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I actually slept! I woke up a bunch of times, but I just took a sleeping pill and went back to sleep. I slept from 4 a.m. to 10 a.m. without waking up. Then I slept from 10 to noon. I don't have a headache. I feel half way normal. I didn't have any bad dreams. I did dream about Gerard Butler was cleaning my swimming pool. That was weird but nice cuz he's cute.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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I went today and picked up Sebastien's ashes from the place that did it. They were very nice to me and looked at his pictures and sat with me while they got his little box ready. Did you know they can take some of his ashes and turn it into a diamond? They showed a few to me. It's hugely expensive but very pretty. I kept it together until I got home. I miss him. Even with 3 cats here it seems empty.
Found out from intermediary that WS said he was going to be out of town last week for a business trip. I don't know what kind of trip it was. Maybe a job interview? I would really like to know, but I'm sure he wouldn't tell me. And it's probably best that I don't talk to him. Because I don't have any Ativan left and I'd need 3 or 4 of them afterwards.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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hugs LA...
I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet.
I went through it last fall. VERY HARD.
As far as your intermediary... hmm.. I am not even sure you needed that information that he was out of town on a business trip... Just makes your mind work in overdrive.
You don't really have much at this point to communicate about since lawyers are involved at this point correct?
YOU want to know NOTHING about your ex. The less you know the less crazy it can drive you.
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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Yes, I think the less I know the better. Knowing breaks my heart. I still care about him. Even after all that's happened.
I am the only one with a lawyer. I needed one.
On a good note. I received 2 phone calls today from people about jobs. I have to call them back and talk to them. I hope they are something that I can do.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Yes, I think the less I know the better. Knowing breaks my heart. I still care about him. Even after all that's happened.
I am the only one with a lawyer. I needed one.
On a good note. I received 2 phone calls today from people about jobs. I have to call them back and talk to them. I hope they are something that I can do. You must PURGE him from your soul!! Let go and let God!! It's the only way. Believe me, I didn't WANT to do that! I had to keep telling myself that I had to let go and let God until I accepted it in my heart and mind. And it worked. Otherwise I would never have been able to make it through yesterday so well. With flying colors in fact!!
Last edited by Charlotte22; 05/14/08 08:10 PM. Reason: Added another line
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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I am trying.
Today without guilt I went and got my mani/pedi. I used to get one every 2 weeks. And I hadn't had one in nearly 2 months. Now my fingers and toes are painted Chanel Ruby Slipper.
I keep having this recurring nightmare. That WS brings OW to the divorce court trial. I come unglued and kick off my heels and make a lunge at her. Better traction without your shoes on. You can also kick harder. And I've had enough MMA training to put a dent in her if I can get within arms reach of her. It would be very satisfying to punch somebody. But I always wake up as WS tries to pull me off of her. And I wake up feeling like crapola. Then I'm up for the rest of the night. Not even 400mg's of Seroquel will knock me out.
I am so glad I don't have to make this trip alone. I have 3 friends so far signed up to go with me.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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There's a good chance that might happen. It did at our temp hearing. He didn't bring her to our last hearing and I was really surprised.
You must chin up and make it not matter to you. It's hard, but you CAN do it!! Practice, practice, practice!!!
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yup, it could happen. he brought ow to custody court (and i was using the fact that he had ow against him and he brought her anyway. worked in MY favor that idiot). he also brought her to all of our support court hearings. so be prepared. i am glad you have friends going with you. ws's are so smug. i have no idea why they bring ow with them. like what they are doing is ok or something. all it did was fire my mother up to the point she shelled out a ton of money to get me the best attorney money could by. so far, he has lost every time we have gone to court.  i can relate to what you are feeling. keep doing good things for yourself too. how is the job hunt going? i am telling you, that will help you so much. to be out of the house, to be busy and to be making extra money that is all yours. will make a world of difference. mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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I am doing better I think. I've been sleeping pretty good. I still have those crazy dreams and I'd love for those to stop. I'm kinda regretting not punching WS in the face as hard as I could when I had the chance. I know it wouldn't have helped the situation, but I might have felt better. I'm thinking it would be worth going to jail for assault. Maybe I should join Tae Bo. Tai Bo is just down the street from me. I took the high road during those meetings.
