New to site. Married 32 years to man because of pregnancy, but was breaking up when discovered. After 31 years learned that he doesn't love me, resented marrying me. Have had difficulty whole time, but stayed committed to covenant, however he has never committed to me emotionally, spiritually or physically. Also learned this year that for the entire 32 years he has fanticized about other women, known, unknown or made up in order to be sexually intimate with me. two years ago he brought a young woman into our home as a "daughter" who needed fathering. As they spent time together discussing her fathering issues, etc. going to same church, and eventually working for him, recreating with him, they developed an emotional bond he never has with me. I meanwhile, was suppose to be mentoring her as a mother. They moved into physical and stopped before intercourse, but stimulated to climax and started to plan get togethers when I was gone. Professed love for each other, but guilt got the best of them and she moved away and told him not to contact her. He has spoken with her once and seen her accidentally once.He considers her a "friend" now. Says he was obsessed and addicted to her. She is 25 years younger than him , never married, no fulltime job, never cared for a home, continues to go to Bible schools, programs to be available for the Lord to take her where He wants. Says he is confused, is seeing a counselor, sleeping elsewhere at night. We are waiting until our children 23 and 17 finish school and finals to tell them . We have written out a Controlled Separation Agreement. I told him he needs time alone to figure out what to do and work on himself. At this point I told him not to consider working on a marriage. Question: since there never was love in this marriage and I have worked 32 years to try to engage him and develop a loving relationship and he has chosen not to engage, if he decides to return to work on the marriage to someone he doesn't love while having given his heart and body to another, is it possible to create a real marriage with him?
