I would like to ask if there has been contact, but have no idea if I should or how I should bring it up.

It’s been almost a year since the last know contact with the OM. Contact was made one time and was found by using a tracking device. WW lied about it several times until I told her how I knew. Tracking device was placed back in car August and discovered by WW and I have never found it and never talked or asked about it. I wrote a letter to the OM in the fall and sent it telling him to stop contacting her or I would expose to his employer. He is a Master Social Worker. See my full story by following my name link.

We are getting along very well. Spend time together mostly with family or friends. Have a DD that plays softball and runs track so spend time watching her four or five nights a week. Are we recovered? I’m not sure, but things are much better than I can remember.

So why do I feel the need to ask? I think it goes back to shortly after discovery and she said her plan all along was to wait until the DD was out of school and then leave me, but OM couldn’t wait. So we’re a year away.

I'd rather you just verify yourself. Find somewhere else to put the GPS if you have to. Get creative.

Is there some reason that you suspect contact?

Denny, if she is in contact she most likely won't tell you and will just do a better job of hiding it. Your best bet is to do what Jim suggests and do your own sleuthing.

Exposure is something that should be done, not threatened. When you threaten exposure, the culprits start planning for that eventuality, and the effectiveness of the exposure is either severely diminished or lost entirely.

Do the GPS thing again. And if you discover contact, just expose.

Do they still work together?

Do they still work together? [/quote]

JW -- No they never have. WW has a job that requires driving and he works in the same city that her head quarter is located. It's very easy for them to meet, without anyone knowing. But on the other hand there is always someway.

There was exposure to several family and friends. OM was self employed, but did get a job part time, but I was never able to find him. Did a lot of cold calling but never found him. His live in girl friend of ten years did expose to my wife’s employer and me, but nothing much ever came of it; the employer. They no longer are a couple and I guess have not been since Jan 07.

I'll be back and check in tomorrow, I do thank all for their advice.

MIM.
I guess my question becomes why should I be the one trying to prove there is no contact? Why should I be worried that her promise of no contact is still in force? The last time May 07 was actually the third time I found out they were seeing and talking with each other? Why shouldn’t I expect her to provide phone records etc, to prove her word?

Jim: Do I expect there is contact? Yes sometimes, especially after my letter to him last fall.

Denny, you are half right in your belief that she should be the one accounting for her time and being open and transparent. She should be doing that. But you should also be doublechecking to make sure you are getting the truth. Your W has shown that she is untrustworthy in the past. You know this and have to take it into account. You signed on for this when you agreed to stay after her affair. Trust.............but verify.

Melo. I understand that trust but verify. I’m not sure why I need or maybe it becomes, if I need to find out if I can trust her. I’m not sure if I will ever trust her. Alot of if! When will I no longer need proof?

With the individual she was/is involved with has about as much experience as any one here. He’s been working with problem marriages for over 25 years; I’m sure he has heard it all. Knowing that I went to those extremes (tracker) I’m sure they check everything pretty closely. I’ve read the link on spying and really can’t come up with a way. She does not use the computer at home, spends most of the day in her car or in stores or in route to and from stores. Voice recorder has cross my mind, but she puts hours on her phone talking through problems at stores while driving. Seems like a lot of hours listening for a conversation. Any ideas?

What's wrong with the GPS? That how you've caught her before, right? If she looks for it, just hide it somewhere she can't find it. Bolt it to the underside of the car if you have to.

Den,

Contact was made one time and was found by using a tracking device. WW lied about it several times until I told her how I knew.

She lied about it then, she will lie about it now.

If your gut tells you something is up, then trust it.

And, if you don't care anymore, then you don't need to verify if she is telling you the truth.

Or tell her you know she is still in contact! Go ballistic and tell her to stop it or else, to test her reaction.

Get a P.I. to follow her.

The GPS dealio sounds like a winner. Do you still have the old one?

That's all I got.

kirk

Jim- Kirk

Yes the GPS was great, but that is gone or she may still have it. In August I put it back into her car and she found it. Since she found it there has been no reference to either it or him. Just the letter tohim and a couple of other people that know about the contact.

My gut sometimes says there is something but in the past six months the hot flashes/change of life – menopause has been picking up the pace so I’m not sure.

I'll let you know if I work up the nerve to ask or tell her I know

Thanks

Denny, you will ask her WHAT?

Melodylane
Sorry I just left for the game yesterday. I guess I would ask her how things seem to her. Am I meeting her needs? Is she pleased with our relationship? Is she happy with us? I’m hoping that she will ask back and then I guess I will just say I’ve been having feelings again. The same feelings that caused me to track you last May. Have you been in contact with him? How do I know you have not?

Denny, that would not be a good idea, because if she is in contact, she isn't going to tell you the truth anyway. You will just be tipping her off that you are suspicious and send her further underground. Don't ASK, GO FIND OUT!! Asking a wayward is a waste of time that never reaps anything.

Does anyone know of a way to find someones cell phone number?

Is there a way to get cell phone records from a corporate contract/account on individual phone numbers? Without the passwords?

Denny, you can ask a PI if he can get them. If it can't be done, he will tell you that. Some from the board have used this PI and sometimes, depending on the carrier, he can get the goods. He is very reasonable too. Call the # on this link and ask for Frank Music. http://www.frankmusicinvestigations.net/