One thing I have to look forward to in July is Rooney is playing the House of Blues in West Hollywood on July 18th. I'm getting tickets and going.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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I told therapy lady today that I would really like to take a swing at WS and OW if they both show up together at court. She kinda laughed and said that we really need to talk about that before I leave for AZ. She was glad to see me in such a good mood. I was telling her stories of some of the crazy stuff my brother & I did while growing up in MT. I miss my brother. I wish he would come here and be with me for awhile. I'd take him to Disneyland. We'd probably get kicked out.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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The past 2 days have been pretty decent. I've slept pretty good and food is staying down. Which has been a big problem.
At the suggestion of one of my friends I downloaded the entire first season of Gossip Girl on iTunes. I have watched every episode. I think back to HS and we didn't do that much sleeping around and that many drugs. Drinking yes. Drugs no. But it's a guilty pleasure to watch. I was definitley entertained.
And there was a double homicide about 3 blocks from here last night. I remember hearing the police helicopter circling and circling for at least 3 hrs last night. It's the big story on all of the news stations. Hopefully my street stays quiet.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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I am so down. Today started out ok. Then I lost a $100 bill. I have zero idea where I lost it. Just that I'm less $100 now. I looked outside, in my Jeep, took every item out of my purse, even took my pants off and rechecked the pockets. I feel so stupid. I remember taking it out of the envelope and putting it on my desk. Then I think I either put it in my pocket or my purse. I lost it and I feel stupid. I want to kick myself. I only have $500 in my secret savings now. I have to save it for July when I have to go to Arizona. I need a job. And I need to start having a better memory. 
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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what kinds of jobs are you putting in for?
ANY job at this point is better than no job.
What about retail in a nice trendy shop or something?
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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Retail doesn't pay enough. I am applying for executive assistants, administrative assistants and secretary jobs. Mostly at the movie and music companies. I put in 9 apps last night. Plus I've also applied for any admin jobs at the local hospitals. Hopefully I'll hear something back.
I feel so stupid about losing that money. I don't know where my brain is.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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it was a mistake, it happens.
hey, don't he kardashian sisters own some shops out there?
i'd love to work in one of those just because that show cracks me up!
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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Those girls are so dizzy! LOL... I've saw the show a few times. They are all very pretty, but clueless.
I took a very uncomfortable pair of shoes back to Nordstroms today. There was an actor at the Armani makeup counter. He was buying the same kind of base makeup I use! It's great stuff and the girl helping him was so nice. I walked all over Nordstroms and only bought a pomegranate lemonade from the coffee shop. But it was fun to walk around and see all of the people I know there. They were showing me all the new stuff. I need a job, so I can buy some new clothes. Clothes that fit.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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I went to the gym today and ran/walked for an hour. It wore me out and made me feel better. I'm going to make it a rule to run/walk for an hour every day. I feel tired but calm. I've been thinking of doing this class. It's really popular and a girl I know does it. www.cardiobarre.com It's even been in my Shape and Us Weekly magazines.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Hi Sunshine,
I'm glad your keeping us informed on how and what you are doing, it helps to keep us connected and not feel so all alone.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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I went to the gym today and ran/walked for an hour. It wore me out and made me feel better. I'm going to make it a rule to run/walk for an hour every day. I feel tired but calm. I've been thinking of doing this class. It's really popular and a girl I know does it. www.cardiobarre.com It's even been in my Shape and Us Weekly magazines. You should try belly dancing. Talk about a workout!! WHEW!!! It really sculpts your torso pretty quick, too. I started to notice about 6 weeks in. And that's with class once a week for an hour!
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I checked into belly dancing. It's super expensive for classes.
Saw Sex & the City today with a couple of friends. Cried through the entire movie. Cried all my makeup off. Only laughed once. Ate too much popcorn. If you're a fan of the series, you'll like the movie.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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