely ignore a straight question???

Or in her case, refuse to look me in the eye???

Kids and I are going to the fair today...a little cotton candy and roller coasters will do wonders!

Hey L2F!

Sounds like you're about to ship out... and it sounds like Mrs. L2F is still in lala-land. Sorry to hear that.

I just wanted to pop in and say Hi! I actually got back to my room before 2000hrs this evening... a new record!

If you head over my way, be sure to look me up! (or at least wiggle your wings as you fly over!

Semper Fi,

RIF

Remember they are a WAYWARD and incapable of any type of honesty that is what we recognize.

Hi L2F-

I hope you are enjoying the sun today!

It really doesn't do any good to push her to be honest or give you some kind of response. In the wayward mind, all that matters is their fantasy. My XH was so wrapped up in his A fantasy that he completely ignored the fact that his kids needed his reassurance while I was going through chemo.

He didn't even consider the fear that his children were feeling, having to take care of their mom while their dad was MIA.

He now has to deal with the damage he has caused, and he no longer as JT to help him figure out how.

Your WW is God's prodigal, not yours. He knows how to reach her much more creatively than any way you can think of-remember Jonah?

Enjoy the day!

Hey RIF, Queenie, JT, thanks for stopping by!

RIF, will be in CONUS for the 2 months of training, so I won't be in your neck of the woods for awhile.

Queenie, yeah I know that's what WWs do, but sometimes it still absolutely astounds me.

There's a great line by Kurt Russell to Mel Gibson ("Mac") in the movie Tequila Sunrise. Russell and Gibson are friends from high school but in the subsequent years Russell became a cop and Gibson a drug dealer. Russell's been aware of Gibson's activities for some time because of the unsurmountable evidence but has been looking the other way because of their friendship.

Finally, there's a confrontation and in the face of continued denials by Gibson, Russel finally says..."look, Mac, don't you get it ? ....you're caught!"

JT, had a great day yesterday! Had great time w/ the kids and got much done around the house....the house that I've done my best to make a home.

Nothing from WW...go figure.

My son had a friend over for a sleepover. His parents are divorced but both in the same town. His dad's a successful ER doc (not remarried), and the mom is younger and is now in an unhappy marriage to a much younger enlisted sailor. The friend made the offhand comment that she's "always mad". Then it hit me...obviously it's an affairage!

I then remembered that a couple of years ago, before I knew about WW and OM, WW had replied to some comment I had made about the kid's mom being kinda flaky, that she was sure the mom was happy because she had fallen in love... OMG, she was justifying her own A right in front of me and I didn't even realize it!!!

The kid's dad is a saint, and WW has even made vague comments about it...but his EXWW is "happy" and "in love"...???

Anyway, this woman is a piece of work...materialistic, alcoholic and b*tchy...I had an epiphany...so is my WW!!!

I was chuckling all day at the joke on me...

Anyway, it's Plan B time folks.

Will have one last conversation w/ WW...if she even shows up before I have to leave...and see if she'll budge one inch on the honesty thing.

Hi L2F-

I'm glad you got to enjoy the sun with your kids. Isn't it weird how the wayward brain works? There is no explaining it. Actually, I once saw a t-shirt that had a scientific formula with a stick figure in the middle of it that said "Science has proven it, the universe does indeed center around me." Maybe it's the wayward formula. Now if we could just figure out a way to reverse it...

I'll be up on the island at the Chief's Club for my YS's NJROTC awards dinner next week-end. I'll be praying for you as I go past the Prowlers out front-and then some.

BTW-my dad was a Navy Doc-retired from the reserves after 30 years.

Hi JT, thanks for the support!

Where was your Dad stationed??

That club has the best view on the island...hope the weather cooperates!



Had a conversation w/ WW tonight that was interesting...

I gently kept returning to there being a question posed that she still hadn't answered.

She finally said "well, I'm not currently seeing him...but that doesn't mean that I won't ever see him again...I just don't know."

She said she hadn't seen him this weekend.

I asked about the return address and if he lives w/ his M or in the same city, but she said no, and that he just uses that as a "permanent" address (because basically this guy's a drifter...)

I said that with all due respect I didn't necessarily believe her because she's given me very "clear-eyed" explanations for things in the past that turned out to be totally false.

hmmmm.....

No "I don't want to be married to you...", but then again I didn't ask.

Her tone of voice when talking about him really did sound more "past tense" than it has before...

My being gone will prevent her from needing to "flee" to OMM's house...with the associated baggage.

She will now be spending weekends w/ kids...a good thing.

thoughts...?

Hey L2F,

What are you thinking and feeling?

Hey L2F

Well, when my dad was active duty, he was in Omaha (which I asked him about because I don't remember Omaha having any large bodies of water, but he did induction physicals). He was also stationed in Landstuhl, at an Army Hospital when lots of the Army docs were in MASH units during Korea. Go figure. All he ever wanted was to get on board a ship, and he ends up with the Army.

He also was at Great Lakes. By the time I came around, it was week-end stuff and two weeks away and he'd come home in uniform. That was always cool. I liked the winter one the best.

He's enjoying being "retired" and going to the Navy at Bangor when my folks visit my sister over there.

It will be a great time no matter what the view. Last year my YS got a special award they only give one freshman (him) and one junior. His grandpa, grandma, me and older bro (ROTC Army at WSU) were there.

Queenie, thanks for pointing out the glaring lack of my own opinion about what happened...

What I'm thinking... WW is in withdrawal, and doesn't want to commit to anything at this point...perhaps due to pride (this woman has a HUGE chip on her shoulder).

I'm also thinking that the odds are even she's lying in order to avoid confrontation.

What I'm feeling...is that she's just stuck...

I have NO expectations, and at this point am trying to tread lightly...the way she spoke was calmer and had more of the feeling of honesty than anything she's said for a long time...