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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 132
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 132 |
I have so many books I am reading and I find common threads running thru many of them. I picked up the book: "The Five Languages of Love" by Gary Chapman, and he touches on the love bank theory too. The 3rd chapter was the hardest to read thru. It hit too close to home and I had to set it down many times because of the tears. He explains the concept behind the "in love" experience and how at it's peak it is euphoric, but that studies show it only lasts by average about 2 years. Combined with SAA I have my questions answered as to how, and why H's A occurred. Doesn't make it any easier..but I have answers now.
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,602
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,602 |
Wadeallie,
I love that book. After I read it my whole life started to make sense. Reading it also answered the big "why did I have an A?" question. I knew after I read the book why I had an A and why it was with the person it was.
DH and I actually went to Gary Chapman's marriage conference a few weeks ago and I would HIGHLY recommend it to everyone. He has many more scheduled all over the US in the upcoming months.
Have you been on his website? If not check out everything you can over there. Lots of valuable information.
Also, be sure to check out the radio broadcasts on his website. Awesome information all for free.
LC
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,516
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,516 |
Wadeallie,
That book is so similar to Dr. Harley's methods and a GREAT resource. It was much easier for my H to start to read then HNHN. Maybe because it's towards finding your way back to love,how to love whereas HNHN includes overcoming A's. I think my H has certain denials in an EA being as bad as PA. Me not so much...part of being the BS huh?!
In the 5 love languages said basically the same things but the examples where not A related and easier for him to *see* the same things.
Highly recommend the book.
LC thanks for the conferences and website info. I have never checked those out.
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 132
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 132 |
My H also found the Five Love Languages easier to read. He is not much into reading Dr. Harley's books because he touches so often on affairs and H is still stinging from the guilt. But..when Gary Chapman began his explanation of his principles at the beginning of Chapter #3, he held NO punches when he described the feeling of "being in love" as not being any more than a euphoric feeling brought about by instinct. He explained how studies show it's not a true love and will not last past an average 2 years. It brought tears to my eyes to think how so many people give up their marriages and risk it all for a euphoric "high" but in truth, ISN'T THAT WHAT A DRUG ADDICT DOES???
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